


For Real This Time

by lusthurts



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blaine Anderson & Sam Evans Friendship, Dalton Academy Warblers, Eventual Romance, Family Issues, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Minor Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Past Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:20:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 72,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27077128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lusthurts/pseuds/lusthurts
Summary: It's been a month since the breakup and Blaine still finds himself sleepwalking through his own life, barely taking the time to focus on homework or glee club or even his friends. After an entire summer of not speaking to his former close friend due to Kurt's orders, Blaine reunites with Sebastian on a fluke and finds himself quickly falling into old patterns. But something about him is different this time and Blaine is entranced by the way he never says enough, or says a little bit too much, or say nothing at all. There are so many unanswered questions always lingering between them, so many unspoken words that Blaine doesn't think he'll ever know the meaning of. As he slowly falls for Sebastian, he's torn between the comfort of an obligation to stay true to Kurt and the excitement of something new with the boy he never seems to be able to get out of his head.Canon divergence beginning sometime between 4x04 & 4x05. Not super Kurt friendly.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe
Comments: 69
Kudos: 156





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is an idea I've been toying around with for a while now as I've wanted to write for Sebastian & Blaine for a long time. The title is what I titled the doc where I began this story "For Real This Time" as a commitment to myself that I would actually go through with it this time and finish the story. It came to mean something else entirely and it ended up sticking. I hope you all enjoy this and I can't wait to hear what everyone has to say. I'll be updating at least weekly, sometimes twice a week.

Blaine Anderson’s face had heartbroken written all over it when he walked into the Lima Bean one Thursday afternoon. His eyes looked bloodshot, as if he hadn’t slept in a week. The gel in his hair was applied sloppily at best, with random curls all over his head. He wore no bowtie; he didn’t feel up to it. Instead he wore jeans and a comfortable sweater. Fall in Lima was coming to an end and the air was starting to chill, so he wore a scarf around his neck. 

Feeling so out of place in the coffee shop he used to frequent, the place Kurt used to work, Blaine transitioned to autopilot as he ordered himself a medium drip. Memories of Kurt’s confession of his crush in this very line brought Blaine back to two years earlier where he stood pining over Jeremiah while Kurt was forced to listen. Blaine decided to stay out of sight, worried he might run into someone he knew if he sat toward the front of the café like he normally did. Instead, he took a seat in the back near the corner. He tried to take his focus off of Kurt by scrolling through Facebook on his phone, but that rarely worked anymore. He got out his laptop and decided to start working on a paper due at the end of the week, hoping to at least channel his pain in a productive manner. 

20 minutes into his English paper, Blaine’s thoughts were interrupted by a striking taller boy leaning over his table as he pulled out a chair. “Hey, Killer. Mind if I join you?” Sebastian asked the question after he had already sat down, so Blaine didn’t see the point in trying to protest. 

“I’m doing homework,” Blaine explained, not really wanting to deny him a seat but feeling the need to make it known that he wasn’t particularly interested in talking. 

Sebastian looked a little taken aback at Blaine’s tone. Blaine didn’t even notice how harsh and uninviting he sounded. Of course, he didn’t mean to hurt Sebastian’s feelings, if he had any, but he just wasn’t in the mood for Sebastian’s obsessive flirting. “Did we not used to sit here and work on homework together all the time?” 

Blaine’s guilt at the thought consumed him. Over the summer, he barely spoke to Sebastian because he wanted to spend every moment enjoying his time with Kurt rather than making Kurt angry. No matter how many times Blaine denied having feelings for Sebastian, Kurt never believed him. Blaine finally produced a mumbled, “I’m sorry.” 

All of Sebastian’s efforts focused on Blaine who still didn’t look at him. Maybe he was just focused on whatever essay he was trying to write. Or maybe it was something else entirely. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Sebastian asked, hoping he could get something more out of Blaine. 

“With you? No,” Blaine said defensively, hoping Sebastian would drop it. He didn’t mean for his tone to sound so cross, but he couldn’t help it. Sebastian was the first person he’d spoken to other than Sam and Finn in two weeks. 

Despite Blaine’s efforts to close himself off from Sebastian’s affections, the Warbler always liked a challenge. “Come on, we used to talk about basically everything. How about drinks on me tomorrow night?” 

Blaine couldn’t bring himself to throw another insult Sebastian’s way. He tried his best to stop his frustration over Kurt from getting in the way of the other relationships in his life, but it was nearly impossible. Every time Blaine felt close to someone else, he felt guilty, as if he didn’t deserve anyone at all because he would just hurt them, just like he hurt Kurt. “I don’t know if I’m up for it, Sebastian.” 

The one thing Sebastian disliked more than Kurt was Blaine’s rejection. Although Blaine never confirmed the breakup, Sebastian heard about it through rumors at Dalton and noticed Blaine’s relationship status on Facebook switch to Single. He used to check every day, hopelessly wishing Baine would realize how Kurt treated him and that he could do better. Blaine unfriended Sebastian over the summer, so it made stalking him on social media a bit more difficult. He figured it was Kurt’s doing, but didn’t think now was the proper time to bring up something like that. “I think you need it. Once you’re there with a couple beers in your system, you won’t remember why you didn’t want to come.” 

Blaine shook his head, wishing he could ignore the strong desire he had to take Sebastian’s advice and drown his sorrows in alcohol. It always worked in the past, but he knew it wouldn’t make his breakup with Kurt go away, which meant it was only a temporary fix to a very big problem. “Maybe I’ll stop by,” Blaine finally conceded. He knew he couldn’t commit to anything because he rarely felt like doing anything anymore. Sam and Blaine got in the habit of having movie marathons every Friday night at the Hudson-Hummel house, but sometimes it stung for Blaine to be around Burt. Plus, Sam always felt bad for cancelling his plans with Brittany to hang out with Blaine, even though his friendship with Blaine would always come first. 

“That’s all I needed to hear,” Sebastian smirked as he lifted his coffee to his lips. All he wanted was to bring up the Facebook relationship status, but he knew if there was any way to isolate Blaine in a time where he clearly needed a friend, that would be the way to do it. He decided the best thing he could do to maintain some semblance of a relationship with Blaine would be leaving him alone before he pushed it too far. “I hope to see you tomorrow.” Sebastian winked at Blaine as he stood up and walked away. He always liked to maintain his power over Blaine and part of the strategy was leaving him wanting more. 

After all, Blaine found Sebastian almost irresistible. His never-ending charm combined with that seductive smirk had Blaine staring after Sebastian as he walked away from the table, despite never actually making eye contact with him while they sat together. Now that he was single, Blaine knew he couldn’t resist those eyes. But sleeping with Sebastian would drive Kurt away from him forever. 

The next day passed by slowly. The New Directions spent half of their time preparing for sectionals and the other half rehearsing for the school musical. Finn decided on Grease and explicitly told Blaine that the part of Danny was his if he wanted it, but Blaine knew he couldn’t accurately convey a teenager in love when he recently lost his own teenage dream. He settled on playing Teen Angel, hoping that at the very least he could be a crowd-pleasing scene stealer. 

Blaine pushed the idea of meeting Sebastian at Scandals to the back of his mind, figuring Sebastian probably forgot he even invited him. He had plans with Sam to watch the first three Star Wars movies. Unfortunately, those plans started to change when Sam approached Blaine at the end of glee rehearsal. “Hey man, I’m really sorry but I can’t do Star Wars tonight. Carole and Burt want to start doing those Friday night dinner things again with me and Finn.” 

As much as he tried not to show his disappointment, Blaine knew his best friend would see through his facade. “How about we do tomorrow instead?” He asked, hoping Sam didn’t want to cancel all together. 

“Yes, of course. Then we can watch the first six movies.” Sam reached his hand up for a high-five and Blaine reciprocated, thrilled neither of them wanted to cancel. As soon as the high-five finished, Sam left the choir room with Finn, leaving Blaine to contemplate how he would spend his night. 

When he had plans with Sam, Blaine didn’t need to confront his feelings about meeting Sebastian. Now, he had to decide if he would go to Scandals and pretend to have a good time or go home and spend his night agonizing over Kurt some more. Either way, he’d be sad, but at least one of the options included alcohol which at the very least would make him feel less pain. 

Blaine ultimately decided he would go home, change clothes, and see if he felt like spending a night drinking with Sebastian. Sure, the two of them drank together before. There was the time at Scandals with Kurt and then that night in Sebastian’s dorm with the red wine before the Michael Jackson debacle. But he worried about what he might do now that he didn’t have Kurt on his conscience. 

Before he could think too hard about what might happen, Blaine was parking his car in the Scandals parking lot and trying to get the courage to walk inside. He stared at the doors and once again found himself in autopilot, standing inside the bar and staring at everyone on the dance floor. Nobody looked quite like his type, not that he cared. 

Sebastian noticed Blaine almost immediately. He tried to play it cool, but he’d been watching the door all night hoping Blaine would show up. “Wow, I can’t believe you really showed. I ordered you a drink.” He slid a glass of something the bartender picked out Blaine’s way. Blaine chose not to acknowledge Sebastian; he just picked up the drink and started chugging. “Easy, Killer. I don’t want you to blackout before I get a dance,” Sebastian joked. 

Blaine rolled his eyes as he pulled the drink away from his lips. “Interesting. It seems like you would want that given it’s the only chance you’ll have of me sleeping with you.” 

He looked offended at the accusation. “I do not need guys to blackout to get them to sleep with me.” Sebastian rolled his eyes as he took a sip of his own drink. “Right,” Blaine nodded as he flagged down the bartender for another drink. 

“So are you gonna tell me what this is all about?” Sebastian asked, gesturing toward the empty drink sitting in front of Blaine. 

Blaine tried to play dumb, hoping Sebastian would buy whatever excuse he could come up with. “Can’t a guy just enjoy a night out every once in a while?” 

Sebastian let out a laugh at the thought. “This clearly isn’t just a night out. You look like you have some sort of vendetta. I’ve never seen you slam a drink that fast. Clearly something’s bothering you.” 

As soon as the bartender slid another drink Blaine’s way, he gave it the same treatment as he did the first one. “Alright, I’ll play.” He decided he’d go along with whatever plan Sebastian had for him. One drink in and he already felt the need to volunteer information he never would have mentioned before. “I’m single. I was a crappy boyfriend and now I’m single and Kurt won’t even answer my texts. He blocked me on Facebook. We communicate through Finn now.” 

Sebastian was surprised at Blaine’s willingness to talk about the breakup with him. After all, Sebastian spent the better half of a year trying to break them up and the other half pining after Blaine like a lost puppy, not that Blaine would ever know how Sebastian really felt. “Damn. What did you do?” 

The bartender set a few shots in front of Blaine and Sebastian. “You look like you need these.” He nodded toward Blaine. “On the house.” 

“The bartender is super into you,” Sebastian joked, hoping it would make Blaine feel more comfortable sharing more information about Kurt. 

Luckily, the shots did just that. Blaine took one and then turned to face Sebastian. “I cheated. And it feels awful.” 

Before that night, Sebastian had no idea what really went down between Kurt and Blaine. Knowing the truth changed everything. It meant his relationship with Kurt was breakable, that they weren’t meant to be together after all. “Why’d you do it?” Sebastian asked, taking one of the shots for himself. 

Blaine shrugged, staring at the wall. “I don’t know. I was lonely, I guess.” 

Sebastian tried to read Blaine’s blank expression, but he looked like he felt nothing at all, almost as if he was numb to the breakup. “Let’s dance,” Sebastian suggested, standing up and reaching for Blaine’s hand. Blaine took Sebastian’s hand and stood up but felt all of his blood rush to his head as he tried to regain balance. “Whoa, you okay?” Sebastian asked, pulling Blaine closer when he noticed him start to stumble. 

Blaine didn’t respond; he just pulled Sebastian toward the dance floor and started moving with the music. Sebastian loved this side of Blaine. Carefree, drunken dancing really did the curly-haired boy justice. His moves, while normally perfect, fell apart just the right amount when he had a few drinks in his system. He knew he shouldn’t try anything with Blaine after that much alcohol, but damn he looked good. 

They danced for a few hours, taking breaks to do shots in between. Sebastian didn’t notice how out of it Blaine was until he saw him reciprocating the bartender’s flirting. After he noticed that, he knew he needed to get Blaine home somehow, but he was a mess. Sebastian also had too much to drink, so he could barely hold Blaine up straight, much less drive. “Let’s get you home,” Sebastian suggested, almost carrying Blaine through the doors. 

“I love it here,” Blaine grinned, throwing his hands up in the air. “I feel so...so free.” 

Sebastian chuckled to himself, wondering if it was Scandals he was talking about or just being single. He hoped it was the latter, that Blaine finally realized how trapped Kurt made him feel. “It must be freeing to not have to report back to Kurt every little thing you do.” 

Blaine held onto Sebastian tight as they waited outside. Sebastian called an Uber so they could get home safely. “It really is. Did you know he made me unfriend you on Facebook?” Blaine’s eyes stared up at Sebastian’s. He always admired the way Sebastian looked at him, like Blaine could do no wrong. 

“I’m glad you didn’t decide to do that on your own. It definitely hurt a little bit,” Sebastian admitted. He normally wouldn’t be so honest, but the liquor was getting to him, and he knew Blaine wouldn’t remember this in the morning. 

Blaine held onto Sebastian’s sleeve like a baby holds a bottle. “I’m so sorry.” 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Sebastian said. He loved all of the little things about Blaine. Every time he touched him it sent shivers down his spine. Right now, with Blaine’s hand gripping Sebastian’s sleeve and Sebastian’s fingers running through Blaine’s hair, he couldn’t help but smile. “You’re cute,” Sebastian blurted out. He couldn’t believe he said something so wholesome and honest, no sign of flirty banter, just a harmless compliment.

Blaine looked up at Sebastian and pulled himself up so that his lips were only a few inches from Sebastian’s. He wanted to kiss him. In fact, he always wanted to kiss him. But Sebastian knew better than to let the guy he’d been in love with for years make out with him after that many drinks. He wouldn’t remember it the next day and if he did, Blaine would regret it forever, ruining any chance of something happening for real between them. Luckily, Sebastian didn’t need to figure out how to reject Blaine because the Uber arrived just in time. 

Sebastian knew Blaine’s parents would kill him if he came home this wasted, so he decided he would take Blaine back to Dalton with him. Blaine would probably be pissed at him in the morning, but he’d rather him be pissed for keeping him safe than for sending him on his own back to his house at 3 am. 

When they finally reached Westerville, Sebastian helped Blaine up the stairs to Sebastian’s dorm. He passed out in the Uber but woke up when the car parked to drop the two of them off at the dorms. “Where are we?” Blaine asked, his eyes still shut despite being slightly more awake. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Sebastian responded as he helped Blaine into his room and locked the door behind them. He guided Blaine toward the bed and helped him take off his shoes. 

Blaine finally opened his eyes and stared at Sebastian as he removed his shirt and changed into something more comfortable. He admired Sebastian’s body, which was clearly well conditioned from all of that lacrosse practice. “You can sleep with me, you know,” Blaine said, not understanding the implications of the statement. 

“You could at least buy me dinner first,” Sebastian said instinctively before sitting on the floor next to where Blaine laid on the bed. 

Blaine shook his head. “No, I meant you can lie next to me and I won’t be upset. But no funny business.” 

Sebastian contemplated the offer, wishing he drank enough to think that would be a good idea. He knew nothing would happen, but just the thought of brushing up against Blaine’s body in the middle of the night made him smirk. “It’s okay. I’ll stay on the floor.” 

Blaine passed out right before Sebastian’s eyes and Sebastian couldn’t help but watch him as he slept. He looked so peaceful. This wasn’t the first time Blaine fell asleep in Sebastian’s dorm, but the last time they were in this situation, they both passed out on the floor. Part of him wanted to get up and hold Blaine in his arms, but it wasn’t time for that yet. They were friends again, or at least Sebastian hoped they would be after their night together at Scandals, and friends was good enough for now. 

When Blaine woke up, he had no idea where he was. It felt like an out of body experience. He looked around and noticed the room looked familiar. He knew exactly where he was when he discovered Sebastian playing on his phone on the floor next to the bed. “Oh god what happened?” Blaine asked, holding onto his head from the pain. 

Sebastian looked up when he noticed Blaine talking. “Good, you’re awake.” He smiled and stood up to grab a glass of water for Blaine. He handed him the glass with a smirk. “You were pretty fucked up last night, Blaine Warbler.” 

Blaine continued looking around the room, trying to process what happened and how he ended up in Sebastian Smythe’s bed. He barely remembered anything after his rant about Kurt and joining Sebastian on the dance floor. Knowing how flirty he became when drinking, Blaine started to worry that something must have happened. “What happened?” 

“Dude, you really need to learn to hold your alcohol. This has gotta be the fifth time I’ve seen you that wasted,” Sebastian shrugged. “Drink this.” 

Blaine stared at the glass of water and decided he wouldn’t do anything until he figured out what happened. “You’re not answering my questions.” 

“You know you’re a lot nicer when you’re drunk,” Sebastian joked, nudging Blaine’s arm. He hoped to get a reaction out of Blaine. After Sebastian spent his entire night taking care of him, the least Blaine could do was have a normal conversation. Blaine stared at Sebastian, clearly not in the mood to joke around. “You’re no fun.” He rolled his eyes, deciding to give up the act and tell Blaine the truth. “I wasn’t about to bring you home wasted to your parents and we didn’t leave until 3 am so I figured you could come back here and crash in my bed. If you’re worried that we hooked up, you’re safe. You did try to kiss me, though.” 

Blaine leaned back and stared at the ceiling. The room felt like it was spinning, and he couldn’t seem to focus on staring at just one thing because it was moving too fast. Part of Blaine wanted to respond with some snarky comment; that’s what Sebastian would do if the roles were reversed. But he knew what Sebastian did was nice and completely out of character, so he figured he owed him a thank you. “Thanks,” Blaine mumbled, hoping Sebastian wouldn’t read too much into it. “You were kind of a mess last night. Do you wanna talk about it?” Sebastian asked as he stood up and sat next to Blaine on the bed. 

Even though nothing happened, Blaine felt guilty about something. He felt as if he was cheating on somebody. But he wasn’t; he and Kurt broke up and it seemed like there was no chance of them getting back together. In fact, the night at Scandals was the first time since the breakup that Blaine truly felt free rather than trapped. The feeling disappeared as soon as Blaine woke up and realized how mad Kurt would be if he heard about him spending the night in Sebastian’s bed. “I probably shouldn’t be here,” Blaine said, starting to stand up. The second he lifted himself from the bed he collapsed back down. “Damn hangovers.” 

Sebastian stared at Blaine, genuinely worried about his well-being. He looked so free the night before, so much happier than the broken boy that sat in front of him now. “Blaine, what happened?” 

“I’m the one that’s supposed to be asking that. I thought you remembered everything from last night,” Blaine turned to face Sebastian. 

“Not last night, last summer. You and I used to be really close. We hung out all the time, we texted, messaged online. Then one day it just stopped. What happened?” Sebastian asked again, staring into Blaine’s eyes for some form of validation. 

Blaine knew if they were going to continue hanging out, this would happen eventually. He never explained himself when he cut Sebastian out of his life. It felt silly now, looking back at that spring day when Kurt told Blaine he needed to stop responding. They sat in silence for a few moments while Blaine tried to think of a way to justify it. He didn’t think twice at the time. His whole life revolved around Kurt. He would’ve done anything to make Kurt happy. Thinking about that day put Blaine right back in Kurt’s house. 

_“Is that Sebastian?” Kurt asked, staring at Blaine’s phone as it kept lighting up._

_Blaine turned his phone over so that neither of them could tell when it lit up with a new message. “We’re just talking about nationals.”_

_Kurt shook his head, staring at Blaine in disbelief. “Look, Blaine, I trust you, but I stopped talking to Chandler because it made you feel uncomfortable. This weird friendship you have with Sebastian makes me feel uncomfortable, so I don’t understand why you still talk to him after all this time. I don’t want to be the guy that makes you choose, but I think I have to be. If you want to avoid the big fight we’re on the verge of, I think you should stop talking to him.”_

_Blaine stared at Kurt in disbelief. Of course, he should’ve seen this coming. Kurt never liked Sebastian and he never approved of their friendship no matter how much Blaine insisted that Kurt could trust Blaine to never do anything with someone else. Still, he hoped he could keep his friend in his life without upsetting his boyfriend. He needed other people; he couldn’t rely on Kurt for everything. Instead, Blaine refused to protest. “Okay,” he agreed, picking up his phone._

_“And I don’t really want him seeing what we’re up to, either. I’m not going to force you to do this, but I would really like it if you would unfriend him on Facebook. I don’t like him commenting on all of your posts,” Kurt complained, his eyes drifting away from Blaine as if he was embarrassed of his own request._

_At first, Blaine hesitated, thinking he might be able to push back on the Facebook of it all. But then he realized that if he was going to cut Sebastian out like Kurt wanted, he would have to go all in. Otherwise, Sebastian could still contact him at any moment, and Blaine didn’t want that temptation. He clicked “unfriend” on Sebastian’s profile and that was the end of the discussion._

Looking back now, it seemed like he abandoned a pretty solid friendship for a guy who only wanted him until the big beautiful city came along. “Kurt asked me to stop talking to you.” 

“So you just stopped texting me back? You unfriended me on Facebook? Why didn’t you just tell me?” Sebastian asked. His voice cracked at the last part. Blaine never saw so much raw emotion in Sebastian. He seemed genuinely hurt by Blaine’s actions, which made Blaine feel even worse. 

Blaine tried to think of the correct words to justify what he did, but the words didn’t exist. There was no explaining it away. “I knew what you would say if I told you the truth. You’d ramble on about how I deserve better and you’d treat me right and Kurt shouldn’t get to tell me what to do. But I didn’t want to hear any of that. I was so in love with him.” 

“Blaine, he was suffocating you,” Sebastian blurted out, anger in his voice. He didn’t mean to get mad at Blaine, but he couldn’t listen to him whine about Kurt anymore. Even Sebastian, who had never been in a relationship, could see that Kurt never treated Blaine the way he deserved to be treated. 

Staring back at Sebastian, Blaine couldn’t believe he snapped. Suffocating? Sure, maybe Kurt had a tendency to be a bit controlling. But suffocating? No, of course not. Kurt loved Blaine and he just wanted to support him. He wasn’t trying to suffocate him. “I should go.” Blaine said, standing up and straightening out his clothes. 

Sebastian reached for Blaine’s arm. “Wait,” he said, so much longing present in his voice. 

“No, you don’t get to pretend that you know my relationship. You aren’t him. You don’t know what we had or what his reasoning was behind asking me to stay away from you,” Blaine shook his head, trying his best to keep it together while he walked toward the door. 

Sebastian frowned before standing up to follow Blaine. “You don’t think I know that I’m not him? You don’t think I think about that every time I see you and you’re messed up because of something he did to you?” He seemed angry all of a sudden, upset that Blaine would attack him like this after how Kurt treated him. “Whatever, you’re never gonna get it.” He opened the door to his room. “I’ll drive you home.” 

Blaine stared at Sebastian, confused by his confession. He honestly couldn’t figure out what Sebastian meant by his questions. “Wait, what do you mean?” “It’s too late, Blaine,” Sebastian shook his head and led Blaine downstairs so that he could drive him back to his car. He needed to spend the day alone. He never thought he’d be so honest around anyone, much less Blaine, who had effectively toyed with Sebastian’s emotions for over a year. 

They barely spoke a word to each other on the drive home. Blaine couldn’t stop thinking he might have hurt Sebastian by yelling at him about Kurt. He knew he needed to get over it and stop treating people like this, but he couldn’t help it. He felt so lost without Kurt. The night he spent at Scandals with Sebastian was the first time in almost a month that he felt like one day he might be okay. 

Somehow, the excruciating hangover made Blaine’s thoughts start to spiral. Despite the lingering headache, he couldn’t stop thinking of Kurt. He felt guilty for spending the night with Sebastian, even if nothing happened. Part of him didn’t want to accept that his relationship with Kurt had ended for real and hanging out with Sebastian again solidified the feeling that he would never have Kurt back again. Kurt asked him to stop talking to Sebastian, and the fact that he could talk with him again with no consequences meant that something severe had changed. And Blaine didn’t like that at all. 

As Blaine spent the next several minutes in his room thinking about all of the things he wished he could say to Kurt, he completely forgot about his movie plans with Sam. His phone started ringing at exactly noon. “Hey, Sam,” Blaine answered, his voice sounding hoarse. He hoped Sam wouldn’t notice. 

“Dude get over here. We need to start the marathon now or we’re never gonna get through it all in time,” Sam insisted. Blaine had to admit that Sam had been the perfect friend ever since the breakup. Somehow, Sam managed to be there for Blaine without saying anything at all, and the thought of having Sam’s support reassured Blaine that things might one day feel okay again. 

Despite his secret desires to stay hibernated in his room all day nursing his hangover, Blaine knew he should spend the day with Sam. “I’ll be there in a half hour; I need to take a shower.” With that, Blaine hung up and prepared to drive to the Hudson-Hummel household for their movie marathon. 

Driving to the house felt like second nature to Blaine. He couldn’t help but picture himself driving to spend time with Kurt. It all felt too nostalgic, and the fact that nostalgic was the word that described it made Blaine even more upset. He wished this could just be another day with Kurt, not a sad day spent reliving memories from the past. It shouldn’t be nostalgic. Kurt should be Blaine’s present and his future. Sam greeted Blaine at the door and embraced him into a hug. “Dude, I’m so glad you’re here. Carole and Burt are out, and Finn is working at the tire shop. I can’t figure out how to work the oven.” 

Blaine gave Sam a playful eye roll. “You’ve lived here for a year.” 

“I don’t cook. Plus, I swear the thing is out to get me.” He led Blaine into the kitchen where Sam proceeded to stare at the oven, crossing his arms in anger. “All I want is pizza rolls.” 

For the first time that day, Blaine was glad he decided to spend the day with his friend. He appreciated Sam’s cluelessness sometimes. He helped Sam figure out the oven and when the pizza rolls were done, they started up the first Star Wars movie. 

Blaine thought he had gotten away with his wild night with Sebastian until Sam remembered something. “Oh yeah, I meant to ask you earlier, what was that voicemail you left me about last night?” 

Crap. How did Blaine think it would be a good idea to call Sam while he was drinking? He had no memory of calling Sam or what he might have said. “What did I say?” 

“I didn’t understand half of what you said, but I know there was some stuff about a bartender? And you kept saying that you felt free and that dancing so close felt good, but you didn’t say who you were dancing with or where you were or anything. Obviously, I figured you were drunk, but I couldn’t catch the details,” Sam explained, looking to Blaine for his side of the story. 

Blaine tried to think of an excuse to cover up what really happened, but he knew it was no use. He had to be honest with Sam. After thinking about it for a while, he realized there were no negative consequences other than Sam’s judgement to him knowing the truth, so he decided to offer the real explanation. “I went to Scandals with Sebastian last night. We ran into each other the other day at the Lima Bean and he invited me out, so I decided to stop by. I was pretty drunk, as I’m sure you heard, and I think I spent most of the night dancing with him.” 

Sam nodded along, making sure to listen to the entirety of Blaine’s story. “So...you were talking about how you liked dancing with Sebastian?”

It felt scandalous to Blaine, but he figured there was no use spinning the story for his best friend. “Yeah.” 

Before Blaine could elaborate further, Sam asked a follow up question. “You sounded really happy, Blaine. Happier than I’ve seen you in a long time.” “Alcohol tends to do that to a person,” Blaine shrugged, staring forward at the TV. 

Sam shook his head. “No way, it wasn’t just the alcohol. And I don’t just mean since the breakup. You sounded so...I don’t know, it’s just like you said, you sounded free.” Blaine thought about Sam’s words, realizing how closely they paralleled the things Sebastian told him that morning. 

“I honestly don't remember most of it.” Blaine hoped it would be a sufficient answer to Sam’s questioning. He didn’t want to get into the whole Kurt controlling him thing. He still didn’t believe it himself, so he didn’t want more people influencing his feelings toward Kurt. 

Sam listened to Blaine’s thoughts before he continued. “So you’re hanging out with Sebastian again?” Blaine simply nodded. “How do you feel about that?” 

“We’re just friends, Sam.” For some reason, Blaine felt the need to clarify the terms of his relationship with Sebastian, even if Sam didn’t explicitly ask. He wanted it to be clear that he wasn’t ready to move on from Kurt, especially with someone like Sebastian who had a profound impact on trying to tear Kurt and Blaine apart. “Please don’t say anything to Finn or Kurt. I don’t want it getting blown out of proportion.” 

Sam agreed. “Of course. But I didn’t ask if you liked him. Don’t you think it’s a little odd that you jumped so quickly to saying you’re just friends?” 

Sure, Blaine knew it was odd how his default response to any question related to Sebastian was “we’re just friends”, but he didn’t know how to explain why to Sam. Maybe he just got so used to that excuse with Kurt that it became his natural reflex to justify his relationship with Sebastian. “I don’t know.” 

“If you ever want to talk about it, I’m always around. I know most people hate him, so it’s probably hard for you to tell people about it. But I’m never gonna get mad at you for telling me what’s going on.” Sam gave Blaine a comforting smile and that’s all he needed to relax and keep enjoying the movie. 

Part of Blaine expected to hear from Sebastian at some point that weekend, but he never received the text he hoped to see. His most recent texts with Sebastian were from May discussing the upcoming national championship the New Directions hoped to win. When he finally returned to his own house the next day, Blaine found himself rereading several conversations he shared with Sebastian and reflecting on their time as friends. He wondered if Sebastian valued their friendship even more than Blaine thought. Obviously, Blaine knew Sebastian wanted more from him, but he didn’t know if Sebastian genuinely cared for him or not. It was starting to seem like he really hurt his former friend when he cut him out of his life. 

Suddenly, Blaine found himself checking his phone every few minutes or so, secretly hoping Sebastian would reach out to him, if even just to ask about the hangover. Every time his phone vibrated with a new text, Blaine desperately wished it would be a text from either Sebastian or Kurt, some sort of message that would help him understand his own feelings. 

He hated being this guy, the guy that anxiously waited by the phone. He remembered the days after he first met Sebastian, keeping his phone so close to him to avoid Kurt finding out the kinds of things Sebastian said to him. Every day they would exchange dozens of texts, telling stories from their days and engaging in harmless flirting. Blaine loved the attention, but he hated what it did to him. He hated being the nervous idiot who sat by the phone waiting for a text, and it always made him feel guilty that he felt that way about a guy who wasn’t his boyfriend. 

But it was all over now. Kurt was gone and Blaine cheated, so there was no harm in waiting by the phone for a text from Sebastian...right? He hoped the radio silence didn’t mean he was still upset over Blaine cutting him out, but at the same time, he knew the only way he could know for sure was reaching out himself. He decided he would reach out at the end of the week to find out for sure. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone whose left feedback so far and supported this story! I'm really looking forward to continuing it! So here's chapter two a little bit earlier than I anticipated posting it. I really enjoyed writing this chapter so I hope you all like it. Let me know what you think :)

When Blaine committed to waiting a week to text Sebastian, he didn’t anticipate it being so difficult. He hoped Sebastian would text him at some point to check in, but it never happened. By Wednesday, Blaine knew something was up. He decided to stop by the Lima Bean, hoping they might “accidentally” run into each other since Sebastian always seemed to be hanging out there. But even then, he was nowhere to be seen. At first, Blaine thought it was for the best. After all, he didn’t understand why he so desperately wanted Sebastian to text him. He was definitely still hung up on Kurt and he kept telling himself he had no interest in getting tangled up in something new with Sebastian, but he knew he wanted something. Thursday afternoon, Blaine decided he couldn’t take it anymore. When he reached the choir room for glee rehearsal, he pulled out his phone and was about to send a text to Sebastian when he heard Tina’s voice approaching him. 

“Hey Blaine.” She wrapped her arm around him and they sat down next to each other. “Are you and Kurt finally talking again?” Her eyes lit up, so hopeful that his relationship with Kurt would start up again. 

Blaine never understood Tina’s obsession with his romance with Kurt, but in a way, he found it somewhat refreshing. At least someone understood that he and Kurt were soulmates. On the other hand, it could be pretty annoying. Tina’s constant reminder of what Blaine lost combined with her always asking for an update on the relationship just reminded him that he had made no progress in his quest to earn Kurt’s trust again. “No, it’s not Kurt.” He looked down and turned his phone off, hoping he could prevent himself from sending the text until Saturday, like he originally planned. 

Tina’s eyebrow raised in suspicion at Blaine’s response. “Everyone you talk to is in this room, Blaine.” 

For a moment, Blaine contemplated telling Tina the truth. It would be nice to have someone to talk to about this, especially someone who understood his complex history with Sebastian and Kurt. But then he remembered the turmoil left by Sebastian on the New Directions and figured Tina would never understand. “It’s just my mom.” 

“No way, this is not the face you have when you text your mom; it’s the face you have when you talk about Kurt. What’s going on?” She asked, glaring at him. Damn Tina for knowing him so well. 

Blaine shook his head and turned to face her. “Okay, you have to promise not to tell anyone.” 

Just as Blaine was about to confess the secrets of his weekend to Tina, Sam arrived and grabbed Blaine’s shoulders as he sat behind him, pulling himself so that his face was between his two closest friends. “Promise not to tell anyone what?” 

Blaine blushed as Sam arrived, completely forgetting that Sam already knew most of the details of his newly established...whatever he had with Sebastian. Maybe it was nothing at all since Sebastian never reached out to him after he dropped Blaine off. “I was just going to tell Tina the stuff about Sebastian,” Blaine admitted, hesitantly glancing toward Tina. 

Tina’s eyes widened as she looked between Blaine and Sam. “What about Sebastian? And you already told Sam?” She looked offended. Blaine figured Tina would be upset about him talking to Sam first, but it just kind of happened, and it didn’t seem like such a big deal at the time. He had no idea what was going on with Sebastian or if it was anything at all, so he didn’t see a reason to blow it out of proportion by shouting it from the rooftops. 

“Look, it’s nothing. I went out drinking with Sebastian on Friday, that’s all,” Blaine offered, hoping the explanation would suffice for Tina. 

He knew better than that, though. “Wait so you’re texting with him again?” 

Sam immediately turned his attention to Blaine. “Dude, you didn’t tell me you were texting with him now, too. What’s he saying?” Sam reached for Blaine’s phone, but he pulled it back before Sam had the chance to read anything. 

“No, we’re not texting. Chill out,” Blaine insisted, shoving his phone into his pocket. “That’s sort of the problem. I figured after that night he would text me or something, but he hasn’t and it’s just kind of weird. I mean, I stopped talking to him when Kurt asked me to, and this was the first time we really talked since like May. I guess I thought we could be friends again, but it seems like that’s not what he wants.” 

Tina stared at Blaine in disbelief. “I’m so confused. You’re hanging out with the guy that almost blinded you last year? Have you lost your mind?” 

Sam nudged Tina before she finished speaking. “Dude, let him be.” 

“Don’t ‘dude’ me. Sebastian is a horrible person. He tried to break you and Kurt up, then he almost blinded you with a rock salt slushy and basically turned all of the Warblers against us, then he tried to get Rachel to drop out of regionals. He’s not a nice guy,” Tina insisted, still staring at Sam and Blaine in disbelief that they could possibly think Blaine spending time with him was a good idea. 

“Look, either way it doesn’t matter. He’s not talking to me, so it seems like the friendship was short lived,” Blaine shrugged and turned his attention to the front of the room, waiting for Finn to walk through the doors. 

Tina crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. “Blaine Warbler, we are not done talking about this.” 

Blaine couldn’t help but roll his eyes. As Finn finally arrived in the choir room, Sam leaned forward again and whispered to Blaine so that Tina couldn’t hear. “Why don’t you just text him? This is 2012; texting rules are overrated.” 

“It’s not that, it’s just that I think locking him out of my life for six months probably did some damage to our friendship and I doubt he wants to open all of that up again after the way I treated him,” Blaine shrugged, still trying to keep his voice down so Tina wouldn’t hear. 

Sam shook his head. “No way. That’s definitely not it. Look, whatever it is, just do what you want. I liked the fun Blaine I heard on my voicemail Friday night.” Sam leaned back in his chair as Finn began to talk about his plans for Grease. Blaine tried to listen, but he couldn’t help but focus on Sam’s lingering words. Sure, “just do what you want” is simple enough, but not when he didn’t know what he wanted. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Blane knew he wanted Kurt back. But the introduction of Sebastian to the mix confused him more than it should have. 

Glee rehearsal ran longer than usual which was normal for the fall musical. They had extra work to do so Finn kept them around as long as he could. After rehearsal, Blaine tried his best to escape the choir room without Tina following him. He noticed her hot on his heels until she saw Mike approaching them from down the hallway. Luckily, Tina wanted to avoid Mike even more than she wanted to interrogate Blaine, so she almost ran the other way when she saw Mike coming. Unfortunately, that meant Blaine had to offer some explanation to Mike. “Hey Blaine. Why does Tina keep running away from me?” 

Blaine sighed, wishing he could just leave and Tina could figure out her thing with Mike without him. At least Tina’s ex wanted to talk to her. “She just doesn’t want to deal with the breakup. I personally don’t get it because I would jump on any opportunity to speak to my ex right now, but who knows.” He shrugged and tried to keep walking, but Mike stopped him. 

“Wait, I wanted to say sorry about the breakup with Kurt. That must’ve been hard.” Mike gave Blaine a sympathetic look and rested his hand on Blaine’s arm. 

Blaine felt weird for even mentioning Kurt to Mike and figured that he definitely overshared when all Mike asked was a simple question but didn’t feel like overanalyzing the situation anymore. He just wanted to get home and escape the constant questions of everyone around him. “Yeah, it is.” Blaine couldn’t think of anything else to say about it. He hoped his short answer would let Mike know he didn’t feel like catching up. 

“Well, if you need to talk about anything, I’m around. Although I’m sure Tina’s got that covered.” Mike laughed a little, but Blaine could see the sadness in his eyes. Clearly Mike and Tina were meant to be together. “Who knows? Maybe Kurt will come back for the show.” 

The thought of Kurt coming back for Grease never occurred to Blaine. He knew Kurt was short on cash after he moved to New York so he never thought he would waste his money on a trip back to Lima for the school musical, but maybe he actually would see Kurt next week after all. “Maybe,” Blaine nodded, suddenly hoping for something he knew would never happen. 

“I’m gonna try to find Tina, but text me if there’s anything I can help with. I know Teen Angel isn’t a very intense dance role and you’ve never really needed much help in that department, but I mean personal things, too. I’ll be around for a little while since I’m on fall break,” Mike smiled as he started to walk away from Blaine and toward the hall Tina disappeared into. Blaine had to admit it made him smile to hear Mike’s words. He and Mike never got close in high school, but Blaine did get close with some of the other glee guys at the end of their senior year. All of the days helping Puck study brought him closer to them. 

Unfortunately, his conversation with Mike had some negative consequences. Suddenly, Blaine was right back to thinking about Kurt nonstop. He opened his phone when he finally arrived at his house after a long day at school. He started scrolling through his recent texts with Kurt to see if another attempt at communication would be too much. 

_Kurt, I’m so sorry. Please call me. We need to talk about this. -Blaine_

_It’s been over a week. Can we please just have a conversation about this? I don’t feel like we even talked about what happened. -Blaine_

_Is this how it’s really going to end, Kurt? Two years and this is what we have to show for it? -Blaine_

_Okay, I’m sorry, I know it’s my fault and I shouldn’t expect anything from you, especially your forgiveness. I just really want you to understand what I was going through and I really want to explain exactly what happened. -Blaine_

_Come on, Kurt. Please. -Blaine_

_Okay now it’s been two weeks. Why can’t you just call me? I’m going crazy. -Blaine_

_I love you, Kurt. I’m never going to doubt again that we’re meant to be together. I knew it as soon as it happened. Please just talk to me. -Blaine_

Yep. It was definitely too many texts, but Blaine couldn’t help it. How was he just supposed to get over their relationship without even having a conversation about what happened? As he scrolled through the texts, he realized he needed to give it one more try. 

_I’m not going to stop texting until you give me a chance to explain. I love you so much. I’ll do anything to prove to you how much I love you. -Blaine_

For the first time, it felt as if it might really be over. If Kurt wouldn’t even give him the time of day to explain what happened, how could he expect Kurt to ever move on from this? He wished he could think about anything else, but Kurt was the only person on his mind. He decided to turn his phone off and practice Beauty School Dropout a few times until he could think about something, anything other than Kurt. 

Blaine fell asleep after four hours of homework and a few breaks in between to work on the song. Homework at McKinley never felt like much of anything at all compared to the workload he kept up with at Dalton, but ever since the breakup, Blaine could barely focus on anything. It took him an hour longer than usual just to complete a simple math assignment. He checked his phone one last time before going to bed, and of course, there was nothing from Kurt or Sebastian. He was starting to give up on hearing anything from either of them. 

When Blaine woke up Friday morning, he knew he needed something to change. He couldn’t sit around all day every day waiting to hear from Kurt. Or even Sebastian, who he finally realized was just a distraction from the pain he felt over the breakup. He had no real feelings attached to his friendship with Sebastian anymore, so he must have just been trying to find something that would get his mind off of Kurt...right? 

Friday felt like any other day of pining over Kurt and waiting to hear something from him while he pretended to be okay all through glee rehearsal. It was almost tech week for Grease, and he figured if Kurt hadn’t texted him yet to let him know he was coming back for the show, he probably wouldn’t. 

It was Sam who finally convinced Blaine he needed to text Sebastian. Blaine was sitting in the auditorium while Marley rehearsed the staging for “It’s Raining on Prom Night” when Sam sat down next to him. Most of the other glee kids had left to get dinner when they realized they would be staying at rehearsal until late, so it was just Sam and Blaine in the auditorium sitting a few rows back from where Finn stood next to Artie watching Marley belt out the song. “What’s with the long face?” Sam asked, tossing Blaine a bag from Taco Bell when he sat down. 

“I said I wasn’t hungry,” Blaine handed the bag back to Sam. 

Sam shook his head and shoved the bag back toward Blaine. “Dude, I got you those cinnamon bite things you like. You totally are hungry.” 

Blaine rolled his eyes and pulled a taco out of the bag. “Thanks.” He gave Sam a half-hearted smile and took a bite of his taco. “So, are you gonna tell me what you’re upset about now?” 

Blaine wished Sam would just let him be miserable in peace, but he knew he was just trying to help, and he honestly appreciated that Sam had his back throughout the whole breakup. “Just stuff with Kurt.” 

“You gotta give me more than that. You know I can be super helpful if you tell me what’s going on, but I need to know exactly what you’re talking about before I can give my rockstar advice,” Sam reminded him. Blaine knew this but hoped Sam would’ve been able to pick up on what he was feeling, just this one time. 

“I’m starting to think he might just ignore me forever.” Blaine sighed as he tried to focus on enjoying his taco. 

Sam shook his head and reached for Blaine’s phone. “I know you don’t want me to say it again, but I’m going to anyway. I think you should text Sebastian. I don’t know what it is about that guy, but it seems like he’s the only one who got your mind off of Kurt, even if it was just for a second. That whole night during Star Wars last weekend, you kept talking about him, and it’s the first time in weeks I’ve heard you talk about anything other than Kurt. I just want you to stop feeling so sad all the time and start living again.” 

This was the first time Blaine really understood why Sam cared so much about him rekindling his friendship with Sebastian. After all, Sebastian was always his escape from his problems with Kurt, even when they were still dating. It wasn’t until Kurt forced him to shut Sebastian out that Blaine realized how much he used to confide in the Warblers, especially Sebastian. “Maybe you’re right.” 

“I’m always right. You should take my advice more often.” Sam gave Blaine a playful nudge before stuffing the remainder of his taco into his mouth. After Sam finished eating, Finn called for everyone who was supposed to be on stage during Born to Hand Jive to get on stage so they could practice the choreography. 

Blaine remained in his seat, realizing how pointless some of these rehearsals were for him. His song was coming up next, so at least he had something to look forward to. Still, he kept thinking about texting Sebastian long after Sam left him sitting alone. It no longer seemed like a big deal, especially after all of the many texts he sent to Kurt. At worst, Sebastian would ignore Blaine and he could go back to the way things were before he ran into him at the Lima Bean. 

Finally, Blaine reached for his phone and opened it to his contacts. Right as he clicked the “message” icon under Sebastian’s name, the other boy’s name appeared on his phone in a notification. 

_Notification from Facebook: Sebastian Smythe sent you a friend request._

Really? Not even a text? Just a stupid friend request? Blaine rolled his eyes at how ridiculous he felt for getting excited over a stupid friend request. If anything, the request made him feel guilty for unfriending Sebastian in the first place. He tried to wait to accept the request so it didn’t seem like Blaine was as desperate as he actually was to resume contact with Sebastian, but he couldn’t help it. He clicked on the notification and accepted the friend request. Like clockwork, Sebastian sent him a text. 

_Wow, and here I was thinking you’d forgotten about me ;) -Sebastian_

Same old Sebastian. Blaine couldn’t help but smile at the message. It felt so typical Sebastian that Blaine felt stupid for worrying he might have burned the bridge between them forever. Why would Sebastian even care about Blaine ending their friendship all those months ago? Blaine was stupid to think he played that big of a role in Sebastian’s life. 

_How could I forget? My throbbing headache the entirety of last weekend was a constant reminder. -Blaine_

He grinned at his response, thankful he finally felt like he could once again fire a smart response back at Sebastian instead of going speechless whenever Sebastian flirted with him. He was a little out of practice, but it brought him right back to the feelings he used to get when texting with Sebastian before Kurt made him stop. Yep, this is exactly why Kurt made him stop. 

_Ah so the headache eventually disappeared then? I’m glad you don’t have permanent brain damage from all that tequila. -Sebastian_

Blaine grinned at the text, so grateful that things didn’t feel weird between them. Before he could think through a clever response, Sebastian texted again. 

_Maybe you need another refresher. How about tomorrow night? ;) -Sebastian_

For a moment, Blaine almost texted back accepting the offer. But he knew he shouldn’t get in the habit of drinking to get his mind off of his problems. Plus, he had rehearsals for Grease all weekend. 

_Can’t. I have rehearsal :( -Blaine_

He thought for a long time before adding the sad face. It felt like too much and he wished he had left it out, but he couldn’t take it back now. For a bit, he even considered skipping rehearsal to hang out with Sebastian. Throwing himself into Grease clearly wasn’t working when he had such a small role so getting away for a while might have been nice. Plus, he hated being the guy that offered the most basic theatre kid excuse. But he knew he shouldn’t bail on the glee club for Sebastian. They would never understand. 

_Till when? -Sebastian_

_Probably late. It’ll be our first full dress rehearsal and Finn’s directing. He still doesn’t really know what he’s doing so it could easily go as late as 10. -Blaine_

_I could come over after. That way you don’t have to drive too far. -Sebastian_

Blaine was surprised at Sebastian’s persistence to spend time with him. He figured it would be weeks before he saw him again with all the chaos of the show. Instead, Sebastian seemed to be willing to do anything he could to get Blaine to agree. How could he refuse? 

_I guess if you really want to, I’m not gonna lock you out of my house or anything ;) -Blaine_

It felt a little too forward, especially for Blaine. He always tried to hold back a little when texting with Sebastian because he knew if Kurt picked up on Blaine flirting back, it would cause way more problems than it was worth. Now Blaine figured there was no harm in leaning into Sebastian’s flirtations, at least a little bit. It wasn’t that he wanted anything out of it, but rather that he enjoyed the act of flirting and missed the attention. 

Sebastian didn’t text back that night. Blaine assumed he wanted to wait a while before he texted to build up the anticipation, which is something he sometimes did to ensure Blaine would be thinking about him. But the text never came that night and when Blaine woke up the next morning to go to rehearsal, there was no text for him either. He thought Sebastian might have changed his mind about coming over or maybe he was just joking about his suggestion and Blaine was stupid for joking back. 

Either way, Blaine couldn’t stop thinking about what he would find when he returned home after rehearsal. The day seemed to drag on as Blaine sat in the audience watching everyone else sing except for him. He kept reminding himself that he chose this; he chose to play Teen Angel instead of the male lead. But it still sucked to sit around all day just to perform one song a couple times. He noticed Mike and Tina talking at one point, so at least that was something, but he still just wanted to go home. 

Finn and Artie finally decided everyone had worked hard enough for one day after they finished two full dress rehearsals of the show and a couple run throughs of the bows. Sam wished him luck on their way out to the parking lot, whatever that meant. It was 10:15 by the time Blaine got into his car and started to drive home from school. For a Saturday, it really sucked to be at McKinley for almost 10 hours straight. He never used to mind late nights at Dalton with the Warblers, but this just felt wrong. There was so much drama within the New Directions right now because of the stupid love triangle between Kitty, Marley, and Jake...and maybe Ryder, too. Plus, Mike and Tina were barely speaking which made dance rehearsals both entertaining and exhausting. On top of all that, Unique was barely showing up to rehearsals anymore, but nobody had any idea why. 

When Blaine finally pulled out of the parking lot, he was grateful to escape the halls of McKinley, even if he only had one day off before he had to return to school. The whole drive home, Blaine could only think about one thing: Sebastian. Would he find Sebastian’s car parked outside his house when he turned onto his street? His hands were shaking at the thought. He didn’t think Sebastian would actually be there, but he couldn’t help but hope that he was. Damn, this friendship was confusing. He never got this excited or nervous about hanging out with Sam. Part of him knew that now that he didn’t have Kurt as an excuse, he couldn’t deny his attraction to Sebastian anymore. But he also knew it was just a physical attraction and satisfying whatever desires he had for Sebastian wouldn’t solve his problems with Kurt. So it was stupid to even think about it...right? 

Blaine didn’t realize he was holding his breath until he turned onto his street and saw a car parked on the street in front of his house. Sebastian had only been to Blaine’s house once for a couple of hours to help Blaine put together a performance for a nursing home gig he got a couple weeks after sectionals the previous year. He was kind of surprised that Sebastian even remembered the address. He tried not to question it as he parked his car in the driveway and waited for Sebastian to get out and follow Blaine to the door. “Wow, you weren’t kidding. I thought your comment about Finn was just a ploy to get me here late at night.” Sebastian winked when Blaine reached for the handle to his front door. 

“Nope, Finn just really wants the show to be perfect,” Blaine shrugged as he turned his key in the door and started to open it. Sebastian’s expression quickly turned into a frown. “Wait, are your parents home?” 

Blaine had no idea why Sebastian would mention his parents at all. It’s not like they were hooking up and he had to keep it a secret from his parents. They were just hanging out as friends, right? To be honest, Blaine didn’t think much about what would happen when Sebastian came over. Maybe that is what Sebastian thought this was. Or maybe Sebastian was afraid of meeting Blaine’s parents and Blaine was panicking over nothing. “Yeah, my mom is, but she’s probably in her room by now, which is on the other side of the house. Dad’s on a business trip.” He didn’t know why he felt the need to clarify his mom wouldn’t be snooping on them. It’s as if he was trying to eliminate any possible excuse he could use later in the night, which he realized might be a horrible idea. 

Sebastian followed Blaine up to his room, but he stopped in the hallway before they reached the room. “Hey, do you mind if I use your bathroom? You kept me waiting too long,” Sebastian said, half joking. 

“Yeah of course. My room is down the hall on the right so you can just come in when you’re done.” Blaine nodded toward the door to the bathroom so Sebastian would know where to go. He figured Sebastian wouldn’t remember the specific details of his house from the last time. Sebastian walked into the bathroom and Blaine rushed toward his room. He had completely forgotten about a few somewhat awkward details in his room. There were pictures of Kurt all over, blatantly obvious on Blaine’s bedside table. Suddenly, it felt like there were little reminders of Kurt all over his room and he started to worry that Sebastian might find it creepy or pathetic. He didn’t know why, but he felt the need to hide the photos from Sebastian. He shoved them into the drawer in his nightstand and hoped for the best. 

Just as Blaine finished hiding the remnants of Kurt’s image from the room, Sebastian walked through the door and quietly shut it behind him. “I think our moms would get along. Your bathroom looks a lot like mine at our house in Paris,” Sebastian said as he made his way toward where Blaine sat on the bed. “No personal touches, just looks like it’s right out of a catalog.” 

Blaine nodded along, knowing exactly what Sebastian meant. “My mom’s not a very personal person.” 

“Neither is mine,” Sebastian agreed. He took a seat next to Blaine, so close that their legs were almost touching. Blaine didn’t know why he was freaking out so much; they had sat this close together so many times before. Somehow this time felt different, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on why. “It looks different than the last time I was in here,” Sebastian said, looking around the room. 

“Well it has been almost a year since you came here last,” Blaine reminded him. “I’m sure I’ve changed things a little bit since then.” Yeah, there weren’t pictures of Kurt everywhere anymore. 

Sebastian’s gaze turned to Blaine as he continued the conversation. “A lot has changed since then.” 

Their eyes lingered on each other for a long time until Blaine finally broke the silence. “When was it that you came over? I barely remember anything from back then,” Blaine lied, trying to play it off as something he didn’t think about that often. Of course, at the time, Blaine didn’t feel the need to hide his pictures of Kurt or try to play along with all of Sebastian’s flirty comments. But now he spent a lot more time thinking about the little parts of his friendship with Sebastian that he never thought twice about when he was actually spending a lot of time talking to him. 

“It was two weeks after your sectionals, three weeks after mine. You had a gig somewhere, maybe a nursing home or a fundraiser or something like that. You picked She Will Be Loved because I told you my first crush was Adam Levine.” Sebastian grinned at the memory. Blaine remembered the whole day, too, but he was surprised Sebastian still knew all of the details. Maybe Sebastian cared about their friendship more than Blaine thought. 

Blaine watched Sebastian as he spoke about the day and his lips turned into a small smile. Sebastian must have noticed the change in Blaine’s lips because he noticed Sebastian start watching them more closely. Part of Blaine really wanted to know what it would be like to kiss him now that there were no boundaries between them. Well, no technical boundaries. He still didn’t want to ruin their newfound friendship or his chances of getting back together with Kurt over a kiss. Still, he couldn’t help but watch Sebastian’s eyes as he stared at Blaine’s lips. “You should come see the show,” Blaine blurted out, trying to distract himself from the temptation. “Grease, I mean. I have a pretty small part, but the show is really good.” 

Sebastian’s eyes pulled away from Blaine’s lips as soon as he spoke. Blaine felt so stupid for inviting Sebastian over, or rather, letting Sebastian come over after he invited himself. He knew this was going to happen; he knew he would be tempted to do something if he got this close to Sebastian alone. “Of course I’ll come,” Sebastian agreed. “Wait, why are you not Danny Zuko? You’re the obvious choice, especially now with your joke of a male lead gone.” 

“Finn?” Blaine clarified. Sebastian responded with a nod. “Yeah, they offered me the role, but I turned it down. I haven’t really been up to it lately with the breakup and stuff.” 

Sebastian’s body turned to fully face Blaine. “It’s been weeks since the breakup and he’s still controlling you. You still think I’m making it up?” Blaine hated it when Sebastian assumed he understood his relationship with Kurt. Any distant hope of them kissing disappeared with that comment. It hurt even more now knowing that he and Kurt probably wouldn’t be getting back together. 

“Will you please stop doing that?” Blaine asked, sighing out of exhaustion. He fell back onto his bed, too tired of having conversations about this to stay sitting up. 

Sebastian laid back on the bed next to Blaine, propping himself up on his elbow to maintain eye contact. “Come on, you and I both know you’re better than this. What happened to the guy who killed it as Tony in West Side Story last year? Or the guy that led the Warblers to several very large trophies?” 

Blaine stared at his ceiling, avoiding Sebastian’s stare. “I don’t know,” he mumbled under his breath. “I guess he fell in love.” 

Sebastian reached his hand for Blaine’s cheek and slowly pulled Blaine’s face toward him until he finally looked him in the eyes. “Love makes you do crazy things. You really think it’s worth it?” 

“Yeah, I do,” Blaine insisted, frowning at Sebastian’s doubt. 

“Prove it,” Sebastian demanded, his voice softening with every word. 

This time, Blaine found himself staring at Sebastian’s lips. He couldn’t figure out why, but he wanted to reach up and kiss him so bad. His big green eyes staring down at Blaine with that devilish smirk were kryptonite. Blaine didn’t think he made the move himself, but suddenly Sebastian’s lips were on his and his hand was holding tightly onto Blaine’s as he held Blaine’s body on the bed. Out of instinct, Blaine’s hand reached for Sebastian’s hair and he started to deepen the kiss, pulling Sebastian closer to him. Blaine couldn’t help but think of Kurt. Other than his random hookup with Eli, this was the first time in two years that he kissed anyone other than Kurt. It still felt like he was cheating as Sebastian’s body slowly moved on top of Blaine’s and the kiss continued, Sebastian’s tongue nervously pushing forward into Blaine’s mouth. 

Blaine couldn’t believe this was happening. He hated to admit it, but he fantasized about this moment all the time when he and Sebastian first met. Sebastian’s hand venturing beneath Blaine’s shirt, Blaine tugging on the hem of Sebastian’s shirt while they both got lost in the passion of their first kiss. To Blaine’s surprise, it was Sebastian who pulled away first. He sat up on Blaine’s bed and turned his eyes away from Blaine, staring straight forward at a piece of art that hung on Blaine’s wall. 

When Sebastian pulled away, Blaine sat up as well and tried to figure out what happened. Did he do something wrong? Did Blaine also want the kiss to end? Did he subconsciously push Sebastian away to avoid making a mistake? “It’s never going to be right,” Sebastian mumbled to himself, his eyes so far away from Blaine that he couldn’t figure out any of what Sebastian was thinking. 

“What are you talking about?” Blaine asked, sitting up and reaching for Sebastian’s hand. He started to panic at Sebastian’s words. What did he do that made him feel like it wasn’t “right”? That kiss felt amazing to him. 

Sebastian stood up and started to adjust his shirt as he stared at himself in a large mirror that hung in Blaine’s room. “I don’t want to be…” 

Blaine could tell Sebastian needed to get something off his chest, so he stood up and started to walk toward him. “Sebastian, what’s going on?” 

“I just…” Sebastian’s eyes looked lost. Blaine had never seen him so distraught and at a loss for words. Sebastian always had this confident bubble of prep school charm following him around. Without it, he just looked scared. “It’s stupid. You’re never gonna get it.” Blaine stared at Sebastian’s back as he stood facing the other way, avoiding looking back at him. “Tell me that when...when I kissed you, tell me that you didn’t think about Kurt.” Sebastian finally turned to face Blaine, desperately wishing Blaine would deny it. Instead, Blaine stared back at Sebastian in disbelief that he got himself into this situation, making out with another guy when he clearly wasn’t over Kurt. Making out with Sebastian of all people. Kurt would hate it. If Kurt found out, that would be the end of any chance of the two of them getting back together. Sebastian read Blaine’s facial expressions knowingly, wishing he didn’t understand Blaine as well as he did. “I’m gonna head out.” He started to move toward the door to Blaine’s bedroom and as he reached for the doorknob, Blaine grabbed his hand. 

“Wait,” Blaine insisted, forcing Sebastian’s eyes back onto him. “I haven’t really been with anyone other than Kurt in... a really long time. When I cheated on him it felt awful because I knew I did something wrong. He was the only guy I’ve ever slept with other than Kurt. We were together for a long time. Why does it matter if I’m thinking about all of that?” 

Sebastian shook his head as he leaned back against the door. “The fact that you don’t know just proves my point. You’re never going to understand.” 

“Understand what?” Blaine asked, frustrated with all of Sebastian’s non-answers. 

“You don’t want anything from me, Blaine.” Sebastian shook his head as he looked away from Blaine once again. 

Blaine reached for Sebastian’s cheek and turned it so that Sebastian would be forced to look him in the eye. “I want you to be my friend.” 

“So let me be your friend. Don’t make it into something that it’s not,” Sebastian finally opened the door to Blaine’s room and stepped out into the hall. “I’ll see you on opening night.” He disappeared down the stairs within a few seconds, leaving Blaine distraught at the sudden change of events. A minute ago, they were on Blaine’s bed making out and now they weren’t even speaking. 

He couldn’t figure out any of what Sebastian meant. How could he so easily see through Blaine and understand Blaine’s exact thoughts about Kurt and what was going through his mind during the kiss while Blaine couldn’t even figure out the meaning of Sebastian’s simplest of comments? He just wished Sebastian would volunteer more. He needed something, anything that would tell Blaine even a fraction of what was on Sebastian’s mind. 

The conversation played out in Blaine’s mind again and again. It’s never going to be right. You’re never gonna get it. You don’t want anything from me. Don’t make it into something it’s not. What did all of that mean? Why did Sebastian flirt with him nonstop only to pull away the moment Blaine started showing interest? Was he just messing with his head? 

It made Blaine start to overthink every word Sebastian said that night. It’s never going to be right. If he and Kurt broke up, what was wrong about it now? Wasn’t Sebastian the one who said they could fool around and not tell Kurt when they first met? Since when did Sebastian care about what’s right? Or maybe it didn’t feel right because the kiss was bad. But if that’s the case, why did it feel so good for Blaine? 

You’re never gonna get it. Get what? Get why Sebastian interrupted a perfectly good kiss and started rambling nonsense before leaving Blaine speechless in the middle of the night? Yeah, Sebastian was right about that, he’s not going to get it. 

You don’t want anything from me. This is the one Blaine understood the least. He had no idea what direction Sebastian was taking that conversation. Want anything romantically? Want friendship? Want anything? What did that mean? Clearly Blaine wanted something, or he wouldn’t have let Sebastian back into his life. He just didn’t know what Sebastian wanted. And he didn’t know the specifics of what he wanted either, but at least he knew he wanted something. 

Don’t make it into something it’s not. What was Blaine making it into? What is it if it’s not what Blaine thought it was? Their relationship was always like this; a little bit more than friends but never crossing the line to make it something else. They’d come so close to kissing the year before, numerous times if Blaine was being honest with himself. This just felt natural, like without Kurt around, this is what they were supposed to. 

He kept hearing these words over and over in his head and he couldn’t find any resolution to all of the questions consuming his brain. He needed to fall asleep and forget about the craziness that transpired between him and Sebastian. He never expected that the craziest part of his interaction with Sebastian wouldn’t be the kiss. 

Somehow, Sebastian left Blaine that night feeling even more confused than he was before. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of your continued support! As promised, I'm here a week later with another chapter. Please continue to give feedback; I love hearing from all of you! Enjoy the new chapter :)

Tech week passed by slowly as Blaine spent every night at school until at least nine. He hated not eating dinner or getting to work on homework until that late at night, but he knew it would all be worth it come opening night. He hoped Sebastian would still be there like he promised he would, but part of him doubted that he actually meant his promise. After all, their last conversation was pretty weird and most of their texts throughout the week were superficial at best. The flirty banter was reduced to a minimum as they both spent the week focusing on different things. Of course, now that they shared that amazing kiss and had that terribly awkward conversation afterward, so much of the fun involved in the flirty banter turned into stress. Blaine didn’t want to think about what Sebastian’s comments meant anymore. 

Plus, most of Blaine’s thoughts still revolved around Kurt. He needed to see him. He needed to know if they even had a chance. He made it through the week only texting Kurt twice and trying to call him once...although that didn’t include his two attempted Skype calls. He tried to distance himself in case space is what Kurt needed, but it felt like if he stopped, Kurt might see it as Blaine giving up on their relationship. 

He decided not to tell Sam or Tina about the kiss. He didn’t want to overcomplicate things and he figured that their conversation after the kiss probably meant it wouldn’t be happening again, so why worry about it? He and Sebastian could just be friends again. That’s all he wanted anyway, right? No matter how good of a kiss it was, he was still in love with Kurt, and he had to prioritize getting Kurt back. 

By the time opening night arrived, Blaine could have sworn he sang “Beauty School Dropout” more than anyone ever had. He needed to nail that song if it was his only chance to shine in the school musical. He arrived at McKinley an hour before curtain to change into his costume. The doors opened a half hour before the show, so he had plenty of time to make sure he was ready before the performance. 

While Blaine sat at a vanity in the auditorium fixing his makeup for the performance, he received a text from Sebastian. 

_Hey, Killer. Come find me :) -Sebastian_

Blaine figured it couldn’t hurt to leave for a bit since he still had 20 minutes until showtime. Plus, his song wasn’t until after intermission so it would be fine if he didn’t make it backstage until late. He left the auditorium and wandered into the hallway. He should’ve known Sebastian wouldn’t be out in the open somewhere. He eventually found him in the courtyard sitting by himself while he looked over the program. “Teen Angel, huh?” Sebastian asked. 

He had no idea how Sebastian knew he was there if he never looked up from the program, but he didn’t worry too much about it. He sat down next to him at the table and glanced at the program. “Beauty School Dropout is a fantastic song,” Blaine defended. 

“Hey, I didn’t say anything about it.” Sebastian held his hands up in defense. “You look good in all white. You’re totally the angel to my devil.” He winked at Blaine and Blaine couldn’t help but blush at the joke. 

“I didn’t think you’d be into that kind of thing,” Blaine shrugged. 

Sebastian’s lips rose into his signature smirk. “I could be into a lot of things for you, Killer.” 

Blaine bit his lip as he thought about the comment. He wished he could fire back with an equally flirty comment, but it never came as naturally to him as it did to Sebastian. “I should get going. Curtain’s in 10 minutes.” 

Sebastian nodded as he stood up and reached for Blaine’s hand to help him up from the chair. “Break a leg, then. I’ll see you after the show?” 

There was a bit of hesitation in the question that Blaine couldn’t quite understand, but he did want to spend time talking to Sebastian after the show. After being around him even just for a few moments, he was reminded of all of the ominous comments Sebastian made the weekend before and he wanted to know the truth. “Yeah, I can meet you outside the auditorium,” Blaine agreed. He walked away before he could say anything stupid. He needed to get backstage in time for Finn and Artie’s pre-show pep talk. 

Ever since transferring to McKinley, Blaine identified a small space in the auditorium where he would pump himself up before performances. Before sectionals, regionals, and West Side Story the previous year, he always disappeared into a small corner that was blocked off by a wall near one of the entrances to the backstage areas. 

While he was on his way to his favorite place to prepare for the show, Blaine couldn’t help but smile knowing someone was there to see him. Even if his parents couldn’t come to the show, he knew Sebastian was out in the audience with his beautiful green eyes, admiring Blaine’s performance no matter how short his song was. Someone was there just for him. However, as Tina and Sugar pushed forward a costume rack out of Blaine’s view, his feet stopped his body from moving on any further. The smile that took over his face after seeing Sebastian immediately shifted into a look of panic as his eyes widened and his jaw dropped. 

Kurt was here. He came. He came and he didn’t even text to say he was coming. He stood there next to Rachel with a sympathetic half-smile and his gorgeous wide-eyed expression. “Kurt?” Blaine asked, still trying to comprehend the site before his eyes. Even Kurt’s half-smile started to fade at the site of Blaine. His eyes shifted to the ground as Blaine continued speaking. “I-I didn’t think I’d see you this weekend.” 

Clearly Kurt didn’t feel like talking to him or he would’ve spoken up himself. Instead, Rachel placed a comforting hand on Kurt’s shoulder and spoke for him. “We wouldn’t miss it for the world. Would we, Kurt?” She glanced over at Kurt who mumbled a brief “no” and gave yet another half-smile to Blaine, still refusing to make eye contact with Blaine who just continued to stare back at him in shock. 

Blaine barely even noticed Finn approaching them until he let out an equally shocked, “Rachel?” 

As Rachel greeted Finn and the two made awkward small talk, Blaine’s eyes couldn’t help but focus on his ex-boyfriend, the boy he loved more than anything in this world who couldn’t even look at him. It made him feel so disrespected, so unworthy. Maybe Sebastian was right. Maybe love wasn’t worth it at all if this was what it felt like. Blaine finally looked away, unable to bring himself to feel the pain of Kurt’s avoidant eyes anymore. It just reminded Blaine of how much he hurt him, and he hated that constant sting in his heart. He had no idea how much worse it could get until he stood face to face with his ex. 

His deep thoughts and terrified expression came to a halt at the sound of Kurt’s voice. “Rachel has her first big audition for an off-Broadway show next week,” Kurt said, interrupting something Rachel had said that Blaine didn’t bother to listen to. It was hard enough for him to even be standing here right now. Blaine looked up in shock at hearing Kurt’s voice. This was the first time he spoke the entire conversation, and the first time Blaine heard his voice since the break-up. Well, if you don’t include all of the times Blaine called and got to hear Kurt’s voicemail. 

Finn offered Rachel his congratulations and Blaine tried his best to nod along, not really processing what Kurt said. He focused more on his voice, his expression as he finally joined in the conversation. Despite Kurt’s participation in the uncomfortable small talk, he still refused to look at Blaine. Blaine’s eyes once again stared at the other boy, desperately wishing for any hint of eye contact, any possible indication that Kurt cared. 

Rachel accepted Finn’s congratulation and Blaine’s eyes finally shifted to her, hoping she would offer some opportunity for him to get his mind off of Kurt. But who was he kidding? Rachel probably hated him now, too. 

Blaine maintained his gaze at Rachel, finally feeling a little less awkward because of how happy he was for his friend. Yet the second she finished her comment, Blaine looked back at Kurt only to find him staring right back. Of course, the second Blaine made eye contact with his ex-boyfriend, Kurt turned his eyes to the floor once again, transforming Blaine’s brief happy grin into a disappointed frown. The awkward silence returned, and Blaine felt Finn glancing around the circle as he stared at the ground. Blaine bit his lip, desperately wishing something would break the silence and they could go back to being inseparable again, spending every weekend going on double dates or having movie nights in the Hudson-Hummel house while both couples cuddled and tried to avoid getting caught by the others kissing during the movie. “Look, this is...this is really, really weird…” Finn finally acknowledged as Blaine awkwardly nodded along with him. “But the four of us have a lot of history between us, so I just wanna say…” He paused again, clearly still at a loss for words. Blaine just wished he could say anything at all. “It’s cool you came to see our show.” Rachel and Kurt both gave a half-hearted nod. “Pretty proud of it.” 

All Blaine could muster up was a nod as he finally looked back up at Rachel and Kurt, tears filling his eyes. No, don’t let them see you cry. Blaine kept his lips tucked together as he tried to work up the courage to say something, but he had accepted defeat. There was no way he and Kurt were going to talk that night. He could barely keep it together for this 30 second conversation without crying. He knew his eyes were starting to swell up in that way they always did before the tears started to fall and he could feel the lump in his throat desperately trying to escape. 

Finn turned away first to walk back to the rest of the cast while Blaine still remained with Kurt and Rachel, staring at his ex-boyfriend and wishing he would take him back. There were so many things to say, so many apologies to make. But Blaine couldn’t look much longer without sacrificing all of his dignity, so he started to turn away, only looking back for a second as he followed Finn to where the rest of the cast stood in a circle getting ready for the pre-show pep talk. He would need to give himself his pep talk at his secret spot later. 

The show went almost perfectly. When it came time for Blaine’s performance, he finally felt like he might be able to sing without bursting into tears. He just hoped he wouldn’t see Kurt in the audience. Luckily, for the beginning of the performance, Blaine found he could focus on Sugar just like he was supposed to. When his eyes finally ventured away from Sugar for a moment, he located Sebastian in the audience, and he felt himself relax a bit and actually start to enjoy the song. He kept glancing his way whenever the choreography allowed it. 

Unfortunately, when he sat next to Sugar, he couldn’t help but notice Kurt sitting in the fifth row in the auditorium. He tried not to let it impact his performance too much, but he felt his expression shift at the sight of Kurt once again looking away at any possibility for eye contact. He shook it off, realizing he needed to keep his focus on the performance. It was almost as if the second he glanced back at Sebastian, he had forgotten all about his minor slip up and remembered what he was supposed to be doing. 

The performance ended almost as quickly as it began and the curtains went down in front of him, signaling the end of Blaine’s brief appearance in the show. He disappeared backstage and made his way to the choir room, hoping he could calm himself down from the stress of seeing Kurt in the audience. He couldn’t believe how weird Kurt was being. He wouldn’t even look up at Blaine during the performance. 

For a while, Blaine thought about getting in his car and leaving. There was no reason he needed to be there anymore. Artie would be mad at him for missing bows, but Finn would understand. At the same time, Blaine knew how unprofessional it would be and he still cared about the show looking good, despite everything. He also thought he might as well gather his thoughts in case he got the chance to talk with Kurt after the show. He tried to think through what he could possibly say that would make this all okay. 

Before Blaine knew it, he still didn’t have the right words to say to Kurt and it was time for curtain call. He ran out on stage and did his bow, this time making sure he wouldn’t look anywhere near where Kurt was sitting. His saving grace was that Kurt wouldn’t be at any other performances and he could enjoy the rest of the shows without the distraction. 

When the bows concluded, Blaine found himself wandering around in the hall, searching to see if he could find Kurt anywhere. He had almost forgotten his promise to meet Sebastian after the show when Sebastian called after him. “Damn, who knew Teen Angel in a public school production of Grease could be so sexy?” 

Blaine blushed at the compliment, grateful for the distraction from his thoughts about Kurt. “Thanks.” 

Sebastian leaned in for a hug which ended relatively quickly when Blaine remembered where they were. Kurt or someone else could see them at any moment and it would ruin any chance of him getting back together with Blaine. 

Sebastian must have noticed Blaine’s hesitation because he looked offended at the brevity of the hug. “Assuming you didn’t know Kurt was going to be here?” Blaine shook his head. “I tried to avoid him, but it’s a small auditorium.” 

Blaine frowned, starting to panic that they talked. “Wait, did he say something to you?” 

“He didn’t have to,” Sebastian shook his head. “If looks could kill…” 

“I’m sorry,” Blaine mumbled out of obligation. “I had no idea he was coming back for this. I didn’t find out until a few minutes before curtain.” 

Sebastian reached for Blaine’s arm out of habit but pulled back before he actually touched him. “It’s cool. But something tells me he’s not going to be happy that I was here.” 

Blaine couldn’t help his embarrassment at the situation. He hoped Kurt didn’t notice it was Sebastian or assumed that Sebastian coming had nothing to do with Blaine. “Maybe he didn’t recognize you out of your uniform,” he suggested, sort of joking but secretly wishing it was true. 

“Looks like you’re about to find out.” Sebastian nodded toward the end of the hall where Kurt was standing with Rachel. Most of the hall had cleared but it seemed like Kurt didn’t even notice Blaine was there. “Go ahead.” 

Blaine didn’t wait another second after finally working up the courage to chase after Kurt and try to get some semblance of a conversation with him. He practically ran down the hall toward where Kurt and Rachel were standing. “Kurt, I need to talk to you,” he blurted out, hoping his blunt words wouldn’t send Kurt running away from him. 

Blaine looked at Rachel, hoping she would give them a moment to talk. “You okay?” Rachel whispered to Kurt. 

Kurt’s only response to Rachel was a faint nod as she left them alone and walked down the hall to wait for Kurt to leave with her. Despite Rachel finally leaving, Kurt still refused to look at Blaine. “I’m not interested,” he mumbled as he made his way down the hall. 

“I... I never told you about what happened. The guy that I hooked up with...I... I need you to know…” 

Before Blaine could continue, Kurt finally turned around and with his full voice, he asked Blaine, “What are you gonna to tell me? That it wasn’t serious? That you only made out? That you didn’t care about him?” “I didn’t care,” Blaine mumbled guiltily, trying to think of the words to justify what he did. 

“Do you think any of that matters to me?” He asked, staring back at Blaine as if he had done the worst possible thing. “Relationships are about trust,” he paused for emphasis, just like he always did when he needed to get his point across. “And I don’t trust you anymore.” Blaine’s eyes fell as he realized how much he messed up. “How could I when you still refuse to tell me the truth? Why’s Sebastian here? No, I don’t want to know.” Kurt turned away and started walking away again. 

Blaine continued chasing after him. “I was telling the truth, Kurt. It wasn’t him.” 

“I can’t trust you around him, Blaine. If anything, this just reaffirmed what I already thought all of last year. There’s a reason I asked you to stop talking to him. Now the second we broke up you went back to how things were before with him.” Kurt wasn’t yelling, but he definitely had some volume in his voice and tears filling his eyes. 

Blaine stared at him, trying to think of something he could say that would fix all of this. “Kurt, I’m telling the truth.” 

Kurt shook his head, positive that Blaine would never understand. “I was stupid to come back. Rachel’s right. This isn’t home anymore.” Kurt turned and continued walking away, leaving Blaine alone in the hall as he stared after him, confusion and hurt filling his eyes. 

He stood there alone for way longer than he should have. Part of him expected Sebastian to approach him again, but he also knew he didn’t have the energy to deal with him at the moment. He assumed Sebastian knew that, so he stayed away. He could’ve stood in that hallway all night reliving his conversation with Kurt over and over again until he figured out where he went wrong. In fact, he probably would have if he wasn’t interrupted by Sam grabbing him by the shoulders. “Dude, Artie has notes and stuff. We should get to the choir room.” When Blaine didn’t respond, Sam knew something was wrong. “What happened?” 

Blaine felt frozen. He tried to move but he couldn’t. “I... I don’t know.” 

“You know what will definitely make you feel better? Breadstix. We’re all going after the meeting in the choir room.” When Blaine still didn’t respond, Sam continued. “Look, if you don’t wanna talk about it, that’s fine. But please just come to the choir room.” 

After a few more seconds of staring down the hall at the doors Kurt walked through with Rachel only five minutes earlier, Blaine finally acknowledged that he needed to follow Sam to the choir room. They sat down next to each other and waited for the meeting to begin. 

As Artie rambled off an amazing review left on the show, Blaine couldn’t help but feel proud, even despite the tremendous guilt and hurt consuming his thoughts. He allowed himself to clap along with everyone else, knowing he shouldn’t let the happy in. He didn’t deserve to be happy after the way he treated Kurt. 

Blaine listened as Mr. Schue gave a heartwarming goodbye speech, but he couldn’t help but contemplate how he ended up here: a cheater playing a background role in an overdone musical at a high school he didn’t even want to go to, trying to push back tears as he imagined a life at McKinley without Kurt. As he held back tears, the idea of transferring back to Dalton consumed his thoughts. Maybe he wasn’t meant to be at McKinley after all. Maybe if he just stayed at Dalton, none of this would have happened. He and Kurt would have gotten used to being apart and they could have made Kurt’s leaving for New York work. 

He tried to shake the thought as Sam sat beside him, grabbing Blaine’s shoulder. “Are you coming?” Sam asked. Blaine barely noticed that everyone around them had already left the choir room except for a few lingering underclassmen who didn’t seem to be leaving anytime soon. When Blaine looked up at Sam, clearly confused, Sam must have realized that Blaine tuned out the end of the post-show discussion. “A bunch of people are hanging out at my place after Breadstix.” 

Blaine tried to think of a good excuse not to go, but he couldn’t come up with anything. “I honestly don’t feel up to it.” 

“Sebastian can come if you want,” Sam suggested. 

Blaine figured that Sam didn’t realize he just didn’t want to go at all. It had nothing to do with Sebastian or anyone else. Well, maybe it had something to do with Kurt. “Is Kurt staying there?” 

Sam looked away, wishing he could say no. “Yeah. I didn’t know when I planned the party. He and Rachel didn’t decide to come back until this morning and they flew in an hour before the show.” 

Blaine hesitated for a while, thinking over the implications of going to the party. He didn’t think Kurt would actually be there since it definitely didn’t seem like Kurt was in the mood to socialize with the rest of the glee kids. But he didn’t want to take that risk. Kurt certainly wouldn’t want to talk to Blaine and Blaine didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable in his own house. He was also positive that Burt wouldn’t want Blaine interfering with Kurt’s time at home, so he decided it was for the best to stay away. Plus, he wasn’t in much of a party mood after the events of the night. “I’ll think about it,” Blaine finally replied. He didn’t want to commit to not going because he didn’t want to upset his friend, but he also knew he probably wouldn’t end up at the Hudson-Hummel house that night. 

“Cool. I’m gonna head out so I can buy snacks and stuff, but feel better dude, okay?” Sam gave Blaine a playful nudge and left to change back into his normal clothes. 

After Sam left the choir room, Blaine sat in silence for a while, thinking over what he could have said or done differently to get Kurt to listen to him. He felt so defeated, so useless. If he couldn’t even get Kurt to have a conversation with him, how could he ever be a good boyfriend to him again? Blaine found himself staring at the walls in the choir room as he contemplated life. The tears stopped falling a while before he and Sam started talking, but he still felt that lump in his throat, just waiting for his body to collapse and succumb to the tears. 

“You sure don’t look like the guy that just stole the show.” Blaine looked up to find Sebastian and his classic smirk leaning against the door frame that made up the entrance to the choir room. He gave Blaine a wink while he waited for a response. 

Blaine tried his best to smile back, but it was hard for him to fake happiness, even if he was glad to find out Sebastian didn’t leave the second he saw Blaine talking to Kurt. “It’s been a weird night.” 

“Well you killed it in the show,” Sebastian said. He moved away from the door and started to step closer to Blaine. “Why do you look like you desperately need a drink?” 

Blaine didn’t feel like rehashing his entire night, especially since he figured Sebastian wouldn’t want to hear about all of his interactions with Kurt after what happened between them the week before. “The better question is why do you?” He noticed Sebastian’s usual spark was missing. He seemed different, not quite as happy-go-lucky and drunk on life as he normally was. 

Sebastian sighed and took a seat next to Blaine, leaning in close, just like he always did. “In case you’ve never experienced rejection, it’s not fun seeing the guy you want hung up on someone else.” 

Blaine looked over at Sebastian as the guilt resurfaced. “Yeah, the guy you want to hook up with.” He rolled his eyes and sunk back in his chair, wishing he didn’t feel so exhausted. 

“Is that what you think of me?” Sebastian frowned, maintaining his gaze into Blaine’s eyes. It was almost like Sebastian was actually offended, like Blaine assumed the worst possible thing without any merit to back it up. 

“Prove me wrong,” Blaine shrugged. “You used to tell me all kinds of hookup stories from Scandals and your boarding school in Paris. Why would I think I was any different?” Sebastian stared at Blaine in what looked like disbelief. This may have been the first time Blaine ever saw Sebastian completely speechless. It didn’t feel like Sebastian would say another word when he stood up and started to walk out of the room. “Where are you going?” 

Sebastian shook his head as he reached the door. “You’re clueless, Blaine.” 

Blaine’s eyebrows raised. He wasn’t sure if he should be offended or not. Clueless? What did he get wrong? “Wait,” Blaine almost shouted after Sebastian. He stood up and followed him to the door, reaching for Sebastian’s hand. “Can we just...can we just do something crazy tonight? Something fun? I just would really like to think about something other than Kurt and you...you always take me somewhere else.” 

“This is what I’m talking about, Blaine,” Sebastian insisted, playing with Blaine’s fingers as he held onto his hand. 

Once again, Blaine didn’t understand what Sebastian meant with all of this “you don’t get it” nonsense. Why did he have to get it himself? Why couldn’t Sebastian just tell him what the hell was going on with him? Still, Blaine didn’t have the energy to ask questions. “Please,” Blaine practically begged. He said the word in a weak whisper, hoping Sebastian would understand that he couldn’t deal with all of this deep talk that night. 

Sebastian thought about it for a moment, clearly dealing with an internal dilemma of his own, and then nodded. “Alright, fine. I have one idea. But you can’t tell anyone about this, okay?” 

Blaine smirked. This sounded exactly like the type of thing he needed to get his mind off of Kurt. He followed Sebastian through McKinley’s doors and to his car. He sat in the front seat and plugged his phone into the auxiliary port. “Shotgun gets the aux.” Blaine smirked as he looked through his music for the perfect song. “Oh, I got it.” 

It only took a second before Sebastian recognized the song. “No way, driver gets veto, skip it,” he demanded, reaching for Blaine’s phone. 

“Hey, eyes on the road!” Blaine laughed as he started to sing along with the song. It was “Sunday Morning” by Maroon 5 and Blaine knew it would drive Sebastian crazy. He basically serenaded Sebastian as they drove and laughed. Blaine definitely achieved his goal of making the other boy blush. Nothing made him as embarrassed as Blaine making fun of him for his first crush. “Come on, sing with me,” Blaine insisted, nudging Sebastian’s arm. For a while, Sebastian protested the request, but by the second refrain he couldn’t help but join in. 

As they both sang at the top of their lungs, Blaine knew he made the right choice to skip Sam’s party. There was nothing like driving on Lima roads late at night with the windows down and a cute guy. Nothing could break the awkward tension in their friendship like a little bit of music, especially since Maroon 5 is what got Sebastian out of his shell the first time they ever really talked about something more than superficial show choir related things. They found out quickly about their mutual love of Adam Levine and never failed to resort to discussion of that when conversations got awkward. “Hey, where are we going?” Blaine asked when the song ended and he noticed Sebastian getting on the highway. 

“Try to be a little spontaneous,” Sebastian smirked. He turned the music up when a new song came on and they both continued to sing all the way to their unknown destination. They managed to get through the entirety of Songs About Jane, the album that apparently was Sebastian’s sexual awakening, plus a few songs off of Blaine’s road trip playlist. 

They barely spoke the entire car ride because they were too busy singing, but Blaine knew he needed to say something when Sebastian finally exited off the highway. “So we’re going to Columbus? What are we doing here?” Blaine asked, curious about his plans for the night. It was already almost 11 by the time they took the exit so nothing would be open. 

“You’ll see,” Sebastian grinned. A few minutes later, they pulled into a long driveway with a gate out front that led to the largest house Blaine had ever seen. 

Blaine looked around as they finally reached the end of the driveway and Sebastian parked his car. “Wait are we breaking into a house?” He asked as he stepped out of the car. Of course Sebastian would be the one to drag him into some crazy illegal scheme. 

Sebastian walked up behind him with a smirk, unable to contain a laugh as he replied. “It’s my parents’ place. They’re out of town so we can do anything we want.” Blaine hesitated as he was distracted by the size of the mansion standing before him, but he tried to snap himself out of it when Sebastian started walking toward the front door. “Are you coming or what?” Blaine followed behind him and soon enough he stood inside the most beautiful house he’d ever seen. He suddenly couldn't wait to see the kind of things they could do in a house like that. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of the continued support of this story! I'm distracting myself from American politics today through writing so I hope you all enjoy this new update! :)

Sebastian followed closely behind Blaine as he wandered around the house in shock at how large it was. “Remind me why I’ve never been here?” Blaine asked, unable to take his eyes off of the huge entryway. It made sense, Blaine figured. If Sebastian’s family could afford the gorgeous penthouse in Paris that Sebastian never stopped talking about, then of course they could afford to live in a multimillion-dollar home in Columbus. Still, the sight was a lot to take in. 

They walked around until they reached the dining room. “My parents are assholes,” Sebastian shrugged in response to the other boy’s inquiry as he walked from the dining room into the kitchen. “It’s late but sometimes the cook leaves leftovers in the fridge just in case my parents come home early or something.” Blaine stared at the huge kitchen in awe. It was beautiful, with brand new appliances and gorgeous countertops. He assumed Sebastian’s parents never used it based on what he was hearing, but even as someone who wasn’t the best cook, he really wanted to make something in that kitchen. “Do you want cake?” Sebastian found half of a cake on display and was making himself a plate. “I think it was my sister’s birthday or something.” 

Almost speechless, the best Blaine could get out was a nod. He had so many questions about Sebastian’s family that he didn’t know where to begin and he didn’t want to bombard him with too much at once. “I could get used to this,” Blaine mumbled as Sebastian reached out with a plate for him. He followed Sebastian down the hall and into a room that housed a pool table, a formal poker table, a large lounge area, and a gorgeous wood-burning fireplace. There was also a small bar in the corner of the room that had Blaine wondering how many different rooms in this place had alcohol if just the billiard room had its own bar. 

“The Warblers have been here twice, I think. When my parents are out of town, I usually try to take advantage of all their crazy stuff...or rather, trash it,” Sebastian explained. 

Blaine turned to Sebastian in shock. “Trash it?” 

“Like I said, my parents are assholes.” He noticed Blaine’s eyes lingering on a small wine rack by the bar and smirked. “We’re not taking wine from there. If you want real wine, there’s a wine cellar downstairs. They’re ‘collectors’.” He said “collectors” with finger quotes and in one of the most mocking voices Blaine had ever heard him use. And that was saying something for Sebastian. 

Before Blaine could respond, Sebastian was leading him down another hallway and then down a large set of stairs that brought them into another very big space, complete with an indoor hot tub and a dedicated workout space. Down the hall was the wine cellar which probably held over a thousand bottles of wine, and that was without including the empty spaces. “Are you sure they wouldn’t mind? If they’re collectors, I mean…” 

“Like I said, I usually trash it. Plus, do you really think they know every single bottle of wine in here? My parents are all about the aesthetic; they like to keep all this crazy expensive famous wine down here, but they never drink any of it unless they have company they’re trying to impress. I probably know way more about wine than either of them and I’m 17. It’s stupid.” Sebastian shook his head and started scanning a particular section of wines. “These are our Bordeaux wines. Assuming you’re a cabernet guy?” Blaine didn’t respond; he was too shocked from all of the different bottles surrounding him. “Here, I think you’ll like this one.” Sebastian handed a bottle to Blaine and watched as Blaine stared back at him, unsure what to do with it until Sebastian also gave him a crystal wine glass and opened the bottle for him. “It’s all yours.” 

Blaine stared at the bottle in shock, suddenly eager to taste the wine Sebastian was so sure he would like. Maybe if they both had a bit of alcohol in their systems, they could finally talk about whatever it is they clearly needed to talk about. Maybe Blaine could finally figure out whatever it was that he “would never get”. As Blaine lifted the now full glass of wine to his lips, he closed his eyes to focus on the taste. “Wow, you’re right, this is fantastic.” 

“Well it’s aged like seven years so it better be good or we didn’t wait long enough,” Sebastian shrugged, pouring himself a glass of a different bottle he found. 

Blaine almost spit out his second sip when he heard Sebastian. “Are you serious? And you’re sure your parents won’t be upset?” 

“I doubt it. Plus, even if they are, it’s not like I’ll ever hear about it. I only really see them on holidays which are already miserable anyway. Either they’ll forget about it by Thanksgiving or they’ll add it to the long list of things to passive aggressively mention at our family dinner,” Sebastian shrugged. “Alright, how about I beat you in a game of pool?” 

By the time they finished their second round of pool, both boys were a little tipsy from all of the wine. Sebastian had almost finished a bottle already and Blaine was well on his way to finishing his as well. Despite Sebastian’s years of practice, Blaine was able to hold his own in the game, and the conversation remained light-hearted and playful for most of both games. When Sebastian finally won the second game after a long drawn out battle to get the last ball in, he grabbed Blaine’s hand and pulled him into what looked like a music room. “This room is awesome,” Blaine acknowledged. His eyes were drawn to the grand piano in the middle of the room and he couldn’t help but sit down on the bench and lift the keyboard cover. His fingers rested on the keys as he started playing the first song that felt right in the space. 

Sebastian watched as Blaine played the beginning chords to “Tiny Dancer” and started to sing the lyrics. He didn’t start singing along with Blaine, which was a little alarming because it felt like Blaine was putting on a show. The wine helped make him a little less nervous at the thought of a private show for Sebastian, but he still wondered why he wasn’t joining him. Halfway through the song, Sebastian took a seat next to him on the piano bench. “Come on, sing with me,” Blaine gave Sebastian a light shove during a brief instrumental and waited for him to join in. 

Finally, Sebastian decided to give in to Blaine’s request. Blaine knew he never would have joined him in his cheesy impromptu concert without the wine, but he appreciated it anyway. They belted out the last minute of the song together with their legs touching just enough to send shivers up Blaine’s spine. When the song ended, Blaine turned to face Sebastian with a smile on his face when he noticed Sebastian staring right back at him. “You’re amazing,” Sebastian complimented, before looking away again. 

For the first time in three hours, Kurt crossed Blaine’s mind. He never had this much fun with Kurt just singing. Of course, Kurt would never drink a full bottle of red wine with him and he certainly wasn’t the billiard room type of guy, either. Something about this night was exactly what Blaine needed. It showed him all of the things he was missing out on that he used to enjoy with the Warblers. “I used to sing with the Warblers all the time.” 

Sebastian stared at Blaine in disbelief, clearly confused. It did sound pretty stupid given the Warblers were literally an acapella choir. “How drunk are you?” 

“No, I mean impromptu performances at parties, breaking into song like this all the time. We would all hang out around the piano. I would play something and the others would sing. It was one of my favorite things about Dalton,” Blaine explained, staring at the piano keys. “I spent all of my weekends with them until I started dating Kurt. I stopped seeing the other guys almost completely after I transferred to McKinley.” 

Sebastian sighed and rested a hand on Blaine’s leg. “Yeah, I heard about that.” 

Blaine nodded slowly, trying to remember what it used to feel like to get lost in the music at Dalton with the guys. “They must hate me,” he mumbled. 

Sebastian immediately shook his head as he faced Blaine. “No, they would never hate you. Sure, they were pretty upset last year when you left. I showed up at Dalton and met a really broken team. But honestly, all any of them wanted was for you to come back. They idolize you.” 

“I should probably apologize to them.” 

“I’m surprised you didn’t do that already,” Sebastian frowned. It made Blaine regret leaving Dalton even more. Knowing how messed up everything got after he left...it never occurred to him that all of that happened because of him. He abandoned his friends...no, his brothers. It didn’t even occur to him until Kurt broke up with him that his reasoning for leaving was flawed at best. 

Blaine’s head fell, suddenly feeling defeated. “Maybe I should come back.” 

His eyes met Sebastian’s and they shared a moment of silence before Sebastian continued. “Look, as much as I would love for you to come back, the damage is done, and I’m worried you’d just be miserable if you came back.” 

Blaine’s eyebrows furrowed as he thought about what Sebastian was saying. He thought Sebastian would jump at the opportunity to convince him to come back to Dalton, but he didn’t seem persistent at all. “Something is wrong.” 

“What?” 

“You’re not trying to convince me to come back; something is going on at Dalton. What’s going on?” He asked, suddenly concerned for his friends at Dalton. There was something more. Some reason why Sebastian thought Blaine wouldn’t like it there anymore. 

When Sebastian realized he couldn’t avoid the question anymore, he stood up and started pacing around the room. Blaine could tell Sebastian had a little bit too much to drink because he normally wouldn’t be this honest. “You have to promise not to tell anyone at McKinley about it until I figure out what I’m gonna do. You’re the one person that I think might understand the position I’m in.” 

Blaine nodded as he waited for Sebastian to explain himself. “Of course.” 

Sebastian sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets, clearly worried about what would happen when he revealed the truth. “There’s this new guy at Dalton, Hunter.” Blaine had never seen Sebastian struggle this much to get words out. “He transferred from some military academy in Colorado where his show choir won regionals or something. He’s not a good guy, Blaine. The stuff I did last year...sorry about that, by the way…” 

“No, don’t, we’re way over all of that stuff,” Blaine insisted. 

Sebastian avoided eye contact. It almost seemed like he was embarrassed. Blaine had never seen him so upset. “Anyway, that stuff is nothing compared to Hunter. He’s ruthless and the Warblers have no idea what they’re supposed to do. I’ve been trying to lay low. You know, new leaf and all.” He paused, hesitation obvious in his voice. “But I need to do something. All of them keep coming to me and asking me to do something but I’m...well, I guess I’m scared of what will happen.” 

“Sebastian, what’s going on?” Blaine asked. He was suddenly very concerned. At first, it just seemed like the Warblers were worried about winning, or something that wasn’t severe, something that Blaine could easily fix. But now it seemed genuinely serious. 

Finally, Sebastian admitted what was really going on. “He’s making everyone take steroids. He wants them to do crazy flips and stuff, which a lot of the Warblers could do already, so it didn’t really make sense at first. But now it’s turned into this huge thing where he’s threatening to kick people out if they don’t do it. We’re all supposed to start doing it the week before sectionals.” 

Blaine couldn’t find the words to react to what Sebastian was telling him. There’s no way any of the guys he used to go to school with would agree to something like this. He didn’t even think Sebastian would agree to this. “Seriously?” 

“I wasn’t going to tell you. I’m sure no one would have found out, but…” Sebastian paused, almost shaking. “When we started hanging out again, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.” He stood up and sat next to Blaine again on the piano bench. “I could really use your advice right now.” 

Blaine was speechless. He completely understood why Sebastian didn’t want to say anything earlier. This went against everything that the Warblers used to stand for. If the Warblers didn’t have their honor, they didn’t have anything that helped them stand out from all of the other show choirs battling it out at the top. He knew Sebastian felt the same way about upholding the reputation of the Warblers by at least keeping everything fair, especially after what happened the previous year. This was definitely not the Warbler way. “I mean...you could tell the headmaster.” 

Sebastian’s eyes widened as he started to back away from Blaine. “No way,” he shook his head, suddenly looking scared out of his mind. “I can’t. Everyone would get in trouble. I’m not going to turn them all in just so that I don’t get in trouble.” 

This new, noble Sebastian was definitely different than the confident, rebellious boy that Blaine used to know. Something about it was sexy. Blaine couldn’t help but admire Sebastian’s desire to do the right thing, especially since it would be so easy for him to turn in the rest of the Warblers and get off without any consequences for himself. “Plus, if they all get in trouble, there’s no one to compete at sectionals and our season is done,” Sebastian added. That’s more like the old Sebastian. But, still. 

“Has everyone already done it?” Blaine asked, hoping at least some of his friends would be safe. 

“Not everyone. A couple of us were waiting until closer to sectionals, especially those of us that never really had a problem with the dancing. But Hunter and some of the guys that are usually more in the background have already done it a couple times since they’re not in as great of shape. I really don’t know what our numbers would look like if we lost all of them, but I know it wouldn’t be good.” This was probably the most Blaine ever heard Sebastian say about the Warblers. He knew Sebastian cared about the Warblers, but this was the most dedicated he’d ever seemed about anything. 

Blaine was silent again, shocked at his friends’ behavior. He couldn’t believe that any of the Warblers he used to perform with would even consider doing something like this. “Have you talked to Trent? Nick? Jeff?” 

Sebastian shook his head. “Trent, but that’s it. And it wasn’t anything more than me witnessing Trent arguing with Hunter about it. I followed him out of practice and he went on this rant about…” He paused. 

“You can tell me, Sebastian.” 

He took a deep breath before continuing. “He kept saying that if you were still around, this never would have happened. Which, yeah, he’s probably right. I screwed things up last year. Everything has been on thin ice since I started at Dalton.” 

“No, don’t do that to yourself. This is not your fault,” Blaine insisted, immediately reaching for Sebastian’s hand. 

Sebastian glanced down at their hands and gave Blaine a broken smile, clearly distraught about the situation with the Warblers. “Thanks.” Something about his expression told Blaine that Sebastian wasn’t completely convinced. 

Blaine thought about what he could say for a long time before offering any advice to Sebastian. He knew it was a tricky situation and if it was handled poorly, Sebastian could be the one who ended up in trouble. “Maybe...maybe we could find something else on Hunter. You know, get him expelled or at least suspended before sectionals so that the Warblers can perform without him.” 

“Wow, that might actually work. Who knew you had a little rebel in you,” Sebastian smirked, giving Blaine a comforting nudge. Blaine couldn’t help but blush, even if it wasn’t a compliment. 

“What can I say? You’re rubbing off on me.” Blaine attempted a smile as he noticed he was still holding onto Sebastian’s hand. 

“I hope that’s not the only rubbing I’ll be doing with you,” Sebastian winked. 

Blaine’s cheeks, already a shade of pink, turned even redder. He wished he could blame it on the alcohol, but he knew he couldn’t. It didn’t seem like either of them felt anything from the wine anymore. Blaine tried his best to think of a clever response, but his mind went blank whenever he sat this close to Sebastian, their eyes connected as if it was meant to be that way. Something changed in Sebastian’s eyes when he looked at Blaine. It wasn’t just now, but always. Whenever their eyes connected like this, Sebastian felt softer. As they sat only inches away from each other, Blaine could feel Sebastian’s warm breath on his lips. It was dangerous. “I really want to kiss you again,” Blaine admitted, regretting it almost instantly. 

Turns out Sebastian regretted it, too. He stood up and wandered toward the large window near the back of the room, staring out of it to avoid looking at Blaine. “Sorry to get your hopes up,” he said, a hint of playful teasing in his tone, but Blaine could tell he was forcing it to be there. Really, he just sounded hurt. 

“You didn’t...I mean...I just misinterpreted the moment, I guess,” Blaine shook his head and stood up. “I guess I should...I don’t know, should I leave?” 

Sebastian turned to face Blaine, obvious pain in his expression. “No,” was all Sebastian could manage to say. “Not yet.” He held Blaine’s eyes and it really felt as if he wanted to kiss Blaine, too. Yet, every time they got close, Sebastian put a stop to it. It didn’t make sense. He chased Blaine for over a year, trying to get him to cheat on his boyfriend and flirting with him nonstop. He always made comments about wanting to kiss him and touch him in every way he could, so why wouldn’t he take the chance when it was sitting right in front of him? It felt like all of it was just a game to him. 

“Sebastian,” Blaine started, standing up to start approaching the other boy. Somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to continue. 

The second Blaine stood up, Sebastian started walking to the other side of the room. He was almost out the door by the time he spoke again. “I don’t get why you do this to me, Blaine.” 

It was so quiet that Blaine assumed he wasn’t supposed to hear. But he did. He followed Sebastian out of the room and into a large entertainment space that held almost as much hard alcohol as the wine cellar held wine. “What the hell does that mean?” 

Sebastian took his sweet time to answer Blaine while he poured himself a short glass of something. Courvoisier it seemed. Of course, anytime the conversation turned to them, he needed to drink. Funny how he had the time to find the proper glass for brandy, but not enough time to answer Blaine’s fairly simple question. He drank the contents of the glass before answering. His eyes turned a lot more confident all of a sudden, not as lost and lovesick as they seemed only a few moments earlier. “You play these stupid games. It’s not good for either of us.” 

“How am I the one playing games? You’re the one who keeps looking at me like you want something from me, staring at my lips like you want to kiss me, and then pulling away whenever I try to do something about it. It’s really confusing,” Blaine explained, crossing his arms. He was suddenly angry. What went from a blank expression transitioned into a frown as Blaine realized how unfair Sebastian was being. 

Sebastian poured himself another drink while he listened to the other boy, clearly baffled at Blaine’s blunt words. “No, you don’t get to do that. You’ve been the one pulling away when I try to kiss you for over a year now. Just because I stopped it once doesn’t change that.” 

Blaine stared at Sebastian, his expression shifting back into confusion once again with his eyebrows narrowed and his mouth hanging open. “I was pulling away because I was in a relationship. That’s different now. What are you even talking about?” 

An obnoxious eye roll and a sip of the Courvoisier was Sebastian’s initial reaction. “Sure, so now everything is just fine? This never ends well, Blaine. You should know that after what you did.” 

Somehow both of their voices were raised as they spoke to each other. Blaine tried to figure out how this evolved so quickly into fighting. He was almost positive he didn’t do anything wrong, but what was this reaction about if he didn’t? “This is completely different. I cheated on him. But now we broke up. Kissing you isn’t cheating.” 

“So you just have no feelings at all for Kurt? Just like that, Blaine the hopeless romantic is ready to move on and hook up with another guy. All of a sudden, you’re not going to think about your ex or feel guilty after it’s over, even though you were literally thinking about him when you kissed me last week and crying about him a couple hours ago. And you’re not going to text Kurt tomorrow begging for his forgiveness and asking to talk while he’s still in town, even though you already have at least 20 times over the last two weeks.” Sebastian sounded so sure, like he knew Blaine better than he knew himself. His tone was mocking, sarcastic, and just mean. 

Blaine had no idea how to react to something like that. “Why does any of that matter? We’re here now and there...there was a moment, I know there was.” He had to admit his argument was starting to fall apart. Everything Sebastian said was spot on. It was exactly how Blaine felt the last time he and Sebastian kissed. Sure, he enjoyed the kiss and he wanted to do it again, but he knew he shouldn’t and that he was meant to be with Kurt. He beat himself up for the whole week leading up to opening night thinking about that kiss. Still, since when did Sebastian care about Blaine thinking of someone else? His whole life revolved around meaningless hookups. 

“For the love of god, Blaine, do I need to draw you a fucking picture?” Sebastian almost shouted with an eye roll, slamming the glass of Courvoisier on the bar in front of him. 

Blaine flinched, suddenly speechless. Now, with Sebastian standing right in front of him, it made Blaine feel sick to think about the things he said after their kiss. Without so many words, Sebastian was practically admitting it hurt him when Blaine acknowledged that he thought about Kurt when they kissed. The last thing he wanted was to hurt anyone, let alone someone who had been nothing but supportive ever since the breakup. “Sebastian…I don’t know what to…” 

Before Blaine could finish, Sebastian snapped again. But he didn’t look angry this time; he just looked hurt. His eyes were red and for a moment, Blaine thought he might cry. That shocked him more than he would’ve liked to admit. He never thought Sebastian Smythe would cry in front of him. “I don’t want to be your fucking rebound, Blaine.” 

Finally, Sebastian gave him something he could comprehend. All of his ambiguity disappeared as he admitted the truth. But how much of the truth? Blaine needed more. Why was he so opposed to being a rebound? Why did he care so much? Before Blaine could say anything, Sebastian drank another shot-sized sip of the Courvoisier and stormed off. “I need a minute, okay? Please don’t follow me.” His voice cracked as he avoided looking at Blaine and practically ran away, leaving Blaine standing at the bar in shock. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thanks for the continued feedback, I really appreciate hearing what you all have to say! This chapter is a big one that I've been excited about for a long time so I hope you all enjoy :)

The whole house fell silent as Blaine stood at the bar in Sebastian’s house alone for a long time in shock at what he had just witnessed. It was like Sebastian became a completely different person. He went from his regular self, joking about wine and trashing his parents’ house to confiding in Blaine about Hunter to confessing he didn’t want to be Blaine’s rebound, whatever that meant. He honestly couldn’t figure out why or what it meant for their relationship. Sebastian always wanted to hook up with him; it’s not like that was a secret. He even tried to get Blaine to cheat on his boyfriend. So now that Blaine was coming onto him stronger than ever, why didn’t he want it anymore? Maybe Sebastian wasn’t attracted to Blaine at all anymore. But that wouldn’t make sense. He still made tons of flirty jokes. Maybe he was drunk and didn’t know what he was saying. No, he wasn’t. Not even a blacked-out Sebastian would do something like that. 

When Blaine finally broke from his frozen silence, he contemplated looking for Sebastian just to make sure he was okay. Not only was he clearly going through something emotionally, but he also had way too much to drink in the span of five minutes. But he remembered Sebastian’s words vividly. Don’t follow me. So he tried not to. He returned to the music room and sat at the piano, wondering if playing something would bring Sebastian back. 

As much as he wanted to go looking for Sebastian despite his wishes, Blaine wasn’t sure he could even navigate the place to find where he was. The house was huge, and Blaine had seen less than half of it. He didn’t know what Sebastian’s room looked like or if that would even be where Sebastian retreated to. For a moment, Blaine gave up hope on finding Sebastian and started to play the first notes to “She Will Be Loved”, hoping Sebastian was close enough to hear. But Blaine couldn’t quite get it right and he didn’t feel like focusing on a song. 

Part of him really wanted to text Kurt, and that hurt, too. He felt sick to his stomach. Here he was, on the verge of throwing himself at this guy he’s been attracted to for years when he wasn’t even close to over his ex-boyfriend. He was making a guy he genuinely liked feel like a rebound because after all, that’s exactly what he was, even if Blaine wouldn’t admit it. There was an intrusive lump rising in his throat and for a moment, he thought he was about to cry. Then he realized that lump was vomit and he desperately needed to find a bathroom. He held his hand over his mouth while he searched nearby rooms for a bathroom. Luckily, he found one just in time and threw up in the nearest toilet. He flushed it and then sunk down on the floor, tears filling up his eyes. 

Of course. He had one good thing after the breakup, and he screwed it up. He made Sebastian feel like he didn’t care when in reality, Blaine cared about him more than he could ever say, maybe even too much. Why couldn’t he just resist the temptation and be Sebastian’s friend? Sebastian needed a friend and so did Blaine, so why did it have to be so complicated? If he really thought about it, Blaine knew this was Sebastian’s fault. He was the one constantly flirting with him, seeming interested, making Blaine fall for his stupid sex innuendos and winks. If Sebastian was literally anyone else, this wouldn’t be a problem. But he wasn’t. And maybe that was the point. 

Blaine still didn’t know if the vomit was from the alcohol or his conversation with Sebastian, but the sickness did serve as a wakeup call reminding Blaine that he needed to find his friend...or whatever Sebastian was to him. Sebastian had way more to drink than he did and was in no condition to take care of himself. He started roaming around the house, trying to figure out a starting point for looking for him. He figured he would try upstairs since most of the bedrooms were up there and that was pretty much Blaine’s only idea. 

He opened seven different doors before he found Sebastian’s room. It was a nice size and clearly decorated by a professional, but it didn’t look like something Sebastian would have picked out himself. He only knew it was his room because of the Dalton blazer hanging on the closet door. Unfortunately, Sebastian was nowhere to be seen. Blaine walked into the room and looked around, hoping at the very least he’d find some sign of life. He checked Sebastian’s huge walk-in closet, but he wasn’t in there, either. Then he heard the sound of running water and turned around to find the door to a bathroom. He took a deep breath and then knocked. Before he had a moment to process it, he started to panic, realizing he didn’t plan out what to say. 

The running water stopped for a moment and Blaine could have sworn he could hear Sebastian’s breathing through the door, as if he was leaning right up against it. “You can come in,” Sebastian said after at least a minute of silence. 

Blaine slowly turned the doorknob and walked in to find Sebastian leaning up against the vanity, facing the door. He looked better than he had downstairs when Blaine last saw him, but he could tell something was off. And Sebastian’s eyes were still red. Blaine was once again in disbelief that Sebastian looked like he had been crying. “Sebastian, I…” 

“No, it’s okay. I feel like I owe you an explanation,” Sebastian looked up at Blaine, his green eyes fighting to stay there. Blaine shook his head. “You don’t have to explain.” 

“Yes, I do. I’m trying this new thing where I’m honest, remember?” Sebastian reminded him. He led Blaine back into his bedroom and sat down on the bed, patting the spot next to him for Blaine to join him. Blaine took a deep breath, nervous for what Sebastian was about to say. “I swear to god if you repeat this to anyone…” 

“Sebastian, it’s okay. I’m not going to say anything,” Blaine insisted. He wanted to hold Sebastian’s hand, or reassure him in some way that everything would be okay. But he didn’t want to push it too far. He didn’t know what was normal anymore. 

Sebastian looked at Blaine for a minute before speaking, as if he wasn’t sure if he believed him or not. But when Blaine gave him a reassuring half-smile, Sebastian decided it was time to talk. “So I have a reputation. Everyone knows it. You just brought it up tonight after the show. I’ve hooked up with a lot of guys. Sex is fun and... it’s easy for me.” He paused, gathering his thoughts. “I’m very good at it.” He glanced at Blaine with a hint of a smirk which, of course, made him smile. At least there was a small hint of the Sebastian he knew and cared about. “But I don’t just want some mindless hookup with you, Blaine.” 

When it didn’t seem like he was going to elaborate on what that meant, Blaine pushed back a little bit. “What changed?” 

“It’s not like anything changed. Well, I guess when you and I first met that’s what it was. You were hot, talented, unavailable. But now it’s...well, I lost you as a friend once. I did a series of really fucked up things and then your asshole boyfriend made you stop talking to me. I was pissed when I found out. I don’t talk to that many people. Most of the Warblers are obnoxious and all the kids at Dalton are posers,” he explained with a shrug. “So losing you wasn’t great.”

“I’m really sorry about that. I never should have cut you out like that, especially without an explanation,” Blaine confessed. “It’s fine. I never questioned why you did it. I always knew it was Kurt. Plus, I kind of deserved it. I treated you like shit last year. All of that is in the past though, it’s not really the point,” Sebastian replied. For the first time, Blaine believed him. He felt a sense of relief with Sebastian’s reassurance that this wasn’t about that. “The point is that I know what it felt like to lose you as a friend and it felt like shit.” 

Blaine nodded, understanding a new piece of the puzzle that was Sebastian Smythe. “Yeah, it didn’t feel great on my end either.” 

“Well at least I can sleep at night knowing you were secretly fantasizing about me, too,” Sebastian winked at him. 

“I did not say that,” Blaine denied, a blush surfacing on his cheeks. 

“Anyway, my point is that I’ve been a rebound before. Well, I’ve been a rebound many times. But I had this friend in Paris. We weren’t as close as...” as close as me and you, Blaine filled in, “well, we weren’t that close, but we played lacrosse together and he was a pretty cool guy. I wasn’t really into him or anything, but he went through a pretty rough breakup the summer before I transferred to Dalton. One night, we went out to this club and got super wasted. We woke up in bed together the next morning and it kind of just spiraled from there. I rarely double dip with hookups, but this lasted for a month or so.” He took a break from the story to breathe for a second and then continued. “Then his ex-boyfriend showed up and he just stopped talking to me all together. Our last conversation, he said all this stuff about how he never should have hooked up with me and he wasn’t over his boyfriend and I just confused him or something. He quit lacrosse, stopped hanging out in the dorms at night. I don’t know, it was a lot.” Sebastian kept staring at the wall in his room, holding his breath. “Anyway, we’re not friends anymore.” 

Blaine stared at Sebastian longingly, wishing there was something he could do to make this all okay. “I’m so sorry, that must have been awful.” 

“No, that wasn’t the point, either. I don’t want you to feel bad for me. It honestly didn’t suck that much. The guy was an idiot. He was failing French even though we were literally in France, but somehow, he still couldn’t pick up the language. He also got benched most lacrosse games for getting in fights with the other team. It was more of a friendship out of convenience than it was anything else. Most kids at the school were European but we were both American so we just kind of got thrown together, even if he was insufferable,” Sebastian explained, rolling his eyes at the description of his former friend. 

Blaine couldn’t help but laugh as Sebastian described his friend. “Wow, I can’t believe you had sex with this guy.” 

“Honestly, the sex wasn’t half bad. I just hated listening to him speak, so it was better when we weren’t talking, if you know what I mean,” Sebastian shrugged. “Also, you had sex with a guy who looks like my grandmother and dresses like an eight-year-old girl, so.” 

Blaine rolled his eyes at the insult but decided not to argue. It wasn’t worth it. “As much as I’d love to listen to you describe the details of sex with the dumb, aggressive lacrosse boy,” he mumbled sarcastically, “what does this mean for you and me?” 

Sebastian took a deep breath and then continued. “Basically, I liked you right away when I met you. Sure, you have a great ass and even though you put way too much gel in your hair despite it looking perfectly fine without any gel at all, it always looks nice. And it’s super hot when I hit on you and you get all flustered trying to think of something to say back.” 

Blaine’s face burned red as he realized all of the things Sebastian noticed that he thought he was getting away with. Clearly, he wasn’t as sneaky as he thought. 

“But even without all of that, you give insanely good advice. And believe it or not, your voice is the greatest I’ve ever heard. You’re an incredible friend, not just to me but to everyone. Sam might be the dumbest person I’ve ever met, and Tina is so clearly in love with you it’s downright creepy. Rachel is the most intolerable person on this planet and Finn can’t sing or dance, so I have no idea how he’s running the New Directions now. Don’t even get me started on Kurt. But you never hesitate to stick up for every one of them. I’d think you were crazy if I didn’t know better. I still do a little bit.” 

Blaine found himself smiling so wide it was almost embarrassing. This was one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to him. Sebastian must have noticed because there was a hint of red on his cheeks as he continued. “So my point is, even if every time I’m with you I think about how much I want to fuck you every five minutes and it’s straight up unbearable to walk away from you when you’re staring at me in that sexy optimistic way you always do, practically begging me to kiss you, I just can’t do it. This is going to be the cheesiest thing yet, so please don’t laugh,” Sebastian paused, looking at Blaine to verify that he wouldn’t get made fun of. “I don’t want to risk losing you because you honestly are the most important person in my life. And I was in hell without you around last year. I don’t want to put myself through that again just because I can’t keep it in my pants.” 

Blaine let out a laugh as Sebastian blushed. He admired how confident Sebastian was in his sexuality, his ability to own every part of his body and have sex with whoever he wanted whenever he wanted. “I’ve been someone’s rebound hundreds of times before. I can’t tell you how many semi-attractive twenty-somethings end up at Scandals after a breakup searching for someone like me. Same with Paris. You know how many broken-hearted lovesick idiots there are there? It’s basically the entire population of tourists,” Sebastian joked, looking up at Blaine only for a second. Blaine reacted with a brief chuckle. “But I’ve only been the rebound to one person that I ever considered a friend, and it didn’t end well. I don’t want to risk losing you the second Hummel decides he’s ready to forgive you just for a one-night stand, no matter how much I want to. Maybe it’s selfish to deprive you of what would almost certainly be the best sex of your life, I don’t know. But it feels like what I need to do.” 

As cringe worthy as the end was, Blaine appreciated the humorous spin. It’s what Sebastian did best. Well, he thought it was until he heard Sebastian pour his heart out to him like this. “Wow, that was a lot,” Blaine admitted. He was feeling a little bit overwhelmed, as if he didn’t know where to begin addressing everything Sebastian said. 

Sebastian started to look nervous, fidgeting with his hands while he looked around the room. “I’m thanking those Courvoisier shots right about now. I would not have been able to get all of that out,” he acknowledged, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Despite everything Sebastian just explained, he just wanted to kiss him more. It was times like these when he really fell for him, when he was really honest about himself and how he felt. It was too much for Blaine to handle. He decided to take what he could and instead of going for the kiss, he took Sebastian’s hand in his and squeezed it. “So am I. I’m glad you told me all of this. Everything makes so much more sense now.” 

Sebastian let himself smile, if only for a second, at the sensation of his hand in Blaine’s. “Well, I couldn’t just leave you hanging. You looked like you wanted to jump me right there on the piano bench,” he joked. 

Blaine rolled his eyes and looked into Sebastian’s eyes, wishing there was some way he could make this all okay. Even though Sebastian finally explained what the hell was going on with him, he still didn’t offer a solution to their obvious sexual tension. All Blaine wanted to do was insist that Sebastian wouldn’t be his rebound and that he always wanted him even despite his relationship with Kurt. Maybe Eli was his rebound even if he and Kurt weren’t broken up yet when it happened. But he knew it wouldn’t be fair to say any of that if he didn’t know if it was true or not. After his performance in Grease earlier in the night, he was ready to abandon all of his plans with Sebastian at the drop of a hat to spend the night talking with Kurt. He had to admit he wasn’t over Kurt and that it might be awhile before he was. 

“Sorry, you’re probably freaked out.” Sebastian started to stand up and pace again until Blaine reached for his hand to stop him from moving. 

“No, I’m not freaked out. I’m just thinking,” Blaine explained, looking for a way out of his all-consuming mind. He couldn’t find the words to explain how he felt, so he decided it would be best to leave it alone. “How about we just hang out? Nothing else, we’ll just try to be friends.” 

Sebastian let out a sigh of relief that Blaine had no idea he was holding in. “Perfect.” 

Blaine smiled as he squeezed Sebastian’s hand again, enjoying the feeling of their hands clasped together much more than he should have. “But also, it’s two in the morning and we are both way too drunk to drive. Would you mind if I slept over?” 

“Jesus, you’re really going to do everything in your power to tempt me away from this ‘just friends’ thing, aren’t you?” They both laughed a little at the joke. “Yeah, I can drive you home in the morning. You have another show tomorrow, right?” 

“Yeah, a matinee actually. I’m supposed to be there at 11,” Blaine frowned, realizing he wouldn’t be getting very much sleep. 

Sebastian’s eyes widened as he realized the same thing. “Well you better get to sleep then.” He stood up and started searching his closet for something. A minute later, he tossed a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants toward Blaine. “Good enough?” 

Blaine held up the sweatshirt to look at it. It was a shade of dark blue with the Dalton Academy lacrosse logo on it. “Yeah, but I can just sleep in my clothes. I don’t need to create more laundry for you.” 

“First of all, no you can’t. As sexy as those tight pants are, I know they can’t be comfortable to sleep in. And second, you really think I do my own laundry in this house? I don’t even know where the laundry room is,” Sebastian shrugged as he pulled a shirt out of the closet for himself. 

Blaine laughed at the joke. Of course Sebastian didn’t do his own laundry in a house like this. “If you say so.” 

Before Blaine could process what was happening, Sebastian was changing clothes right in front of him with his back facing Blaine. He couldn’t help but stare at the muscles on his back as he changed from his long-sleeve rugby shirt into a t-shirt with some French words written on it. He assumed it was from his boarding school in Paris based on the logo. After changing shirts, Sebastian turned around to face him before he had the chance to pretend he wasn’t looking. “You know, you’re really not making the friends thing easy when you stare at me like that all the time. Are you drooling?” Sebastian smirked as he made his way to the bathroom to change his pants. “I know it’s hard, but at least try to pretend you’re not constantly thinking about having sex with me.” 

Blaine tried to think of a witty response, but he was once again at a loss for words when Sebastian shut the door to the bathroom to finish changing clothes. He decided to take this opportunity to change into the clothes Sebastian gave him for the night. Of course, both items were too big on him. Although Sebastian was very thin, he was definitely in better shape than Blaine and he was much taller which made his clothes very baggy on someone as small as Blaine. His pants dangled several inches below Blaine’s feet when he sat down on the bed and the arms of the sweatshirt hung far below his hands. But something about it was comforting. Blaine enjoyed the smell of the combination of laundry detergent and cologne. 

Sebastian returned to the room a while later and almost burst out laughing at the sight of Blaine in his clothes. “Wow, I know I’m a little bit taller than you but damn. You’re not gonna be able to walk in those,” he joked, nudging Blaine as he started to take the decorative pillows off his bed. 

“Good thing I’m just going to sleep,” Blaine replied, leaning back on the bed. 

This time, Blaine could feel Sebastian’s eyes lingering on his body as he prepared the bed to be slept in. “You can sleep in here or there are like a million other rooms in this place. It’s up to you.” 

Blaine lifted the sheets over his body and started to close his eyes. “This is good.” 

“I really can’t catch a break, can I?” Sebastian asked, pretending to be frustrated over Blaine’s teasing. 

He shut off the lights and then sat down on the bed next to where Blaine was already half asleep. “Just lay down and go to sleep. I won’t bite,” Blaine said with a faint smirk and heavy eyes. 

With the lights off, Blaine had a hard time tracking where Sebastian was until he was lying right up next to him, their arms so close that any slight movement would result in something touching. Without thinking too much of it, Blaine reached for Sebastian’s arm and lifted it around his body. Something about it felt natural and he was surprised when not even Sebastian protested the movement. In fact, Sebastian repositioned himself so that he was holding Blaine in his arms. 

As Blaine felt himself about to drift to sleep, he felt the need to say one last thing regarding their conversation about rebounds and friendships and the future of their relationship. “Sebastian?” Sebastian let out a tired hum to let Blaine know he was listening. “I don’t know how I feel about Kurt right now. I don’t know what I would do if he called me and said he was ready to get back together. But I do know that I won’t give up what I have with you to get him back,” Blaine explained, hoping it would be enough to convey his feelings. “I’m never going to leave you behind again.” 

Sebastian responded by kissing the back of Blaine’s head and holding onto his hand just a little bit tighter as they both drifted off to sleep. 

After what felt like only a few hours of sleep, Sebastian woke up first in desperate need of water. During the chaos of confessing his thoughts about their friendship to Blaine, he forgot how much he had to drink and suddenly felt dehydrated upon waking up at 9 A.M. When he woke up, he still felt the smaller boy lying in his arms, fast asleep. He stared at him for a moment and smiled. Blaine always looked so at peace while he was sleeping. Sebastian wanted to avoid waking him up, but he knew eventually Blaine would need to be awake so he could drive him back to Lima for his matinee performance of Grease. He decided he would let Blaine sleep for a few more minutes while he prepared coffee and tried to solve his dehydration problem. 

Blaine woke up a half hour later to find Sebastian sitting next to him on the bed, scrolling through Facebook on his phone and sipping from a cup of coffee. He smiled up at Sebastian as he noticed the second cup of coffee sitting on his bedside table. “Good morning,” Blaine said with a grin. 

Sebastian didn’t notice Blaine was awake until his morning greeting, so it shocked him to hear Blaine’s voice. “Hey, Killer. How’d you sleep?” He asked, handing Blaine the second cup of coffee. 

“Better than I’ve slept in a while, honestly,” Blaine replied. It felt weird to admit something like that to Sebastian, but after everything the other boy shared with him the previous night, it was starting to feel natural. “Thanks for the coffee.” 

“Don’t worry about it. I was going to wake you up in a little bit since it’s almost ten and I know you need to be back at McKinley by 11. Are you feeling okay?” 

Blaine took a sip of the coffee Sebastian prepared for him. “Wow, this coffee is really good.” He released a happy sigh as he enjoyed Sebastian’s home brew. “Yeah, I’m okay. How are you?” 

“My head hurts a bit but I’m okay,” Sebastian answered. “We should probably get going. I wouldn’t want you to miss your show.” Blaine reluctantly agreed and got out of bed a few minutes later to make sure he didn’t look too horrible when he showed up at school. He figured he wouldn’t have much time to go home before the performance, so his best bet was getting ready at school where all of his costume makeup and hair supplies were. He knew his friends would notice how odd he looked with his untamed hair and lounge clothes, but it was his only option, and he definitely didn’t regret spending that time with Sebastian because the conversation they had was worth it. 

As Sebastian pulled up outside of McKinley to drop Blaine off, Blaine turned to him for a final thought. “We’re okay, right?” 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?” Sebastian’s eyebrow raised. Blaine started to panic when he realized they didn’t talk about the night before yet. The possibility that Sebastian may have blacked out from all of the Courvoisier shots never occurred to him until that moment. After a minute of uncomfortable silence, Sebastian started laughing. “You should see your face right now; it’s priceless.” 

Blaine rolled his eyes. “Oh thank god. That would’ve been really awkward.” 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come see the show again?” Sebastian asked as he looked toward the doors to the school. “I know it’s just one scene but as far as I’m concerned, it’s the best scene in the whole show.” 

Blaine shook his head as he reached for the car door. “No, you shouldn’t. You have studying to do. Plus, I’ll see you for coffee on Monday anyway, right?” 

“Yeah, of course,” Sebastian agreed, smiling as Blaine got out of the car and ran into school. He drove off leaving Blaine to focus on the performance. 

When Blaine walked through the dressing room doors, Tina’s eyes widened as she approached him. “Oh my god, Blaine, what happened to you? Your hair...and what is that outfit? Wait,” she paused as she scanned Blaine’s body. “Is that a Dalton lacrosse sweatshirt? You don’t play lacrosse, Blaine.” 

Blaine looked down at the sweatshirt in a panic, realizing he forgot he was still wearing Sebastian’s clothes. Suddenly, Sam was next to him as well, staring at the sweatshirt. “Dude, I didn’t know you played lacrosse at Dalton. That’s so cool.” 

Tina crossed her arms and stared at the two of them in disbelief. “Is that Sebastian’s sweatshirt?” 

Blaine hesitated before responding, trying to think of a way he could play it off that would avoid Tina’s lecture. “Um...would you believe me if I said it wasn’t?” 

Sam looked as if he was contemplating it as he looked at the ceiling, but Tina jumped immediately to conclusions. “You and Kurt just broke up like a month ago and everyone knows you’re still in love with him. You can’t just hook up with someone else and expect that it’s all going to be okay.” 

At the last comment, Blaine instantly felt sick to his stomach. For once, he hoped it was from the alcohol, but deep down he knew it was because Tina was referencing his hookup with Eli. Sam must have noticed Blaine’s discomfort because he turned to Tina and glared at her. “Tina, what the hell? That was totally unnecessary.” 

“Oh my god, Blainey days, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, I just…” She paused, clearly upset with herself. 

“Mike posted a picture with a girl on his Instagram,” Sam whispered to Blaine, trying to prevent Tina from overhearing. 

Tina sighed and sunk into a chair in the corner of the room. “Sorry.” 

“Don’t be. I get it, Tina. It’s hard to see your ex move on.” Blaine placed a comforting hand on Tina’s shoulder. “And if it helps at all, I definitely didn’t hookup with Sebastian. I just wasn’t feeling like going to the party after running into Kurt, so I ended up hanging out at his house and it got really late, so I spent the night.” 

Tina nodded along as she listened to Blaine. “I still don’t trust him, but if this is what you want to do, I’m not going to stand in the way.” Blaine let out a sigh of relief. “Good because this is honestly the happiest I’ve been in a long time.” 

“You mean since you and Kurt broke up?” Tina asked. Blaine knew she meant well, but at the same time, it felt as if he wasn’t allowed to be happy unless he had Kurt in his life. 

Blaine nodded slowly, deciding to go with it. “Yeah. Plus, this sweatshirt is really comfortable.” It was true; there was something about Sebastian’s sweatshirt that was so warm and cozy. Just like he noticed when he first put it on, it still smelled like him and it was almost like he had Sebastian with him all the time. As he went on stage for the second performance of Grease, he felt significantly more prepared and optimistic than he did for opening night. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are with another chapter! I hope you all are enjoying it so far. As I've said previously, I really enjoy reading all of your feedback and hope you feel comfortable to continue commenting in the future! 
> 
> This one is kind of more of a filler chapter, but a lot of the content didn't fit in well with the surrounding chapters, so it's a little short. Hope you enjoy :)

Blaine’s feelings for Kurt definitely didn’t disappear all at once, but suddenly they didn’t seem quite so heavy and overbearing anymore. Being in love with Kurt felt like this huge weight on his chest, constantly reminding him how in love he was. His love for Kurt was so strong that it hurt. But one day, while at glee rehearsal, he realized that it didn’t feel that way anymore. As sad as he remained about the breakup, it was different now. He wasn’t spending hours every day staring at his phone and wishing for Kurt to text him back or call him. 

Moving on from the breakup took place in phases. At first, Blaine wouldn’t leave his room. Eventually, he started coming out for meals and school when that long weekend finally ended. Soon after that was when Grease began and he started spending more time with Sebastian and slowly, everything started to feel like it would be okay again. A week after Grease closed, Blaine had only sent Kurt one text, and it wasn’t even for the purpose of begging him to listen. 

_Thank you for coming to opening night. I know I’ve been texting and calling a lot, but I know I should just give you some space. Let me know if you want to talk. I promise I’ll be here :) -Blaine_

He sent the text hoping for some semblance of temporary closure. He didn’t want to feel like there were words left unsaid, and he figured if he at least stopped texting so often, maybe he would be able to stop thinking about Kurt all the time. Blaine eventually realized he was being irrational expecting that Kurt would only text him back if he was reaching out every single day. 

Sebastian was helping him realize a lot of those little things, but the nice part was that sometimes Sebastian didn’t have to say anything at all. Just being around him helped Blaine to notice the ways he messed up his relationship with Kurt and the series of events that ultimately caused their breakup. He was also helping Blaine to see that he couldn’t do anything more than he was already doing, that if Kurt wanted to get back together, he would eventually let Blaine know. 

Soon enough, Blaine wasn’t thinking of Kurt all day every day and instead, he was spending his time with his friends. Sam and Blaine hung out at least once every weekend. Every other day, Blaine met up with Tina to study since they were in most of the same classes. As for Sebastian, they met almost daily at the Lima Bean. It became one of the best parts of his daily routine. 

The only problem with the new arrangement was that Blaine couldn’t stop thinking about the Warblers’ problems with Hunter. He continued to try to help Sebastian with it, but sectionals was getting closer and they still didn’t have a good solution. It wasn’t until the Sunday before sectionals that Sebastian really started to panic. “I’m not like this. I don’t freak out over stuff like this. You’re a bad influence on me,” Sebastian insisted, taking a long sip of his coffee. 

Blaine scoffed. “I’m the bad influence? If I wasn’t helping you out with this, there’s a pretty good chance you’d be preparing to take steroids to win a show choir competition right now.” 

“You don’t know that,” Sebastian rolled his eyes. 

Blaine almost reacted but his attention was forced away from Sebastian and onto something more important. “Wait, I found something...there’s no way this is real.” 

“What is it?” Sebastian looked up instantly at Blaine’s revelation. 

Blaine took a while to answer, but it wasn’t as easy as he thought to understand the image he was seeing. “I think...I think this is Hunter’s graduation picture. That’s him, right?” He turned his laptop around so that Sebastian could see the image. It was blurry, but it was definitely Hunter Clarington. 

“No way,” Sebastian mumbled in disbelief. “How the hell…” 

“I don’t know how he would have gotten the paperwork necessary to prove he’s still in high school, but this says class of 2011 which means he graduated two years ago. He should not be at Dalton right now,” Blaine explained skimming the article attached to the image he discovered. “I wonder if the Dalton faculty know about this.” 

Sebastian shook his head. “Of course they don’t. They would never let a kid in that poses that much of a risk to their reputation. He’s definitely faking it.” 

Blaine’s expression was blank as he tried to think of what this could mean for the Warblers’ ability to compete at sectionals. “What do you want to do?” 

Sebastian stared at the wall of the Lima Bean for a moment, seemingly unsure of how he wanted to answer Blaine’s question. “I guess I’ll meet with the headmaster to tell him the truth about Hunter. I just hope this all gets figured out before we need to have our finalized roster for sectionals. We’ll need a replacement for Hunter.” 

“Let me know what’s going to happen immediately when you’re done talking to him, okay?” Blaine requested. Even if the Warblers were technically his competition now, he still didn’t want to see his friends do drugs just to have a chance of beating the New Directions. He wanted a fair and honest competition. 

As expected, Sebastian texted Blaine the next day with an update on the situation with Hunter. He was sitting in the choir room waiting for glee rehearsal to begin when he received the message. 

_The Headmaster is meeting with Hunter first thing tomorrow morning, so we’ll have official word after that. -Sebastian_

A smile spread across Blaine’s cheeks as he read the message. He knew Hunter wouldn’t be able to get away with faking his age for much longer now that he and Sebastian knew the truth. 

_Perfect :) -Blaine_

Sam and Tina sat in the seats closest to Blaine in the choir room and rehearsal began a few moments later when Finn walked in. “Alright, good news. I have our setlist for sectionals. The theme is ‘foreigner’, so we’re opening with Gangnam Style. Tina, how would you like the solo?” 

Tina’s eyes widened as Finn said her name. “Finally! This never happens!” Tina exclaimed. “But you do know that I don’t speak Korean, right?” 

Finn gave Tina an extremely unconvincing nod before he continued naming off the songs for the rest of the setlist. It should have told Blaine a lot that his first instinct was to text Sebastian and tell him about Finn’s awful ideas, but he ignored the instinct and brushed it off. He felt guilty about it, but most of his thoughts that day in glee club revolved around what would happen with the Warblers. A lot of his friends from Dalton were seniors and he was concerned about them for a number of reasons. 

It wasn’t until that Tuesday afternoon that Blaine’s worries reached a new level. He waited at the Lima Bean for Sebastian for thirty minutes and was starting to worry he wouldn’t show up, so he sent a text to make sure. 

_Hey, is everything okay? Did something happen with the headmaster? -Blaine_

He was already a little disappointed when he didn’t hear from Sebastian all day leading up to their coffee plans, but this just added to that confusion. Since they planned the whole coup against Hunter together, Baine assumed he would be the first person that Sebastian would share any news with. Not hearing anything could only mean two things: either Sebastian was mad at him for convincing him to confront the problem or something went horribly wrong in the meeting with the headmaster and Sebastian was still figuring out how to deal with it. Somehow, Blaine found himself hoping for the former. At least he could fix it if Sebastian was mad, but if something was wrong for the Warblers, he knew he wouldn’t be able to help. 

After almost an hour of no response, Blaine decided to get up and get another coffee. He was using the time to work on homework, which is what he would’ve been doing with Sebastian anyway. He wasn’t necessarily mad about Sebastian being so late, but he was freaking out a little given the circumstances. It wasn’t until he sat down with his new coffee that Sebastian found the seat across from him and started to take off his coat and scarf. 

Blaine tried to read his facial expression, but he couldn’t figure out what was going on until Sebastian started explaining. “I’m sorry I didn’t text, but I was just in a last-minute meeting with the headmaster.” 

“Wait why? Didn’t Hunter meet with him today?” 

Sebastian rolled his eyes and practically slammed his scarf on the table. “Yeah, apparently there were some ‘surprises’ in his meeting with the headmaster this morning.” 

“What kind of surprises?” Blaine asked, suddenly concerned as Sebastian’s anger kept escalating. He slid his coffee toward Sebastian when he realized how much more he needed it. 

As Sebastian took a sip of Blaine’s coffee, he was clearly trying to calm himself down. He didn’t want to make a scene in the Lima Bean, but something was definitely wrong. “That fucking rat told him about the steroids. And of course, now Hunter gets to look like some sort of hero who turned in the Warblers for doing something wrong. And guess who he said was behind it all?” 

“No way, did you tell him that’s bullshit? That it was Hunter’s idea?” 

“Yeah, of course I did, but by then it just looked like I was trying to find a scapegoat. So now, I’m the one who’s in trouble for all of the drug stuff and all of the Warblers are getting their blood tested.” His hands were in fists as he picked up his phone and started typing. “Sorry, it’s a text from Jeff.” 

The story shocked Blaine. He couldn’t believe this somehow backfired and now Sebastian was in trouble. “Oh my god, I’m sorry, I never expected that to happen.” 

“Yeah, well, if any of them test positive, they’re not gonna get to compete at sectionals and I know for a fact at least half the Warblers will. At best, we’ll have seven guys and at worst, we’ll only have three.” He was fuming. His face was red with rage as he stared at Blaine. 

Blaine was speechless. He had no idea what Sebastian could do to fix this mess. “Have you spoken to the Warblers?” 

“Yeah, I called an emergency meeting after talking with the headmaster and that’s how I found out how many of them think they’ll fail the drug test. Four of them couldn’t make it to the meeting so I don’t know what kind of numbers I’m working with. Everyone is freaking out and Jeff won’t stop texting me. It’s not like I can train nine new guys to sing acapella in the next two days; the competition is on Thursday. Plus, Hunter had a solo, so we’re going to have to rearrange our entire setlist. And even then, that’s dependent on me not getting expelled,” Sebastian fumed. He was almost yelling and people in the Lima Bean were starting to turn to look at them. 

“Sebastian, I’m so…” 

“Would you stop? You apologizing isn’t going to fix any of this. You don’t have to pretend to feel sorry for me; I know you’re thrilled the New Directions don’t have any competition anymore,” he snapped, rolling his eyes as he looked away from Blaine. 

Blaine’s eyebrows furrowed at Sebastian’s reaction. “I’m not happy about this. I’ve been trying to help you this whole time. Why are you yelling at me?” 

“Because, Blaine, no one ever would have found out if you didn’t convince me to find dirt on Hunter to get him in trouble,” Sebastian looked conflicted, as if he didn’t want to be yelling at Blaine but he didn’t have anything else to put his anger into. 

The other boy frowned at Sebastian’s reaction. “I know you don’t mean that. You’re just angry at the situation and you’re taking it out on me.” 

“Yeah, of course I’m fucking angry. It’s my senior year and I’m being forced to forfeit the competition. Now that you all lost most of your star power, you’re like the only one left in New Directions with any talent. We were a shoo-in for sectionals and all of the show choir blogs said with McKinley out of the way, the Warblers were the best team in the Midwest. Not to mention my dad is gonna disown me when he finds out he has to buy me out of an expulsion for the second time in two years. So yeah, this fucking sucks,” Sebastian leaned back in his chair, glaring at Blaine. 

Blaine had no idea what he could say that would make the situation better. He knew their friendship had always been complicated since they were part of rival show choirs, but never anticipated Sebastian exploding like this. He always went with the flow and took his losses well. He might have been a master of pre-game shit talk, but he wasn’t a sore loser. 

Once again, Sebastian’s head was in his phone, frantically texting back one of the Warblers. Before Blaine could think of something to respond with, Sebastian’s phone started ringing and he picked it up. “What do you want?” He tried to figure out who was on the other line, but it was unclear. “I told you I was figuring it out.” Maybe Jeff? “I’m at the Lima Bean. And no, there’s no way. We need to just call the board and tell them we’re pulling out of the competition.” 

Blaine felt horrible. Thinking about the Warblers’ season ending after sectionals made him feel sick. He hated what this had come to. And Sebastian might be getting expelled? It was all too much to process. He stood up and walked to the bathroom in an attempt to distract himself from the chaos of his conversation with Sebastian, hoping Sebastian would cool off by the time he returned. He really didn’t like Sebastian blaming him for this whole thing, especially since things were finally good between them again. 

When he returned to the table, Sebastian was no longer on the phone and looked deep in thought about something. “I’m sorry for yelling,” he said with an eye roll. “I’m just really fucking pissed at Hunter and this whole situation is frustrating. I think I’m gonna go and see if I can work anything out with Nick and Jeff, maybe salvage my spot at Dalton. And I think I need some space. I’ll see you later.” Before Blaine could respond, Sebastian stood up and was out the door of the Lima Bean. 

Blaine stared after him, no longer angry but worried instead. He wanted to be supportive, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to get through to Sebastian when he was like this. He figured it would be best to let him be while he sorted things out with the rest of the Warblers. 

Although he contemplated telling Sam and Tina the news, he decided he would wait for the Warblers’ forfeit to be official. After all, he was still hoping Sebastian could figure something out. It wasn’t until the morning of Thanksgiving, the day of the competition, that the New Directions found out. 

“Blaine, did you see the show choir blogs?” Tina asked when she ran into the choir room for their final rehearsal. “The Warblers are pulling out of sectionals, something about a drug scandal.” 

Sam followed closely behind Tina. “Did you know about this? Is Sebastian involved?” 

“No… I mean, yes… well, sort of,” Blaine replied, realizing how difficult it would be to lie to his friends. “No, Sebastian isn’t involved. He’s actually sort of the reason why the headmaster found out. But yeah, I did know about it. Sebastian told me and I helped him try to get the guy who was behind it all punished. Clearly, it backfired and now the Warblers can’t compete.” 

Tina looked thrilled. Her eyes widened as she practically jumped out of her chair and pulled Blaine into a hug. “This is fantastic! There’s no way we’ll lose sectionals now!” 

Blaine’s expression was much less excited. “Dude what’s wrong?” Sam asked when he noticed the look on Blaine’s face. “I feel bad. So many of them are seniors and they used to be my friends. Sebastian is devastated,” Blaine explained, hoping his friends would understand. 

Unfortunately, Tina didn’t. “What are you talking about? This is good news.” 

Before Blaine reacted to Tina, Artie rolled up and parked his wheelchair next to them. “Clearly, once a Warbler always a Warbler. Blaine, whose side are you on?” 

“I’m obviously with you guys, but am I not allowed to be a little bit upset that my friends don’t even get to compete at sectionals?” Blaine asked. He was starting to feel offended at his friends’ accusations. 

Luckily, Finn walked in just in time. “Everyone needs to stop harassing Blaine. This has nothing to do with him or even us. We still have to beat the Rosedale Mennonites and we should still perform the best we can. It’s important for us to look good to the judges and get practice for regionals. Keep in mind that half of you have never been to a show choir competition before so it’s important to gain some experience.” 

“Thanks, Finn,” Blaine smiled. He sent a quick text to Sebastian before they started rehearsal. 

_I just heard it’s official. I’m sorry about how all of this went down. Please just let me know that you’re okay. Let me know if there’s anything I can do. -Blaine_

He didn’t expect to get a response, so he continued the rest of their dress rehearsal for the performance normally without worrying too much about what Sebastian was thinking. He knew he would be devastated, but he didn’t want to force him to talk about it if he wasn’t ready. 

By six that night, the New Directions were getting ready to head to the auditorium for the Mennonites’ performance. Blaine noticed Marley still sitting in the back of the choir room after everyone else had started to leave which he found a little odd, so he stayed back for a moment to check in with her. “Hey, are you okay?” 

She looked up as if she was shocked someone was talking to her. “What? Oh, I’m just nervous.” 

“Don’t be. Without the Warblers here, it’ll be a piece of cake. We could beat these kids in our sleep.” Blaine playfully nudged her arm and reached his hand out for her to take. 

Marley nodded and took Blaine’s hand, but she still looked a little sick. “Is there something else going on?” 

“No, I’m… I’m fine,” Marley insisted as she followed Blaine to the auditorium. 

As everyone was getting ready to go onstage to perform, Blaine decided he would let Santana know what was going on with Marley. Since she was assigned as Marley’s mentor for the week, he figured she might be able to get through to her. He noticed Finn and Santana take Marley aside before the performance to calm her nerves. 

They had ten minutes until showtime when Blaine pulled his phone out of his pocket to see if Sebastian ever texted him back. He sighed, deciding he would try to give him a call after the performance to see if there was anything he could do. He knew the New Directions would want to celebrate that night after the show, but he figured he could skip it if he needed to be there for his friend. Suddenly, Blaine’s phone started ringing in his hand and he looked down immediately, hoping it would be Sebastian. To Blaine’s surprise, the name on the caller I.D. read “Kurt Hummel”, the last person Blaine was expecting to get a call from. His heart was beating so fast as he stood up and rushed off to his secret place in the auditorium to take the call. “Hello?” He asked, his voice sounding shocked. 

At first, Blaine could only hear Kurt’s steady breathing and the sounds of honking horns on the other line. Then, Kurt finally said, “Hey, can you hear me? It’s kind of loud out here.” 

Blaine, still in shock, had no idea what to say. “Um… yeah, yeah I can hear you.” 

“Have you guys performed yet?” Kurt asked. 

“Um, no. Not yet.” After Blaine’s response, he could only hear background noise on the other line. He decided he needed to be the one to break it this time. “Look, Kurt, I just want you to know that no matter…” 

“Just let me talk for a second,” Kurt interrupted. “Look, you’ve said you’re sorry a million times. And…” There was another moment of silence before Kurt continued. “I believe you. And I’m trying to forgive you, but…” He paused again, clearly having a hard time with telling Blaine how he felt. “I’m just not there yet. But it’s Thanksgiving and it’s sectionals and…” His voice was starting to sound choked up as he spoke to Blaine. “I miss you like crazy. And I can’t stand not talking to you even though I’m mad at you because you’re still my best friend.” 

Blaine was crying as his emotions started to take over. He didn’t know how to feel about this sudden phone call. He was overwhelmed with all of the things he was feeling about the Warblers and Sebastian and Kurt all at the same time and this made all of those emotions explode. “You’re mine, too.” He couldn’t seem to find more words than that. 

For a while, neither boy said anything at all. Blaine was shocked when Kurt spoke again. “At Christmas, we need to have a mature heart-to-heart. And maybe if it’s cold enough, we can go ice skating on the Auglaize River and get hot chocolate. Anywhere but the Lima Bean because when I was working there, I saw a mouse.” 

Blaine let out a broken laugh at the thought. “So we’re gonna see each other at Christmas?” He asked, suddenly more confused than he was excited. He was afraid of what could happen when Kurt came back and he felt like now he had more to think about than just whether or not he loved Kurt. He didn’t want to lose his friends again. All of the drama with the Warblers opened his eyes to how horrible he felt when he isolated himself from all of them, Sebastian included. He didn’t want to get back together with Kurt and immediately abandon all of them again before he even had a chance to make things right with the Warblers. 

“Yeah,” Kurt responded. 

Blaine was silent for another moment, trying to think of a way to continue the conversation. The noise that signaled they had five minutes until the New Directions needed to be onstage. The show circle usually began at three minutes until showtime, so Blaine knew he needed to end the call soon. 

Just as he was about to speak, Kurt interrupted his thoughts. “Well don’t let any of those hideous Warblers win, alright?” 

Blaine’s eyes widened as he realized Kurt didn’t know about the drama with the Warblers. He didn’t have time to explain everything right now, and he didn’t want to jeopardize his progress with Kurt by bringing up Sebastian, so he tried to think of a good way to explain what happened. “Oh, the Warblers actually aren’t competing.” 

“What? Why?” 

Blaine hesitated, still worried about saying the wrong thing. “It’s kind of a long story. There’s some information on the show choir blogs and if you want, I can fill you in later. I have to go perform but thank you for calling.” 

At first, Blaine was met with silence. He hoped Kurt wouldn’t pick up on his feelings about the Warblers. “Oh, well, I’ll talk to Finn about it tonight after the show. Break a leg.” Kurt responded. Something about his tone seemed to change, but Blaine couldn’t quite figure out why. “Happy Thanksgiving.” 

“Happy Thanksgiving,” Blaine replied, still confused about Kurt’s sudden mood shift. He hung up a moment later and walked back to the rest of the New Directions while he wiped the tears away from his eyes. Before the show circle, he checked his phone one last time to see if Sebastian had texted, and then he tossed it to the side before going on stage. 

Marley looked much better after her conversation with Finn and Santana and after hearing from Kurt, Blaine felt a lot better about the performance as well. The show circle seemed to motivate everyone, and they performed the best they possibly could, even if Finn’s setlist was horrible. When the performance was finally over, the New Directions rushed out of the auditorium and into the choir room to wait for the results. “When we win, everyone is coming over to my place to party! Burt and Carole are getting pizzas and we’re gonna do karaoke and stuff, it’ll be awesome,” Sam announced to everyone. “Blaine, you have to come this time. I need my best bro in order for it to be a real party.” 

“Yeah, of course I’ll be there,” Blaine agreed. He kept glancing at his phone hoping that Sebastian would text him, but he still hadn’t heard anything. He was about to text him again when the results came in and it was time for the New Directions to go back on stage. He once again left his phone in the choir room while he followed his friends back into the auditorium. 

“And in first place from McKinley High School the New Directions!” 

Everyone started jumping around and hugging each other. The look on Finn’s face was priceless as he accepted the trophy and held it up for everyone to see. Blaine hugged him first and then turned to Sam and Tina to embrace his closest friends in a group hug. He never doubted that they could beat the Mennonites, but something about winning without Kurt felt more rewarding, even if the competition wasn’t that amazing. He finally felt as if the New Directions were his family, not the friends that were only nice to him because he was dating Kurt. Winning made him feel like he finally belonged at McKinley. It brought back memories of championships long before he ever met Kurt. And he liked that feeling a lot. 

It wasn’t long after the New Directions walked off the stage that Blaine remembered what the Warblers were going through. Luckily, he returned to the choir room to find a text from Sebastian, even if it wasn’t the text he was hoping for. 

_Congratulations. I know you probably have a victory party to attend, but if you don’t, I could really use a friend. -Sebastian_

Blaine smiled at Sebastian’s honesty and was about to text back when he noticed another message from Sebastian come through. 

_Sorry, that was stupid, you need to be with your friends. Go have fun. -Sebastian_

He frowned when he read the follow up text. It seemed like Sebastian was finally ready to confide in him and stop taking his anger out on him, but now he was backtracking. He knew Sebastian wasn’t in a good place if he was desperate enough to reach out and say he needed support, so Blaine knew what he had to do. “Hey, Sam, I don’t think I can come over tonight.” 

“What? Why? You skipped the opening night cast party; you can’t skip this, too.” 

Sam looked upset and Blaine didn’t blame him, but he knew he needed to be there for Sebastian. After all, the New Directions would have more victory parties, but the Warblers wouldn’t. “I promise I’ll make it up to you.” 

It was never very hard to get Sam’s forgiveness for anything. He was by far the most understanding person Blaine had ever met. “Okay, but are you still going Black Friday shopping with me tomorrow? I really want that new video game and I remember that you said you wanted to pick out some new clothes without Kurt.” 

“Yeah, for sure. I’ll text you in the morning and we can figure it out,” Blaine agreed. Sam gave him a fist bump before running off to the parking lot with Brittany. As Blaine sat down in his car, he finally typed out a response to Sebastian. 

_I’m coming over. Are you at your parents’ house or Dalton? -Blaine_

_You really don’t need to come. I shouldn’t have texted. -Sebastian_

Blaine rolled his eyes as he read Sebastian’s text. He should have known that if he texted Blaine saying he wanted him to be there, he would be there as fast as he could. Sebastian said it himself: Blaine is an “incredible friend”. 

_Shut up, I’m coming. Where are you? -Blaine_

_That’s what he said ;) -Sebastian_

Of course. Sebastian never missed an opportunity for a dirty joke no matter how serious the situation was. 

_Sorry I had to. And since you can’t let it go, I’m at Dalton. But seriously, don’t come. -Sebastian_

That was all Blaine needed to put his car in drive and begin the hour-long drive to Dalton. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Sorry the chapter is a little late this week- I hope everyone who's American had a great holiday week! Anyway, this chapter is pretty timely given it's taking place immediately after the Thanksgiving episode of Glee, so I hope it's a fun somewhat festive chapter for you all. Comments and kudos are always appreciated :) 
> 
> CW: this chapter gets a bit sexually explicit (which I like to warn people about because I personally do not like it when anything smutty sneaks up on me)

Blaine spent the entire drive to Dalton thinking about what he would find when he walked through the door to Sebastian’s dorm. Not only did Sebastian lose his last chance to win a show choir competition, but he also wasn’t spending Thanksgiving with his family which seemed alarming, especially given the threat of expulsion on the horizon. He turned on the radio in the car but couldn’t seem to find a station that fit the mood he was in. He settled on a throwback station from the early 2000s when he eventually decided that nothing would be enough to get his focus off of Sebastian and onto something else. 

When he finally arrived at Dalton, he parked his car in the guest lot and walked into the dorm building that Sebastian lived in. The guy sitting at the front desk was confused as to why some kid dressed in an all-black suit and tie was at the Dalton Academy dorms on Thanksgiving, but Sebastian had called ahead that Blaine would be coming, likely knowing Blaine wouldn’t listen to his request to stay home, so he was free to go upstairs to Sebastian’s dorm. 

He tried knocking a few times before he heard a response. “Hi,” Sebastian mumbled as he opened the door for Blaine to come in. His eyes were much redder than they had been that night at his parents’ house, and he was wearing a black t-shirt with grey sweatpants. It looked like he hadn’t gotten out of bed in hours. “You really didn’t need to come. I shouldn’t have texted you.” 

Blaine rested his hand on Sebastian’s arm and squeezed it lightly to reassure him that he wanted to be there. “I’m glad you texted me. You shouldn’t be alone.” 

“It’s just a stupid show choir competition,” Sebastian shot back as he sat down on his bed. 

Blaine took a seat text to him. “It’s not stupid. I know you don’t think that.” 

“I was going to come tonight. It would’ve been nice to watch you perform. I drove halfway there before I decided I couldn’t do it,” Sebastian explained, his head turning away from Blaine. 

“I didn’t expect you to come,” Blaine acknowledged, taking Sebastian’s hand in his. 

Sebastian’s eyes avoided Blaine as they fixated on his window. “Happy Thanksgiving,” Sebastian mumbled sarcastically. It was kind of an odd thing to say in the moment, but the more Blaine thought about it, the more it made sense. Sebastian spent his Thanksgiving in bed for most of the day, upset over the competition. Blaine spent his Thanksgiving at a show choir competition. It certainly wasn’t the ideal celebration. But something told Blaine there was more to that comment. The hint of sarcasm in Sebastian’s tone indicated that this Thanksgiving was everything but happy. “Why didn’t you spend it with your family?” Blaine decided to ask. 

“Because my parents are fucking assholes,” Sebastian explained, as if it should have been obvious. “I called my mom this morning to let her know I wasn’t busy today anymore and she lost her fucking mind because she heard about the drug stuff from the headmaster.” 

Blaine held onto Sebastian’s hand as he spoke. He wanted to show his support but hearing Sebastian talk about his family broke him. Sure, he wasn’t close with his dad either, but at least he had the support of his mom most of the time, and he had other family members he enjoyed talking to at Thanksgiving dinner. It didn’t seem like Sebastian had anyone. “They’re hypocrites, too. My dad has a stash of cocaine in his office and my mom is drunk at least half of the time because god forbid she ever deals with what’s really going on.” The choked tone of his voice startled Blaine as he realized how close to crying Sebastian was once again. “They caught me smoking weed once and… well, it was really bad. Thank god my drug test came back clean and all the Warblers testified in my favor, so the suspension didn’t go through. I don’t know what they would have done.” 

“Sebastian, I’m…” 

“But my sister’s a fucking angel. She can do no wrong. She’s fucking half the football team at her school and she’s totally lying about being on the debate team just so she can party all the time, but of course she’s the perfect child,” Sebastian explained in a mocking voice. “Plus, my dad is definitely cheating on my mom. The worst part is I’m pretty sure she knows and just pretends she doesn’t so we can continue looking like the perfect family even though every one of us is fucking miserable.” 

Blaine found himself at a loss for words as he listened to Sebastian finally open up about his family. He wanted to do something to help but really what Sebastian needed was for somebody to listen, so he kept quiet and let Sebastian continue. “I never get to do anything right.” It was clear Sebastian was holding back tears and Blaine desperately wanted to reassure him that he could cry, that Blaine would never judge him. His heart broke when he saw someone who was normally so confident falling apart like this. “I just wanted to win this stupid competition and prove I had it in me to lead a winning team. But I shouldn’t care; it’s not like it would have changed anything. I would’ve gone home for the weekend and told my family, and everything would have stayed the exact same. It’s always the exact same.” 

As Sebastian sat in front of him on the verge of tears, Blaine couldn’t help but give in to his instincts as he embraced his friend in a tight hug. At first, Sebastian resisted the contact. He didn’t push Blaine away, but he did try to turn around. He definitely didn’t hug Blaine back. But after a few moments of Blaine holding onto him, refusing to pull away, Sebastian gave in and wrapped his arms around Blaine’s back, burying his head on Blaine’s shoulder. His silent tears soon soaked up Blaine’s shirt, but he didn’t mind. Blaine responded by rubbing Sebastian’s back as he quietly sobbed into his shoulder. 

Blaine felt Sebastian’s arms drop so he pulled away from the hug to look at him for a moment. He looked so broken. His eyes were wide and filled with tears and his whole face was turning a light shade of red. For the first time that night, he looked into Blaine’s eyes and it was like every part of him had fallen apart, like Blaine’s presence was the only thing keeping him from completely collapsing. Blaine just let out a sigh of relief that he listened to his instinct and came to see him because he had no idea what condition Sebastian would be in if he hadn’t. Once again, Blaine found himself staring into Sebastian’s eyes as Sebastian stared at his lips, that same way he always did. He knew he shouldn’t kiss him; Sebastian told him himself that he didn’t want anything to happen if Blaine wasn’t over Kurt. 

As all of these thoughts ran through Blaine’s mind, his mind drifted to his conversation with Kurt earlier in the night, how detached and confused he felt the entire time. It was as if Blaine didn’t have any interest in following up with the conversation and he couldn’t figure out why. He didn’t want to defy Sebastian’s wishes and he certainly didn’t want to ruin all of the progress in their friendship by kissing him, but the way Sebastian was staring at him, so desperate to feel loved, to feel something other than pain… 

Blaine didn’t think for another second. His lips connected with Sebastian’s as his hands found the taller boy’s lower back, pulling him closer. At first, Sebastian was stunned, and his lips barely moved, but to Blaine’s surprise, Sebastian eventually kissed back. He could taste the other boy’s tears on his lips, but he didn’t care. At that moment, he would have done anything to make Sebastian feel okay again. 

He tried his best to enjoy the kiss, but he couldn’t in good faith continue without making sure it was okay, especially after their conversation about Kurt and rebounds and Sebastian’s past in Paris. Blaine pulled away and stared at Sebastian for a moment. His voice left his lips in a whisper, clearly hesitant to ruin the connection. “I’m sorry, are you sure you…” Before he could finish, Sebastian’s hand wrapped around the back of Blaine’s neck as he pulled him in for another kiss. Every comment he made about not wanting to lose the friendship and refusing to be the rebound went out the window as Sebastian’s tongue pushed against the other boy’s lips. His hand found Blaine’s hair and gently gripped the back of his head as he pulled him in closer. 

Sebastian’s tears stopped falling as the kiss intensified and Blaine found himself being gently pushed down on the bed so that Sebastian was leaning on top of him as they kissed. He used one arm to hold himself up on top of Blaine while the other roamed all over Blaine’s body. It started on his chest and then slowly moved toward his back and then down until he was gripping at Blaine’s ass. 

The feeling of Sebastian’s body against his, his lips pressing into Blaine’s, provoked Blaine’s entire body to curve into Sebastian’s. He found himself gasping for air as Sebastian removed himself from Blaine’s lips and started sucking on his neck. The combination of Sebastian’s lips on his neck and his hands on his ass led to Blaine instinctively pulling on Sebastian’s hair, signaling that he wanted this to continue, that he would do anything for Sebastian to keep doing exactly what he was doing. 

It wasn’t long before Sebastian was pulling at Blaine’s shirt. He unbuttoned the black vest that was part of the New Directions’ sectionals costume using only one hand. His tie came off next and Sebastian didn’t dare remove himself from Blaine’s neck as he worked at his clothes. 

Blaine knew he shouldn’t be doing this. He knew Sebastian didn’t want to risk losing their friendship. But he couldn’t stop himself. Their lips felt like they were meant to connect with each other. This was different than the last time; Blaine wouldn’t think about Kurt. He wouldn’t feel guilty. But of course, he did. Still, he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind as he helped Sebastian slide his shirt off his shoulders. 

As his bare chest became exposed, Blaine felt desperate for skin-to-skin contact. His hands toyed with the hem of Sebastian’s t-shirt for only a moment before he lifted it over his head and their lips connected again. Blaine’s hand rested on Sebastian’s bare chest, slowly sliding down as he felt the other boy’s abs. They continued like this for a while, skin against skin as Blaine pushed every possible thought of Kurt behind him. This is what he wanted, and Kurt wouldn’t stop him from getting it anymore. 

Sebastian pulled away first, and for a second, Blaine thought it was over. He frowned as Sebastian stared at him, breathing heavily with his legs straddled around Blaine’s waist. “Take off your pants,” Sebastian said instead. It wasn’t over; Sebastian wanted it to continue. 

Blaine let out a sigh of relief as he removed his belt and quickly unbuttoned his pants. He was about to pull them down when he noticed something in Sebastian’s eyes. It was doubt. He was sitting right in front of him about to go down on him and clearly unsure of what he actually wanted to do. With everything in him, Blaine wished he could ignore it. He knew if he didn’t do anything to stop Sebastian right away, it would be too late, and he might regret it forever. But god, the feeling of his body on top of him, his lips travelling all over his body… 

He needed to make this stop. He had to be the person Sebastian needed him to be. “Sebastian, I don’t think…” 

“Will you just stop talking? I’m so sick of talking,” Sebastian rolled his eyes as he leaned down and started to help himself to Blaine’s pants. 

“No, I know you’re not thinking right now, and I know that you’re hurting but I don’t think you’re sure that this is what you want,” Blaine explained, each word taking a little piece of his heart. He knew this would change everything. If he pulled away now, he might not ever be able to take it back. He wanted to protect Sebastian, but it felt so good not to. 

Blaine was expecting Sebastian to feel relieved that he gave him a way out. He thought that Sebastian’s command for him to take off his own pants was his way of telling him he couldn’t do it himself and that he needed Blaine’s encouragement. But after a moment of silence, Sebastian stared into Blaine’s eyes, any hint of sadness and tears gone. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he answered. 

Blaine knew that wasn’t enough. He had wanted this for a long time, too, but that didn’t mean it was the right thing to do at that moment in time. Sebastian knew about Blaine’s lingering feelings for Kurt. He knew this wouldn’t solve all of their problems. But Blaine couldn’t help himself. The way Sebastian’s big green eyes were staring at him, he felt like he would never be able to stop again. 

Sebastian didn’t wait for a response. He slowly removed the remaining fabric from Blaine’s body and took him in his hand, starting to stroke him as he stared into Blaine’s eyes. Given this new development, Blaine found it almost impossible to stop. He reminded himself over and over again that he shouldn’t be doing this, but it no longer had anything to do with Kurt and instead had everything to do with Sebastian. He wanted him so badly, but he didn’t know if it was for the right reasons. Sebastian _just_ told him he didn’t want to be Blaine’s rebound, and now all Blaine could think about was upsetting him. 

“What’s wrong?” Sebastian asked as he paused what he was doing. He must have noticed something was up. 

Blaine tried to say something that would help Sebastian see they couldn’t fix everything with sex, but he couldn’t get the words out. Something changed in Sebastian. All of that doubt was gone, and he just looked ready, and a little bit annoyed that Blaine kept interrupting him. “Keep going,” Blaine mumbled, kicking himself because he couldn’t convince himself to tell him what was going on. 

Before Blaine could say another word, Sebastian took him in his mouth, moving his tongue in such a way that Blaine knew he was a lost cause. All thoughts of what would happen when it was over disappeared from his mind as he focused on Sebastian’s mouth closing in around him, his tongue teasing him while Blaine took a fistful of the other boy’s hair. Sebastian moaned at the feeling, taking the motion as a signal that what he was doing was working. 

Kurt never did stuff like this. Everything was so basic between them; they would watch a movie, fool around for a bit, and then fall asleep. But the fooling around was always the exact same. Sure, it felt good, but it was by no means amazing and it certainly wasn’t interesting, which Blaine didn’t even realize until now. This was the most pleasure he had ever felt. 

Sebastian could clearly sense the pleasure the other boy was feeling as they locked eyes. Sebastian’s green orbs were filled with the most lustful expression, something that forced Blaine to clench his eyes shut because the gaze was simply too much to handle in combination with the sensations being created by his tongue. Blaine was never the most dominant person, and especially never expected to be anything close to that with Sebastian, but he felt so empowered by Sebastian’s movements that he used the hand that was buried in Sebastian’s hair to guide his head back and forth. The motion led Sebastian to smile a bit, as much as he could given his mouth was preoccupied with something else. “Oh god, Sebastian…” Blaine moaned, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. 

As he pushed himself into the back of Sebastian’s throat, Blaine’s breathing was so heavy he couldn’t hear himself think. “Fuck,” Blaine said in a loud whisper, gripping Sebastian’s hair so hard he thought he might pull it out while his other hand held onto the sheets beneath him, his knuckles turning white. Blaine could tell he was on the edge, about to collapse from the pleasure, but before he could, Sebastian backed off, slowed down a little bit, just to build up the anticipation. “Holy shit, please don’t stop,” Blaine begged, grabbing Sebastian’s shoulder. Sebastian pulled away for a moment with a smirk before slowly reconnecting with Blaine, taking him in the back of his throat once again. Blaine thrusted himself into Sebastian’s mouth as hard as he could with his back arched and his hand forcing Sebastian down on him. 

Sebastian’s hands held onto Blaine’s thighs as his head bobbed up and down to the direction of Blaine’s hands. “Did you say you wanted me to stop?” Sebastian asked with a smirk as his lips disconnected and he gazed into Blaine’s eyes. 

“God no, please keep going,” Blaine moaned as he tightened his grip on Sebastian’s hair and pushed his head back down again. 

It only took another two thrusts into Sebastian’s mouth before he came in the back of Sebastian’s throat. Almost immediately, Blaine’s entire body collapsed, and his fingers lost their grip in Sebastian’s hair. He took the time to weakly run his hand through Sebastian’s slightly damp hair as he tried to catch his breath. While Blaine tried to regain his strength, Sebastian used his tongue to clean up the area, making it a point to hold eye contact with Blaine while he did it. He slowly kissed Blaine’s sweat soaked body as he made his way back up to his lips, pulling him in for a weak kiss. 

Blaine’s eyelids were weak, barely able to remain open as he lifted his hand and ran it through his own hair. There was little trace of gel remaining in his hair and his curls were starting to emerge amidst the sweat. As he tried to catch his breath, he noticed Sebastian staring at him in awe. “What?” Blaine asked, concerned that Sebastian was already regretting the whole thing. 

“You look hot,” Sebastian smirked, resting a hand on Blaine’s chest. 

Blaine smiled in response, happy that Sebastian actually seemed okay. He was terrified that this would ruin everything, that the interaction would put them right back to the fight they had at Sebastian’s house. Sebastian collapsed beside him, reaching for Blaine to play with his hair as they locked eyes. Blaine wanted to say something, figured he probably should say something so Sebastian knew he wasn’t freaking out. But there were no words that came to mind, and the more he tried to think, the more every single phrase seemed wrong. Instead, he just stared, a disbelieving smile spread across his lips. 

Sebastian looked as if he was feeling the same way, content with the silence but questioning every second of it. But Blaine could never really read him, never get a sense of whether he would start yelling or crying or smiling at the next moment. 

They laid there for a while like this, without saying another word, until Blaine finally had the energy to get up to use the bathroom, realizing it was the best possible way to break the ice. “Can I borrow some clothes? I only have dress pants.” 

Sebastian stood up and dug through his drawers for a while before he found some sweatpants with the Dalton logo embroidered on them for him to wear. He tossed the pants toward him, smirking. “I think you should just stay shirtless for now.” 

Blaine felt himself blush at the comment, still awed by Sebastian’s seductive nature. After giving Sebastian a teasing grin, he disappeared into the bathroom to change and freshen up. He stared at himself for a while in the mirror, trying to figure out how he felt. He knew he should feel guilty, but he didn’t. Everything about this felt right and he couldn’t imagine why something that felt so amazing could possibly be wrong. What happened with Eli felt wrong. But this? No way. He was single and so was Sebastian. He wanted to stop trying so hard not to hurt Kurt. It felt really good when he stopped trying. 

Blaine returned to the room a while later to find Sebastian lying on his bed staring at the ceiling, still in only his sweatpants and in almost the same position Blaine left him in. Blaine slowly approached the bed and laid down next to him, reaching for his hand. “Are you okay?” He asked, suddenly worried once again that they made a mistake that Sebastian would hate himself for. 

“That depends,” Sebastian said, turning his head to look at Blaine. “Are you?” 

Blaine couldn’t help but smile at the sentiment. Even after the horrible day Sebastian had, he wanted to check in on Blaine first. “I’m fantastic,” Blaine replied a little too enthusiastically. 

It was evidently the answer Sebastian wanted to hear because his lips broke into a small smile at the comment. “Oh really? Fantastic?” 

“If I’m being completely honest, I had no idea anything could feel that good,” Blaine acknowledged. He knew Sebastian didn’t necessarily need an ego boost in the sex department, but he couldn’t help it; it really did feel fantastic. He didn’t want to admit to himself why Sebastian was so fantastic, but he knew it probably had to do with the hundreds of other dicks he had probably sucked in the past few months. 

Sebastian smirked and leaned in closer, his lips only inches away from Blaine’s. “Oh, so that’s why you came so fast,” he joked, his breath warm on the other boy’s lips. Blaine gently shoved him in response. “Seriously, though. I’m not surprised that Hummel wasn’t doing it for you.” 

The comment surprised Blaine. He didn’t expect Sebastian to voluntarily discuss his relationship with Kurt. “If you must know, I’m pretty sure Kurt only blew me like twice the entire two years we were together.” 

“Wow, I’m honestly impressed you didn’t break up with him sooner.” 

“Clearly I didn’t know what I was missing out on,” Blaine smirked, closing the last inch between them with a kiss. Sebastian’s hand moved to the back of Blaine’s neck as he pulled him closer, playfully sucking on his upper lip. 

No matter how tired he was, Blaine couldn’t help but melt into the kiss. His hand ventured lower, moving along Sebastian’s chest with nothing more than a light touch of the fingertips. Sebastian released a small moan at the touch as he licked Blaine’s upper lip, prompting Blaine to slowly open his mouth and let Sebastian in. 

It all felt so intimate to Blaine, who had spent the longest time thinking Sebastian didn’t want anything more from him than a fuck buddy. Maybe that was still true, but it definitely didn’t feel like it as Blaine’s fingers slipped into Sebastian’s pants and sent a light scratch down his thigh. He desperately wanted Sebastian to feel as amazing as he felt, but he knew he didn’t have the energy to do anything right then. Instead, he settled on gently teasing him with his hand, touching him everywhere he could and listening to the soft barely audible moans that occasionally released from the other boy’s lips. 

Sebastian smiled into their kiss as he felt Blaine’s fingers on him. “We should do this again sometime,” he whispered into Blaine’s mouth, refusing to pull away from the kiss. Blaine smiled in response, unable to pull his lips away. 

Their lips stayed glued together, barely moving anymore as they were both close to falling asleep. Blaine’s hand remained beneath Sebastian’s pants with only his thumb drawing smooth patterns on his leg. 

Blaine pulled away first and curled himself into Sebastian’s body to position himself to fall asleep. Sebastian didn’t protest; he just moved along with Blaine, wrapping his arms around him to compliment the position. He kissed his neck before positioning his head on Blaine’s shoulder. “Goodnight, Killer,” he whispered into Blaine’s ear with a kiss. 

As Blaine tried to process all that he was feeling, he really couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He was overwhelmed by it all, unable to have the conversation they probably needed to have until he could think straight again. This certainly wasn’t going to be easy, especially knowing Kurt was interested in talking again. But all of those were things that would need to be sorted out later, sometime when Sebastian’s body wasn’t intertwined with his. “Goodnight,” Blaine finally hummed as he took Sebastian’s hand in his and fell asleep right there in his arms, desperately trying not to worry about the future. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a little late- I'm busy with finals and stuff right now, but finally got around to posting. This chapter is mostly fluff and filler that I felt was necessary. Kudos & comments are always appreciated :)

It was nine in the morning by the time Blaine woke up to Sebastian still sound asleep next to him, his arms still wrapped tight around him. As much as he wanted to stay lying there all day, Blaine knew he needed to go shopping with Sam, especially after not coming to the party the night before or opening night of Grease. Just like he normally would, Blaine reached for his phone and checked his recent messages to see if he missed anything important. There were dozens from Sam reminding him of their plans to go shopping and telling him stories from the party that he missed. Tina had texted a few pictures from the party and then asked where Blaine ran off to. But the most shocking message was the one from Kurt. 

_It was nice talking last night. Finn caught me up on everything with the Warblers. Congrats on the sectionals victory! :) -Kurt_

Blaine stared at the text for a while trying to figure out how he should respond. He had almost forgotten Sebastian was right next to him as he tried to think of a response to Kurt. He felt an overwhelming sense of guilt when he realized Kurt might finally be giving him a chance and he had already hooked up with someone else. As he contemplated what he could say or do about the situation, he still couldn’t figure out what he wanted in the first place. He loved Kurt and he always felt as if Kurt was his soulmate. 

On the other hand, Kurt never made him feel the way Sebastian did. It wasn’t just the orgasm and the deep kisses. Sebastian made him feel sexy, like he was attractive and shouldn’t be afraid to be confident in his appearance and his talents. When he was with Sebastian, it felt like he was on top of the world, like he was respected as an equal and someone with their own personality outside of their relationship. With Kurt, he was one half of a whole. With Sebastian, he didn’t need another half; he was just himself. 

He never expected to feel so conflicted over Kurt and Sebastian. It had always been Kurt, after all. Sebastian was never an option because he just met and fell in love with Kurt first. Maybe the reason he never thought of Sebastian as an option was fear. He was scared to leave Kurt behind. Now it didn’t seem so scary. 

_Thanks! How was your Thanksgiving? -Blaine_

He decided to keep his response simple and open-ended rather than jumping to the heavy questions he wasn’t ready to ask. Not only did he feel guilty about his night with Sebastian for Kurt’s sake, but he also felt guilty for thinking so much about Kurt the morning after. Sebastian would be horrified if he could hear the thoughts in Blaine’s mind as he laid in bed staring at the ceiling and contemplating his relationship with Kurt. 

Another factor to consider was what he even had with Sebastian to begin with. Sure, he was attracted to Sebastian, and they had some great conversations. The blow job was nothing short of fantastic and he loved spending time with him. But Sebastian didn’t know what it meant to be in a relationship. He’d never had a boyfriend for more than 20 minutes and he rarely even slept with the same guy more than once. Was it even worth considering Sebastian as a possibility when deciding what to do about Kurt? Just as the question crossed his mind, he received a response from Kurt. 

_It was great actually. Isabelle brought some friends over to the loft & Rachel attempted to cook a turkey which was hilarious. How was yours? -Kurt _

Blaine had no idea how he could respond to that. He spent his entire day preparing for sectionals and his entire night in bed with Sebastian which he obviously couldn’t tell Kurt. He decided he would leave out some details in his reply and hope that Kurt would never figure it out. 

_It was mostly just sectionals rehearsal and then the performance last night, so I didn’t really have an actual Thanksgiving. But I had a pretty good day. -Blaine_

He decided the less details the better. If Kurt never found out about what happened between him and Sebastian, he would be in good shape. Kurt responded right away. 

_Finn said you didn’t end up at the after party. Did you at least get to have a Thanksgiving dinner with your family? -Kurt_

Blaine stared at the message, trying to decide if he should lie or not. He didn’t know what he could possibly say that would justify not going to the party, but sectionals ended so late that he never would have made it home in time for his family dinner. No matter what he said, it would be obvious that something was up. “Are you gonna tell him?” Sebastian’s voice asked, startling Blaine. 

He had no idea Sebastian was awake, much less reading his messages over his shoulder. Blaine flipped his phone upside down in shock, worried about what Sebastian would think. He definitely didn’t want him panicking about being a rebound again because that didn’t feel good at all. “I guess we’re talking again.” 

“I can see that,” Sebastian replied. Blaine tried to read his expression, but he couldn’t figure out what Sebastian was thinking. He was one of the most difficult people to read when he wanted to be. 

Blaine set his phone on the floor and then turned to face Sebastian, a little self-conscious of his morning breath but ready to recreate the morning the way it should have gone. “Can we try this again?” He asked, taking Sebastian’s hand and leaning in closer. 

“If you’re referring to last night, I’d be happy to give it another go…” 

“As tempting as that is, I was referring to what we say when we wake up together,” Blaine said as he squeezed Sebastian’s hand. 

One of Sebastian’s eyebrows raised. “And what’s that?” 

“Good morning, how’d you sleep, I had fun last night, stuff like that,” Blaine explained in a mockingly condescending tone. He was trying to keep it light-hearted and fun to avoid talking about the Kurt situation. 

Sebastian smirked and rolled himself on top of Blaine. “How’s this?” He leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “Good morning.” Another peck on the lips. “How’d you sleep?” Another peck. “I had fun last night.” 

Blaine’s eyes fluttered shut as he enjoyed the brief touch of their lips. “I had a really fun night, too,” Blaine smiled as his hand reached around Sebastian’s back. “And I slept fantastic.” 

“That word again… it seems like maybe you find spending time with me to be fantastic,” Sebastian said with a smirk before moving his lips to Blaine’s ear and whispering softly, “bet you can’t say that about the other guy you were texting in my bed.” 

Blaine smiled at the touch. “Now that you mention it…” 

Sebastian’s hands moved along Blaine’s bare chest until they reached the hem of his pants. “Maybe we should test that theory some more.” 

His hand started to slip under Blaine’s pants just as Blaine’s phone started to ring. He wanted to ignore it, but he knew he couldn’t make Sam wait any longer. “Sorry, it’s Sam. I have plans with him today that I really can’t break,” Blaine justified before picking up the phone. “Hey, Sam.” 

“Dude, where have you been? I’ve been texting you all morning,” Sam exclaimed, sounding way more energized than Blaine was at that time in the morning. 

Blaine tried to think of an easy excuse, but he couldn’t come up with anything. He decided there was no harm in telling Sam the truth since he already knew so much about his relationship with Sebastian. After all, Sam was the one encouraging all of this from the beginning. “I’m with Sebastian, actually.” 

Sebastian’s eyes widened. Blaine figured he would be surprised by Blaine’s willingness to talk about his fling with Sebastian with anyone from the New Directions. Something about it must have turned Sebastian on because he started kissing Blaine’s neck as he spoke to Sam. “No way, I’m so proud of you. So did the phone call with Kurt yesterday help you sort stuff out then?” Sam asked. 

Blaine’s head immediately turned to Sebastian who stopped kissing him the moment he heard Kurt’s name. “Can we talk about this later?” Blaine asked, hoping this wouldn’t shut Sebastian out again. 

“Yeah totally. What time are we meeting at the Lima mall? Also is it cool if Britt comes?” Sam questioned, oblivious to the panic in Blaine’s tone. 

Before answering, Blaine checked the time on his phone. He could be ready to meet up at the mall in a few hours if he was efficient. “Noon? And yeah, of course she can come.” 

“Okay yeah, and Sebastian can come if you want him to. It seems like you really like hanging out with him,” Sam replied. Blaine was still shocked by Sam’s eagerness to have everyone getting along without any conflict, especially given their history with the Warblers and Sebastian specifically. 

Blaine thought about it and then looked at Sebastian whose expression was blank. “I’ll ask him about it,” he replied. “I’ll see you in a couple hours.” He hung up the phone and then stared at Sebastian, hoping he would break the silence first. “You talked to Kurt yesterday?” Sebastian asked, clearly trying to shield the hurt in his voice. “Why didn’t you tell me last night?” 

A sigh left Blaine’s lips as he tried to think of the best way to explain. “He called me right before we were supposed to go onstage. We didn’t really talk about anything, just that he’s trying to forgive me and wants to hang out over Christmas break when he’s here.” 

Sebastian tried to comprehend the explanation without showing Blaine how he felt. “So he wants to get back together?” “He didn’t say that.” 

“Would you get back together with him if he did?” 

Of course Sebastian had to ask the question he still had no answer to. He honestly had no idea what he would do if Kurt forgave him and wanted to try again. “I would need to think about it.” 

“So you could just pretend he didn’t ignore you for weeks when he first moved to New York and then didn’t speak to you for weeks because you made a dumb mistake all so that you can call a guy your boyfriend who doesn’t even appreciate you?” Sebastian interrogated, almost glaring at Blaine. 

Blaine stared back. “I said I would need to think about it. Obviously those are all factors in my decision.” 

Sebastian’s eyes met Blaine’s for a heartwarming moment as Sebastian whispered, “Would I be a factor?” It was so quiet it felt as if Sebastian didn’t want Blaine to hear him. He still hesitated in revealing his vulnerabilities. 

“I want you to be,” Blaine answered honestly. If Sebastian wanted to be in his life and to be with him in some way, Blaine would want that, too. But there were too many different things to consider. “You should come with to the mall today.” He decided the best way to evaluate his feelings was through observing Sebastian in a less private and less sexual setting. Maybe if he made an effort to fit in with his friends, he would be worth taking a chance on. 

It took a moment, but Sebastian eventually smiled, unable to contain his gratitude at being invited. “You really want me to hang out with you and your friends?” 

“Only if you want to,” Blaine replied. He hoped Sebastian would say yes. He didn’t want their perfect night together to end so soon. 

“You know if I come, Kurt is definitely going to find out,” Sebastian reminded him. 

This was something that had crossed Blaine’s mind more times than he would have liked to admit. It was obvious that Kurt didn’t like Sebastian and that he didn’t want Blaine anywhere near him, so if Kurt found out, it was very likely that he would want nothing to do with Blaine after. But he was willing to take that risk. He had already decided that even if Kurt wanted to get back together, it would have to be on the condition that Kurt doesn’t get to isolate Blaine from his friends. He missed being around Sebastian and the Warblers and felt as if he lost so many of his friends because of his relationship with Kurt. “That’s okay with me.” 

Sebastian smiled and gave Blaine a kiss on the cheek before standing up to get ready. “Alright, I’m going to take a shower and get ready, then we can stop at your place before we meet them at the mall.” 

###### 

“There’s definitely a reason why I do most of my shopping in Europe,” Sebastian said as he and Blaine walked through the Lima mall on their way to meet Sam and Brittany. He looked at the stores around them, disgusted by the lack of wealth and designer labels. “What the hell is Five Below?” 

Blaine rolled his eyes at Sebastian’s disgust. “Everything in it costs less than five dollars.” 

“Gross.” He continued looking around, trying to find something that matched his taste. “Luxury Nails and Spa my ass.” Blaine burst out laughing at the comment. “It’s just the name.” 

“None of these stores really seem like places you would shop, either. Unless there’s a secret discount closet in your house that I don’t know about?” 

He shook his head in response. “Malls like this are more Sam’s speed. I said I’d help him pick out new clothes and he wants to help me dress differently.” 

“Oh, you mean buy some clothes that Kurt didn’t pick out for you?” Sebastian asked, playfully running into Blaine’s arm as they walked close together. Blaine nudged him back, smiling at the joke. He made sure to take note that he was no longer mad whenever Sebastian made fun of Kurt. “Well now you have me for that, and no offense, but I definitely dress better than Sam.” 

Blaine was about to agree when he noticed Sam waving at him from down the hall. Brittany practically ran over to them to pull Blaine into a tight hug. “We thought you were gonna ditch us,” she exclaimed, kissing Blaine on the cheek. “Hi Fievel Warbler.” 

Sebastian shot Blaine a confused expression before Sam could explain. “That’s what Santana calls you most of the time.” “Wait, I thought that was your name. Now I’m confused,” Brittany sighed, looking at Sebastian for an explanation. 

Sebastian tried not to get upset since he already kind of knew how Brittany was and he definitely knew about all of Santana’s nicknames. “It’s actually Sebastian,” he explained, only a subtle hint of sarcasm. 

“Huh, I like Fievel better,” Brittany shrugged. 

Sebastian didn’t seem to mind Brittany’s lack of attention to his real name and Blaine appreciated his playing along with her. He knew he and Sebastian didn’t stand a chance if he couldn’t get along with his friends. They all stopped at a pretzel shop soon after meeting up to get a snack and when they were walking off to their first store with their pretzels, Sam hung behind the group to make sure he and Blaine had a chance to talk. “So how was it?” He asked, grinning as he took a bite of his pretzel. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You definitely had sex last night,” Sam explained casually. 

Blaine’s eyes widened as he stared at Sam. “What? No, why would you…” 

“Dude, you’re like glowing or something. You look like Finn the day after Rachel let him touch her boobs.” 

Blaine was shocked at Sam’s observation. He never expected him of all people to be able to guess what happened between him and Sebastian. “Well we didn’t have sex, but something may have happened.” 

Sam reached his hand up for a high-five, almost dropping his pretzel in the process. “Dude, congrats! It’s about time you stopped moping around and got some.” 

“Relax, it was awesome, but I don’t know what it means yet,” Blaine acknowledged with a shrug. More than anything, he wanted to skip to the part where he had it all figured out. He wanted Sebastian to say how he felt and for the situation with Kurt to work itself out. Not knowing what would happen was hard, but he knew he had a lot to think about before even considering a relationship with Sebastian. 

Sam rolled his eyes and stopped walking. “So figure it out. Stop waiting around and make it happen for yourself. You don’t want to miss out on something great while you sit around and wait to realize that it’s what you want.” 

It seemed so simple, but Blaine had no idea what he wanted. He knew he shouldn’t abandon his love story with Kurt on a whim with Sebastian, but he also didn’t want to make Sebastian feel like a pawn on his way to discovering he was meant to be with Kurt. This wasn’t about that for him at all. How could he possibly care so deeply for two people at the same time? How could he fall for someone when he was already in love with someone else? He knew he needed to talk to Sebastian, to figure out where he stood on the whole thing. But he also didn’t want to pressure him into anything. It was an impossible situation. 

After Sam secured his video game, everyone went into Macy’s to finally pick out some clothes. It was Brittany’s brilliant idea that helped the day turn from good to great. “What if we all pick out outfits for each other? We can do funny outfits or serious outfits, then everyone has to buy at least one of the items picked out for them.” 

“I love this idea!” Sam’s face lit up. “I call Brittany.” 

Brittany threw her arms around Sam. “I want to dress Fievel Warbler. I already have a vision.” 

“I’ll take Blaine,” Sebastian said with a smirk. 

“I guess that leaves me with Sam,” Blaine said as everyone took off around the store to pick out their outfits. Brittany and Sebastian both disappeared into the costume section which was a terrifying thought to Blaine. Sam was the only one in the women’s section while Blaine spent most of his time looking through suits. 

It was a half hour later when everyone met up in the dressing room. Brittany approached Sebastian first and handed him a cowboy hat, a red button-down shirt, a yellow scarf, and a pair of jeans that were definitely too short for his long legs. “The inspiration was Fievel goes west. I hope you like it,” Brittany smiled as she kissed Sebastian’s cheek and then turned to Sam for him to give her the outfit he picked out. It was much simpler; he just handed her a t-shirt with a cat on it and a skirt he assumed Brittany would like. For Sam, Blaine picked out a full suit that had marijuana leaves plastered all over it. 

As everyone disappeared into the changing rooms to prepare to show the others their outfits, Sebastian approached Blaine and handed him a pair of jeans, a plain white t-shirt, a leather jacket, and several gold necklaces. “Let me guess; your inspiration was early Adam Levine?” Blaine asked, holding the leather jacket in his arm. 

“If I get to dress you however I want, it was either this or the tiniest pair of shorts I could find. You should be happy I didn’t make you put those on for Sam and Brittany,” Sebastian smirked as he went into his own changing room to get ready. 

When Blaine finished putting on his outfit, he was the first one to step out of the dressing room, shortly followed by Sebastian. He broke out laughing at the sight of Sebastian dressed as Fievel. “Wow, this is really a look for you.” He had to applaud Brittany’s creativity for the astounding resemblance to the cartoon character. Something about it was oddly arousing to Blaine, but he decided to keep that to himself until they were out of Sam and Brittany’s earshot. 

Sebastian rolled his eyes, but his focus wasn’t on his own outfit. Blaine could have sworn Sebastian was about to drool when he noticed Blaine in the outfit he picked out. He was never big on leather, but the jacket was definitely a good look on him, and he resembled the Maroon 5 lead singer much better than Sebastian anticipated. “Wow, this is a sexy look. Sing to me right now please,” Sebastian practically begged, unable to keep his hands off of Blaine. 

Blaine rolled his eyes. “I swore I would never sing at a mall again after the Gap Attack incident. You’ll have to wait for later.” He tried to throw in a playful wink at the end. 

Sebastian smirked and leaned in close to Blaine’s ear. “Looking forward to it.” 

Blaine’s eyes shut briefly in excitement, but his thoughts were interrupted when Sam stepped out of the dressing room wearing the marijuana suit. “Dude, I’m wearing this to prom.” He turned around in the suit to show it off to everyone. Brittany walked out of the dressing room a moment later. “I spent five minutes in there trying to find the zipper on this skirt before I realized there wasn’t one,” she explained, trying to justify what took her so long. “I love the shirt, Sam.” She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. 

All of them ended up buying their full outfits except for Sebastian who didn’t feel the need to have a full blown Fievel costume. He did buy the shirt that Brittany picked out when he noticed it was the only item in the outfit he would have any use for. 

It was several hours and six stores later when Blaine realized he never responded to Kurt’s text asking about how he spent his Thanksgiving. It was too late, though. Kurt probably already had a good idea from the pictures Brittany kept posting all over social media of her with Sebastian, Sam, and Blaine at the mall. At the very least, Kurt would know Sebastian was back in the picture and probably not going anywhere in the near future. Surprisingly, Kurt didn’t reach out and acknowledge that he knew anything, which scared Blaine even more. 

He found himself pulling back from the group for the last hour or so of the day when he couldn’t stop thinking about Kurt. Thoughts of his complicated friendship with Sebastian and what it meant for him and Kurt consumed his mind. As much as he didn’t want anyone to notice, he knew it was clear to the others that he was distracted. Eventually, everyone started to seem tired and ready to leave, so the day came to an end. 

Sebastian and Blaine got in Blaine’s car together after spending the entire day shopping. Time passed faster than either of them anticipated and it was dark out by the time they parted ways with Sam and Brittany. Something felt off when they finally returned to the car and Blaine knew it was because of him and his change in mood for the last little bit of shopping, so he turned the car on but didn’t switch it into drive. He felt like something needed to be said. “What are we doing?” Blaine asked instead, leaving the meaning open to interpretation. 

The other boy gave him a confused frown. “What’s wrong? You’ve been acting weird for the last half hour. I thought everything was cool between us.” 

Blaine sighed as he realized Sebastian had noticed the distance between them as well. “I’m fine, I just want to know if I should drive you back to Dalton or if you still want to come over.” 

“Whatever,” Sebastian rolled his eyes, turning away from Blaine. He was putting his defenses up again, taking any chance he could to avoid getting hurt. If Blaine knew anything about Sebastian, it was that he would do anything before he would admit what he was afraid of. He already confessed that he didn’t want to lose Blaine once; he was not going to do it again. 

Blaine was about to shift the car into drive when he shook his head and turned to face Sebastian. “You know what, no. You don’t get to shut me out now. Things were good and I want them to continue to be good, but they can’t be if you won’t just say what you’re thinking.” 

Sebastian avoided looking at him for a long time before finally giving in and making eye contact. “You really want to know what I’m thinking? Exactly what I predicted would happen is happening right now. I saw you check your phone earlier and I know you never responded to Kurt, but ever since you checked it you’ve been acting weird. It’s ridiculous how right I was about everything.” 

“Just because I may not be 100 percent over Kurt does not mean I’m going to abandon you the second he comes back around,” Blaine insisted, reaching for Sebastian’s hand. 

Before he could take it, Sebastian pulled his hand away from Blaine and resumed staring out the window. “I’m not going to be collateral damage on your way to making up with him.” 

“Sebastian, I told you that night at your house that I’m never going to leave you behind again. He put me in a position where I had to choose and I’m never going to let myself get put in that situation again.” This time, Sebastian didn’t pull his hand away and he allowed Blaine to take it into his own. He avoided eye contact still which Blaine didn’t mind given the seriousness of the situation and how quickly everything seemed to escalate. “Let’s just go back to my house. I’ll sing a little Maroon 5 and we’ll see where things go from there. I’m having a lot of fun hanging out with you again and I’m not about to give that up over some texts from my ex-boyfriend.” 

Sebastian gave Blaine a weak smile and a nod, signaling it was okay for Blaine to start driving. They ended up back at Blaine’s house spending the entire night in his room laughing and singing along to Overexposed, trying to avoid thinking about all of the complications of their relationship. No matter the difficulties of the situation, Blaine was sure of one thing: he was not going to be a repeat of Sebastian’s friend from Paris. He would not leave Sebastian behind. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thanks again for continuing to read & stick with me through this story. Things are going to start to heat up a bit going forward, especially with the next couple of chapters after this one so I hope you all continue to read and let me know what you think! Thanks :)

The Saturday following Thanksgiving was weird. Blaine dropped Sebastian off at Dalton in the morning after he spent the night because he had a lacrosse practice to get to and Blaine needed to do some homework. As much as he wanted to stay in his perfect little bubble with Sebastian forever, he knew it wasn’t possible and they needed to return to reality. He finally texted Kurt back that morning, still feeling guilty that he never responded the day before. 

_Hey, sorry for the delayed response. Lost track of time shopping yesterday. Did you get any cool Black Friday deals in NYC? -Blaine_

He decided not to answer the question about how he spent his Thanksgiving. It felt weird responding to it so late, so he decided on ending with an open-ended question and hoped for the best. 

The whole morning after sending the text was spent contemplating his future with Kurt and Sebastian. He felt stupid for feeling so conflicted and upset when he had two amazing guys in his life, but he still needed to figure out his own emotions and couldn’t find a way to do it. 

Winter break was coming up and everyone was so busy with schoolwork and finishing off the semester that Blaine barely heard from either Kurt or Sebastian, which he didn’t mind. He continued meeting Sebastian most days for coffee, but they didn’t hang out much besides that since they both had so much on their plates. There was almost no kissing involved and certainly no more blow jobs given they only saw each other in very public places where they ran the risk of being spotted by someone from McKinley or Dalton. 

By the time Christmas arrived, Blaine desperately needed a break. He loved everything about Christmas time, from getting to see Cooper after so many months apart to decorating the house for the holidays to baking Christmas cookies. Sebastian texted him in the morning on the day before Christmas Eve, making Blaine’s eyes light up with joy. 

_Merry almost Christmas ;) As you know, the Dalton break is notoriously long so I’m going to need something to fill my time. Got any ideas? -Sebastian_

Blaine smiled at the text, happy they finally had time to spend together again. He was about to respond when he noticed another text come in, this time from Kurt. 

_Ice skating tomorrow? -Kurt_

He thought about what he would say for a long time before finally settling on agreeing to meet Kurt. The love was still there, and he needed to know what thoughts Kurt had on the situation. 

_Definitely :) -Blaine_

When he sent the text to Kurt, he knew he needed to think of a way to help Sebastian see he wasn’t abandoning him for Kurt. The best way to do that was through doing the exact opposite. He decided he would spend as much time as possible with Sebastian over the break until he figured out exactly how he felt about him and ensured that Sebastian would never again doubt his commitment to their friendship. 

_Merry almost Christmas :) Let’s do something the day after Christmas. What days are the Warblers’ performing? I’d love to come to a show. -Blaine_

One of his favorite parts of being a Warbler was the holiday concert series. He always loved performing, but there was nothing more magical than acapella Christmas carols with his brothers from Dalton. Sebastian eventually responded with dates of the performances and agreeing to make plans for the day after Christmas, leaving Blaine to decide what he would tell Sebastian and Kurt about his experiences with both of them. 

His non-date with Kurt arrived quicker than he expected, and he found himself waiting for him at the skating rink for 15 minutes before he finally showed up. Seeing Kurt felt surreal. Blaine couldn’t tell what it was, but something about Kurt looked different than the last time they spoke in person. They shared an awkward hug before exchanging any words and Blaine immediately started to question whether this was a good idea. “It’s so good to see you,” Kurt smiled as he pulled away from the hug. “Merry Christmas.” 

“Merry Christmas,” Blaine grinned back, taking Kurt’s hand as they moved toward the shack where they could rent skates. Blaine paid for both of their pairs of skates, feeling as if he still owed Kurt something but wasn’t sure how to express it. 

Kurt thanked him and promised to pay for hot chocolate after they were done. The actual skating was mediocre. They sang a beautiful rendition of “White Christmas” on the ice and Kurt seemed happy to be spending so much time with Blaine, which was still confusing given how they left things after Grease. 

Luckily, Kurt felt the need to talk, too. Like they originally planned, they decided to get hot chocolate after skating which was exactly what Blaine needed in order to figure out what the hell was going on between the two of them. “I’m glad we got the chance to hang out while I’m home,” Kurt said with a smile. “I thought it would be good for us to clear the air.” 

“Yeah, for sure. I’ve really missed talking to you,” Blaine smiled back. Even if he didn’t know how he felt romantically about Kurt anymore, he did know that he enjoyed his company and wanted to stay friends. 

“I’ve missed a lot of things about you,” Kurt agreed. His eyes shied away from Blaine’s as he made it clear there was something else on his mind. 

Blaine picked up on the little cues in Kurt’s expression that indicated he had something he needed to talk about. “Yeah, me too,” Blaine said, hoping it would help Kurt get whatever he needed to off his chest. 

Kurt hesitated for a while. He took a deep breath before finally looking up to Blaine to let him know what he was thinking. “I’ve been thinking a lot about us. I know it took me a long time to forgive you, but I can tell you’re sorry and that you know you made a mistake. Seeing you just solidified to me that I want you in my life and I think I’m willing to move past all of this if you are.” 

Blaine stared at Kurt in shock, unsure of how he should respond. He was still processing the idea of Kurt getting together with him at all; he was definitely not expecting him to suggest moving past all of the cheating and fighting from the beginning of the year. Just as Kurt confessed what he was feeling, Sebastian crossed Blaine’s mind. He knew even hearing about this conversation would upset Sebastian and things were finally good between them. More than anything, Blaine didn’t want to lose Sebastian, whether it was as a friend or something else. “Kurt, I… I don’t know what to say.” He didn’t want to jeopardize his chance to win Kurt back, but he was telling the truth. He honestly didn’t know what to say. 

“You don’t have to say anything. I know it’s going to be hard and we’ll have to take it slow with me in New York and you here, but I really would like to try this again. And since I’ll be here for a few weeks before I have to go back to school, we have a little bit of time to rebuild our relationship.” Kurt reached his hand across the table and rested it on top of Blaine’s. 

Blaine’s eyes moved toward their hands and he couldn’t help but turn his hand around to embrace Kurt’s. It felt natural, just like old times. Even if this wasn’t exactly what he wanted to be doing, Blaine felt like he had no choice. “I guess I’m a little bit confused,” Blaine admitted. “You went so long without even talking to me and now… now this?” 

Kurt took a breath before responding, clearly thrown off by Blaine’s answer. “I just needed some time to sort it all out for myself. But I’m ready now.” 

Blaine was about to respond when he noticed the familiar colors of two Dalton blazers a few tables away from them. His eyes immediately darted toward the Dalton students, terrified that it would be Sebastian and he ruined everything. Instead, he saw Nick and Jeff who were trying their best to pretend they weren’t looking at Kurt and Blaine, but they weren’t doing a very good job. Jeff looked annoyed and Nick just looked confused. “Would you mind if we talk about this outside?” Blaine asked, a little worried to hear the other boy’s reaction. Kurt’s eyes followed Blaine’s to the Warblers sitting nearby and then nodded. 

They walked outside with their hot chocolates in hand and stopped when they were close to the street. Without any warning, Kurt took Blaine’s arm and pulled him in for a kiss, taking him completely by surprise. Blaine felt as if he should kiss him back, like this was the natural progression of things and they were meant to kiss. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. It didn’t make any sense that Kurt would just forgive him out of nowhere and immediately go back to how things were before. He didn’t know if he wanted to kiss him back, he just knew that he should, and that wasn’t good enough for him. 

“Wait, Kurt, I need to think about this. It feels like this just came out of nowhere,” Blaine explained. 

Kurt frowned and pulled away from him. “How could you think this came out of nowhere? We were together for almost two years. We called each other soulmates.” 

“I don’t know…” 

“Why didn’t you want the Warblers to see us together?” Kurt interrupted. 

Blaine thought it was obvious. Kurt never liked Blaine spending all of his time with the Warblers and he assumed Kurt would understand why they left. “I just don’t want anything to get around before we’re ready for it to. Dalton is full of gossip.” 

“So it has nothing to do with Sebastian?” Kurt asked, suspicion in his tone. 

One of Blaine’s eyebrows raised at the suggestion. He was a bit taken aback, but really, he shouldn’t have been. Kurt always did this; he always made their problems about Sebastian. But Blaine didn’t want to fight about this anymore. They’d been having this fight for a long time and it was exhausting. “Look, I don’t know. This is really not what I was expecting today. This is what I’ve wanted for a really long time but…” 

“But what?” Kurt shot back when Blaine paused for a moment. 

Blaine shook his head, suddenly frowning at Kurt’s rising anger. “Kurt, I would like to have a real conversation about all of this later, but I need some time and it seems like you do, too.” 

“I can’t believe you’re doing this after all this time. I thought you were actually sorry and that you wanted to fix things,” Kurt was almost yelling as he stormed toward his car. 

Blaine followed closely behind him, angry about Kurt’s reaction. “I do want to fix things; can you not give me a day to think about how we can move on from this?” 

“It doesn’t seem like you want to move on anymore. It sounds like you’re happy we broke up,” Kurt yelled, starting to open the front door to his car. 

Blaine frowned and shut the door before Kurt could get in the car. “No, I’m not, I just think we need to have a real conversation about why we broke up and what changes we need to make in our relationship before we get back together.” 

“We know why we broke up, Blaine. You cheated on me.” 

“Did you ever think that maybe I cheated on you for a reason?” Blaine asked, a little too harsh in tone, but he didn’t care anymore; he needed to get his point across. 

Kurt shook his head. “Of course, but I’m going to work on that, too. We both have things we need to work on.” 

Blaine rolled his eyes as he started to walk away. “I just need a few days to figure it out. Can we get together again soon? Maybe we can both come up with a list or something of things we need to sort out so that we’re not just jumping back into all of this again.” 

Kurt thought about it for a while, clearly annoyed at the suggestion. “Fine. Text me when you know what you want.” He got into his car and drove away shortly after, leaving Blaine standing in the parking lot by himself. He didn’t like leaving things on such confusing terms, but Blaine knew he had a lot of thinking to do, most of which revolved around Sebastian. 

Blaine returned to his house when he finally felt like he was capable of driving. He was shocked when he walked inside to find his brother baking cookies. “Coop, I didn’t even know you were home.” He grinned and embraced his brother in a hug. “You’re baking?” 

“Hey, little brother,” Cooper said as he hugged Blaine back. “Yeah, Mom started a batch earlier, but she had a last-minute errand to run so I offered to take over. I’ve discovered I hate baking.” 

Blaine laughed as he started washing his hands. “Here, I can help you.” 

“Mom said you went skating with Kurt today,” Cooper said as he took a rolling pin in hand and started rolling out the sugar cookie dough. “I thought you two broke up?” 

Blaine let out a long sigh. He started to mix the ingredients for another batch while he tried to decide how much to tell his brother. “Yeah we did, but apparently he wants to get back together.” 

“I thought he wasn’t even talking to you?” 

That’s when Blaine realized he hadn’t spoken to Cooper over the phone in a few weeks, probably since before Thanksgiving. Cooper had a commercial shoot over Thanksgiving, so they didn’t see each other that weekend and both of them had been so busy in the weeks leading up to Christmas that neither of them bothered to call. “He called on Thanksgiving and we’ve been texting on and off since then. Now he says he’s ready to give me a second chance. But honestly it just feels like it came out of nowhere. I had pretty much given up on us getting back together and I was finally starting to have fun again, then out of the blue he called me.” 

Cooper raised an eyebrow as he stopped rolling the dough for a moment to look at Blaine. “Wait, so you were starting to move on, and then he started saying he wants you back?” Blaine just nodded in response. “Dude, it’s the oldest trick in the book; you just didn’t realize you were doing it. This is the reason why people jump into new relationships right after a breakup.” 

“Wait, what are you talking about?” 

“He came back to you because he could tell you were moving on and didn’t want to lose you,” Cooper explained, resuming his dough rolling. 

Blaine thought about what Cooper said and realized the timing made perfect sense. Kurt called him on Thanksgiving after everyone at McKinley started to find out about Blaine’s rekindled friendship with Sebastian and the Warblers. Then Kurt saw all of the photos from Black Friday and even though he normally would be mad at Blaine about it, he didn’t even mention it. “Well that’s annoying,” he said simply. 

“Yeah, well sometimes people need a little push to realize they want you,” Cooper shrugged. 

Blaine knew he needed to think about this more, but he appreciated Cooper’s analysis of the relationship. “Thanks, Coop. People don’t give you enough credit.” 

“Yeah, I know, I’m kind of a relationship genius,” Cooper agreed. 

When they finished baking the cookies and sat down to relax and try some of them, Blaine decided to send a text to Sebastian to check in. 

_Merry Christmas Eve! Any family festivities to fill me in on? -Blaine_

He knew the response wouldn’t be positive since Sebastian clearly hated spending time with his family, for good reason. But he wanted some sort of contact and honestly missed having him around. 

_I hate Christmas. I’m ditching to go to a party with some of the guys tonight if you wanna come. -Sebastian_

Blaine considered the offer for a long time. He wished he could spend the night out with the Warblers, but he knew he should at least spend Christmas Eve with his family. Cooper was going back to L.A. the day after Christmas and they didn’t get to see each other often, so Blaine wanted to take this chance to bond with his brother. 

_I wish, but I should probably spend some time with Cooper while he’s in town. -Blaine_

He felt bad, but he knew he would have more time over winter break to hang out with the Warblers. Dalton was famous for its parties over break, so Blaine assumed he’d have many opportunities to spend time with them. 

_Cool. We’re hanging out on Wednesday, right? -Sebastian_

Wednesday was the day after Christmas and Blaine was thrilled that Sebastian remembered their plans. It felt weird to be so excited over hanging out with him, but he was used to spending everyday with Sebastian at the Lima Bean. It was strange not seeing him every day. 

_Yep, if we’re not both dead by then ;) -Blaine_

He knew Sebastian was going to have a rough couple of days and he wished there was something he could do to help, but he knew Sebastian was strong enough to get through it without him. He just hoped that they would be able to talk about it after Christmas was over. 

All Blaine could think about during his family dinner on Christmas Eve was his relationship with Kurt and what Cooper had said. Maybe Kurt only wanted him back because he was moving on. The last thing Blaine wanted was another relationship where Kurt only kept him around because he felt like he had to. Everything felt confusing and he couldn’t wait to think about anything else. 

Luckily, Christmas was able to get Blaine’s mind off of his complicated love life. Instead, his focus was on gifts from his family and an elaborate dinner at his aunt’s house in Dublin. It wasn’t until the family was sitting down for dinner that Sebastian crossed his mind once again. His name was flashing on Blaine’s phone as it vibrated, but he didn’t even notice until his eight-year-old cousin Lily brought it to his attention. “Blainey, someone is calling you.” 

Blaine glanced down at his phone and smiled when he noticed it was Sebastian. “I’ll be right back.” He had a few minutes before dinner would start so he decided he could sneak outside and take the call. “Hey, merry Christmas.” He smiled into the phone, excited to hear Sebastian’s voice on the other end of the call. 

“I knew hearing your voice would make me feel better,” Sebastian replied. His voice sounded broken, but Blaine could hear the honesty in his tone, like Blaine was actually helping him. “I didn’t think you’d pick up.” His words blended together a bit, like he had been drinking. 

Blaine’s eyes lit up at the compliment. It was so wholesome in comparison to Sebastian’s usual flirtatious comments. Just hearing those words produced butterflies in his stomach. “I have a few minutes before dinner. What’s wrong?” “I don’t need to talk about it. I just wanted a distraction,” Sebastian said. It was becoming obvious that Sebastian was at least a little bit buzzed. 

Blaine looked behind him at the front door to his aunt and uncle’s house to make sure no one was watching or listening to him, then he leaned back against the siding as he quietly spoke into the phone. “What do you want to do tomorrow?” 

“Is a repeat of Thanksgiving an option?” Sebastian asked in response. 

Blaine smirked at the thought. His instincts took over as he blocked every thought of Kurt from his mind. He knew he should tell Sebastian about their conversation, but he didn’t want Kurt to come between what they had anymore. “It’s more than an option. In fact, I think it should be a holiday tradition.” He knew he couldn’t talk about it for long given the family dinner he was about to have. Even just the thought of Sebastian’s lips coming anywhere near his body was enough to excite him for the next day. 

Sebastian took a while to answer before finally agreeing. “I can come to Lima tomorrow. I’d really like to get away from my family.” 

“My parents are actually leaving on a vacation tomorrow, so I have to drive them to the airport in the morning but then I’ll have the house to myself for a week,” Blaine grinned. He couldn’t wait to spend time alone with Sebastian again. This would be the first time they spent alone together since Black Friday and Blaine had been secretly fantasizing about it for weeks. He was trying not to let anything happen until he figured out what exactly Sebastian wanted from him, but he was so into him that he was willing to take what he could get. 

“Perfect,” Sebastian agreed. “I’ll text you in the morning.” 

Blaine smiled, unable to contain his excitement about his day with Sebastian. “I should probably get back inside. Are you going to be okay tonight?” 

“Yeah, I have my best friends Champagne and Courvoisier to keep me company,” Sebastian said, his words slurred. Blaine pictured Sebastian raising a glass in the air at the comment. 

Blaine grinned. He found Sebastian’s drunken mumbling cute. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Don’t drink too much or you won’t have nearly as much fun tomorrow.” 

“Don’t worry, no matter how much I drink I’m going to have tons of fun tomorrow,” Sebastian reassured him. 

“Goodbye, Sebastian,” Blaine smiled into the phone. He wished he could kiss him goodbye and he couldn’t tell if it was genuine feelings or the holiday spirit getting to him. 

“Even when you’re hanging up on me, you’re so sexy.” 

“Goodbye,” Blaine laughed as he repeated himself. 

“Bye,” Sebastian replied. Blaine could practically hear him smirking as his drunken sarcasm carried through the phone. 

Blaine hung up with a smile spreading across his face. He returned to the dining room a few minutes later and sat down next to Lily again. He wasn’t necessarily in a bad mood before, but he was visibly much more joyful after his phone call with Sebastian. The entire family picked up on it and Cooper, who was sitting on the other side of Blaine, was the first to say anything about it. “Was that Kurt?” 

“No,” Blaine mumbled, trying to prevent anyone from overhearing. Everyone was having their own separate conversations at that point, but Blaine was still concerned his parents or other relatives would hear their conversation and start interrogating Blaine on his love life. 

“Who’s making you all smiley then?” 

“Just someone.” He couldn’t contain his smile no matter how stupid it made him feel. He had no idea what came over him and why Sebastian was making him feel so giddy all of a sudden, especially since he still had to figure out his feelings for Kurt. 

Cooper rolled his eyes and continued eating. “Fine, don’t tell me.” 

As Blaine finished his meal and moved on to opening gifts with his family, thoughts of what the next day would bring consumed his mind. The butterflies in his stomach refused to let him fall asleep and his goodnight text from Sebastian only expanded his inability to close his eyes. 

_God night killer. Can’ t wati to cee you ;) -Sebastian_

_Goodnight :) -Blaine_

He smiled once again as he remembered how drunk Sebastian probably was. He wished they could be together that night, but he figured waiting a few hours wouldn’t kill them. He finally closed his eyes and started to fall asleep, hoping he would dream of his day with Sebastian. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! This chapter is a little late because I've been busy with finals & the holidays, but here's the new chapter and it's one that desperately demanded Sebastian's point of view. As always, I appreciate any and all comments and kudos. Y'all are seriously the best :)

Sebastian woke up the morning after Christmas with a throbbing headache. He grasped his hair in his hand as he sat up in his bed and checked his phone, instantly needing to turn the brightness down to stop his headache from becoming even more painful. At first, he was shocked when he didn’t have any messages from Blaine; it was already late in the morning by the time Sebastian rolled out of bed. But Sebastian was never one to shy away from a flirtatious good morning text, so he decided to make the first move. 

_Hey Killer. What time should I come over? ;) -Sebastian_

He laid in bed staring at the ceiling for a while, trying to work up the energy to get out of bed and start getting ready. Even if he couldn’t admit it to anyone, he was excited to spend the day with Blaine. It had been so long since they had time to themselves and he was finally starting to feel like he maybe wouldn’t be Blaine’s second choice forever. The way Blaine made him feel scared the hell out of him, but as long as they were still talking and spending time together, he could contain that fear and channel it into flirtation. 

After almost an hour of lying in bed and scrolling through Facebook, Sebastian was starting to get concerned that he hadn’t heard from Blaine yet. He hoped he was still sleeping but started to worry it might be something else. It was already well past 11 am and Blaine rarely slept past 10, much less this late into the day. But Sebastian’s headache was finally starting to fade so he decided he’d make the effort to get out of bed and maybe grab a coffee at the Lima Bean while he waited for a text back from Blaine. After all, what he wanted even more than Blaine was to get away from his family. 

Unfortunately, it wasn’t that easy. He ran into his mother on his way out the door who looked upset that he was leaving. But if he really thought about, Sebastian was shocked she even noticed him at all. “Sebastian, it’s almost noon. Where have you been all morning?” 

“Sleeping?” He rolled his eyes at his mom in disbelief that she already wanted to start a fight the day after Christmas. 

“You shouldn’t be sleeping this late. Maybe you should have slowed down with the Champagne,” she said with a frown. 

Sebastian once again let his eyes roll back in his head as he continued walking toward the door. “Maybe you should have slowed down with the two bottles of wine you downed by yourself yesterday.” 

Before Sebastian could open the door, his mom grabbed his wrist and pulled him closer, her nails digging into his skin. “Where do you think you’re going?” 

“I’m meeting a friend,” Sebastian explained as he pulled his arm away from her. 

“There’s brunch in the dining room. Your sister and father are in there waiting for us.” 

“I’d rather starve,” Sebastian frowned and walked out the door, ignoring screams from his mother to come back inside and join the family for breakfast. The last thing he wanted was to spend another meal with the three of them. 

As Sebastian got into his car and turned the key, he heard his phone ringing and smiled when he saw it was Blaine. “Hey,” he answered, trying to disguise the excitement in his voice. 

“Hey, I’m really sorry but I have to cancel our plans today.” 

Sebastian’s smile instantly transformed into a frown as he listened to Blaine. “Why?” He didn’t even notice how disappointed he was until he heard it in his own voice. Part of him hoped Blaine wouldn’t notice, but another part wished it would change his mind. 

“I know it’s going to sound stupid, but Kurt called and I’m going over to his house. It’s kind of an emergency and everything is really tense over there right now so I’m going to make sure everyone is okay. I’ll explain later.” He was talking so fast and Sebastian felt so distant and detached that he could only comprehend parts of what Blaine was saying. The headache slowly started to resurge and the throbbing beats in his head meant he couldn’t quite process what this situation meant or how it made him feel. 

He tried to think of the right words to convince Blaine to drop everything and go through with their plans, but the words weren’t there. Nothing would convince Blaine to pick him. He should’ve known better. “Okay.” 

“I’m sorry, please say something to let me know it’s okay,” Blaine begged. 

Sebastian leaned his head back and closed his eyes, annoyed at Blaine’s persistence. “I said okay, Blaine. What more do you want from me?” 

Now Blaine was the silent one. Sebastian knew he shouldn’t have snapped, but Blaine should have known this would upset him. “We can reschedule later, okay?” 

“Whatever,” Sebastian said as he hung up. He didn’t want to argue with Blaine when the entire thing would just end up the exact same. There was no use fighting if Blaine was cancelling their plans no matter what. Plus, he was afraid he might say or do something stupid if he kept talking. He felt like he could explode, and he was not about to get emotional over some stupid plans getting cancelled. 

Now that Sebastian didn’t have anywhere to go, he felt conflicted on what he should do. He could go back inside and hibernate in his room all day, drown out the noise of his family downstairs with a bottle of Courvoisier. Or he could try to find someone else to spend his day with. After an embarrassingly long period of contemplation, Sebastian decided to message in the Warblers group chat to see if anyone was free. 

_Anyone up for coffee? -Sebastian_

Spending time with the other Warblers, no matter how annoying they could be, was the best way for Sebastian to get his mind off of Blaine. At least if he wasn’t alone, he wouldn’t spend his day agonizing over why Blaine cancelled their plans to spend time with his ex-boyfriend. Luckily, Jeff texted back almost right away. 

_Me and Nick were going to the Dalton coffeehouse this morning if you want to come. -Jeff_

What Sebastian really wanted was another day of drinking and forgetting about all of the shit his parents said when he came home from Dalton for the week. Now that he didn’t have Blaine to spend the day with, he didn’t want to do anything at all. But his brain never seemed to shut up in situations like this and he knew he should find something outside of the house to get his mind off it, so he put his car in drive and made his way to the café to meet Nick and Jeff. 

When he arrived, the other two Warblers were already seated near the back. Sebastian ordered himself a coffee and then pulled a chair over to their table. Jeff was the first to greet Sebastian. “I wasn’t expecting to hear from you until after winter break.” 

“Yeah, well, my plans changed,” Sebastian mumbled bitterly as he took a sip of his coffee. 

“Speaking of plans, what’s the deal with Blaine? I thought everything was cool with you guys and it seemed like maybe something was going on according to all of the McKinley gossip,” Jeff explained. He had no idea how much bringing up Blaine would upset Sebastian. 

Sebastian gave Jeff the most dramatic eye roll he could. “It’s just McKinley gossip; you shouldn’t buy into any of that crap. And no, I don’t know what his deal is.” 

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about something since you talk to Blaine way more than any of us do now. Is he getting back together with Kurt?” Nick asked. 

Of course his first words were something that would make Sebastian even more upset. He stared at Nick with an annoyed expression but found himself curious about what might have given them that idea. “Where did you get that idea? More McKinley gossip?” He tried to conceal his curiosity by taking a sip of his coffee and avoiding eye contact.

Nick and Jeff gave each other an awkward glance while Sebastian waited for an answer. It was obvious there was something he didn’t know. “We saw them on Christmas Eve holding hands. They kissed, too,” Jeff informed Sebastian. 

It felt like having a band-aid ripped off. All of Sebastian’s secret wishes for his fling with Blaine disappeared as he felt his heart sink to his stomach. For the first time, Sebastian didn’t have any words to describe his reaction to the news about Kurt and Blaine. “Are you okay?” Nick asked after a while of waiting for Sebastian to respond. 

“Yeah… yeah, I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” Sebastian asked, shaking his head to snap him out of his own imagination. He took a sip of his coffee and looked around to make sure nobody noticed his lapse in confidence. 

The other Warblers stared at him in disbelief. “Dude, I know you’re not really into romance and stuff, but everyone knows you’re totally into him,” Jeff explained. 

Sebastian’s eyes widened. “No way. Sure, Blaine’s hot, everyone knows that. But I don’t do dates and exclusivity and shit.” 

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Nick shrugged. 

Sebastian shook his head and stood up. “This is ridiculous. I’m leaving.” 

“We’re just trying to help, Sebastian,” Jeff insisted. 

“Well you’re not helping,” Sebastian said with an eye roll. “Look, Blaine is free to get back together with gay face. I’m not going to stand in his way. The only person who ends up looking stupid in that situation is me.” He paused, thinking to himself that he should have known he would never be more important to Blaine. 

Nick and Jeff glanced at each other and then back at Sebastian, clearly concerned. “Just… maybe you should talk to him before you draw any conclusions.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes as he started walking toward the door. “Whatever.” He exited the coffee shop and made his way back to his car. He was fighting back the anger pulsing through his veins as he slammed the door shut and leaned his head back against the seat, gripping the steering wheel with his fists. 

He was stupid to think that even for a second Blaine would rather be with him. It all made sense; all of the fun they had together was because Blaine was lonely. He went through a breakup and he needed a friend. It wasn’t anything more than that. 

All he wanted was a text from Blaine apologizing and asking to reschedule or saying he made a mistake and wanted to see him. But that wasn’t going to happen. Kurt always came first, and he always would. Sebastian wasn’t about to wait around all day just to be Blaine’s second choice. He wasn’t supposed to be anyone’s second choice and yet he always was, even with his own parents. 

Before he processed what he was doing, Sebastian was pulling into his own driveway. He hoped getting a workout in would help him calm down. All he really wanted to do was hit someone, but he figured a run would be almost as relaxing. 

The air outside was cold and even though it was nice out for a December day in Ohio, it was still only 40 degrees which made breathing rather difficult. Still, Sebastian didn’t care. He needed to get Blaine off of his mind and he had no idea how to do it. The music of Nirvana and Green Day blared through his ears and he wished more than anything that he could enjoy it, but rage music wasn’t really his thing. As much as he tried to forget, he couldn’t. The cold air finally got to him and he collapsed on the side of the road, grasping at the back of his neck to keep his breathing even. He felt like crying, but he wasn’t supposed to do that. He wasn’t supposed to feel sad or cry, certainly not over a stupid guy. He wasn’t supposed to fall in love or have expectations of people. He knew better. 

When Sebastian finally worked up the energy to stand up again, he knew the best way to forget about all of the pain. He ran home, ignoring the stinging in his chest caused by the excruciating cold. The desperation to think about anything other than Blaine comforting Kurt through a crisis took over. All he could picture was Blaine holding Kurt’s hand, kissing him the same way he had for Sebastian on Thanksgiving. He never should have let that happen. He knew this was going to end horribly. He knew he would never come out on top. 

Sebastian didn’t even take a shower before he snuck into the bar and swiped the bottle of Courvoisier he’d been quietly sipping for the entire holiday season. It was almost empty, so he figured he’d quickly finish it off before opening a new one. Unfortunately, his sister interrupted him before he could open the second bottle. 

“Wow, second bottle and it’s not even New Years? Great job, you’ve officially turned into Mom,” her voice taunted. 

“Shut up, Evie.” He rolled his eyes as he opened the second bottle. “What do you want?” 

Evie approached him with a smirk. “Is it so strange for me to want to spend quality time with my brother?” 

“Yes.” 

She rolled her eyes as she took the bottle from him before he had the chance to drink any himself. “I would have thought you’d still be hungover from yesterday.” 

Sebastian stared at her with an eyebrow raised. “You know what helps with a hangover?” He tore the bottle away from her and took a swig. “Liquor.” 

“Well at least you have less bruises than last Christmas, so that’s an improvement,” Evie shrugged, ignoring his comments. “Do you have any lacrosse practices over winter break?” 

Sebastian responded with another eye roll. “Yeah, but you’re not coming. I promise everyone at Dalton is classy enough to recognize they can do better than you.” 

Evie shoved him and started to walk out of the room. “I don’t know. Some of those guys that you sing with are pretty cute.” 

“Did you not even listen when Dad was screaming at me all week? Half of them got suspended for steroids; some of them even got expelled.” He poured some of the bottle into a flask and stuck it in his pocket. The last place Sebastian wanted to be was here with his sister. 

“Whatever. Have fun drinking your feelings,” Evie said as she finally left the room. 

“I don’t have feelings,” Sebastian shouted after her, trying to convince himself more than anyone else. 

He didn’t want to sit around his house getting drunk all day just like his mother inevitably would and he certainly didn’t want to talk to his parents or his sister, so he figured the best thing for him was getting his mind off of Blaine the old-fashioned way: hooking up with someone else. It always worked for him during his junior year when Blaine barely gave him the time of day. Since he only had about two shots worth of liquor, he decided it would be fine to drive the 20 minutes it took to get to his favorite gay bar in Columbus. 

This was perfect. He couldn’t go to Scandals because it was all the way in Lima and so many of his memories there were of Blaine. Instead, he settled on Slammers, a smaller gay nightclub in the city. As someone so young, he knew it wouldn’t be hard for him to get what he needed there. He was an attractive younger guy, after all, and older single guys were all over that, especially in Ohio where there was nothing better to do. 

Most of all, Sebastian missed his days in Paris. Stupid strict boarding school zero tolerance policies. One instance of taunting some British kid that escalated to violence and it was back to America. The bars there were much classier, and nobody cared how old anyone else was. The drinking age was 18 but most of the bars didn’t even bother to I.D. their guests. And Parisian boys were way hotter than Ohio boys. 

Lucky for Sebastian, his first suitor bought him a drink before he had the chance to spend any money. “What’s a pretty boy like you doing alone on Christmas?” The older man with greying brown hair asked as he handed Sebastian a drink. 

“It’s not Christmas,” Sebastian responded as he accepted the drink. “And I’m way out of your league.” 

The man looked offended but proceeded to sit down next to Sebastian anyway. “I’m John.” 

“John? Is that your real name or are you just trying to hide from your wife?” Sebastian asked with a smirk. He sipped on the drink, completely uninterested in conversation with this guy. He knew he could do better. 

John’s cheeks turned red at Sebastian’s comment. “What?” 

“I was kidding, but I guess I shouldn’t have been,” Sebastian laughed. Typical Ohio. “No offense, but closeted guys over 40 are not really my type.” John frowned as he stood up. “You’re kind of a dick.” 

“Thanks,” Sebastian gave the older man a fake smile and waited for him to leave. With one creep out of the way, he hoped the night could only get better. 

Sebastian’s objective was to not have to buy a single one of his own drinks and he was well on his way to achieving that goal by the fourth guy he rejected. Four drinks in and he was finally starting to care less about who his conquest of the evening would be. It was almost 11 when he started to feel tipsy, but that wasn’t good enough. He needed shots. The last thing Sebastian wanted was to remember any of this the next day. 

Just as Sebastian was about to give in and buy shots for himself, a shorter man with dark hair sat down next to him and ordered six shots of tequila. With his vision blurred, the young man looked so similar to Blaine it made him smile. His hair was wavy and less confined than Blaine’s and he dressed much worse, but his dull brown eyes had the same hopeless romantic expression and he sat with the same confident posture. “Are you here alone?” He asked. 

Sebastian’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked at the other boy. He was starting to feel more than tipsy and couldn’t wait to get these shots in his system. At least this guy was closer to his age, and his oblivion was kind of hot. Yet another thing that reminded him of Blaine. “Yeah. And you?” 

The tray of shots slid across the bar and the two of them each took one before the other boy answered the question. “Yeah. Merry fucking Christmas.” 

“Not a fan of the single life?” 

The dark-haired man chuckled. “I don’t even remember what it’s like to be single.” 

This peaked Sebastian’s interest. No matter how many times he refused to be Blaine’s, something about serving as the rebound for someone he didn’t know intrigued him. The thought of another couple fighting over him was almost arousing. It was the kind of chaos Sebastian welcomed in his life. 

They each took another shot before the other man went on to explain. “He broke up with me on Christmas. He recently relocated to L.A. for a job but I’m a senior at Ohio State, so we were doing the whole long-distance thing. I was going to move out there with him after graduation but apparently, he couldn’t wait that long.” 

At this, both of them took the last shot. Sebastian was sure he was drunk by this point which was exactly what he needed to make something happen with the less attractive Blaine look alike. “Ouch.” 

“The guy he cheated on me with is the CEO of a tech startup. How the hell am I supposed to compete with that? I’m just an English major from Ohio.” Sebastian didn’t really care about all of this random backstory, and normally he would immediately leave when a guy started obsessively talking about his ex, but he decided to give the guy a chance, even if he was an English major. “Oh my god, I’m talking about my ex too much, aren’t I?” 

“A little bit, but it’s fine. You’re totally pulling off the sexy guy on the rebound look,” Sebastian shrugged. He knew it wouldn’t take too much to get this guy in bed with him; he was clearly desperate for revenge. 

The man gave Sebastian a soft smile. “My name’s Jack.” 

He reached out his hand for Sebastian to shake. “Sebastian.” 

“Do you wanna dance?” Jack asked, reaching out to take Sebastian’s hand. 

Sebastian fought to maintain balance as he followed Jack onto the dance floor. His dancing was sloppy in comparison to his usual self. He didn’t let himself get this out of hand with alcohol very often, but that day was a special occasion. Jack’s dancing was even worse, and he certainly couldn’t measure up to Blaine’s moves, but no one ever would. 

He kept pushing the thought of Blaine spending his day with Kurt to the back of his mind, but he couldn’t do it. The pain was almost unbearable. Even worse than the pain was the embarrassment of thinking he had a chance and then losing it before he could even act on it. With thoughts of Blaine consuming his mind, Sebastian knew he needed to move on. He pulled Jack in closer and kissed him, which received a somewhat shocked reaction. “What? Not over your boyfriend?” Sebastian asked in a condescending tone. 

To his surprise, Jack didn’t seem offended at all. Instead, he pulled Sebastian in for another kiss. They ended up in the bathroom a few minutes later, with Jack frantically removing Sebastian’s pants. 

The sex lasted much longer than Sebastian would have liked. Jack seemed like he was out of practice, which made sense since he’d been in a long-distance relationship for several months. But still, it seemed to do the trick. All he really wanted was to prove to himself that he still had game and falling for Blaine didn’t ruin any chance he had of enjoying sex with other guys. 

Sebastian had to hold onto the wall of the bathroom stall the entire time to stop himself from falling over as he sloppily pushed in and out of the slightly older guy. The second round of shots went to his head much faster than he thought they would. Suddenly he could barely remember how he wound up in the bathroom in the first place. After he finished, Sebastian felt the need to sit down and catch his breath. The combination of an orgasm and way too much alcohol certainly wasn’t helping him maintain consciousness. 

Jack sat down next to him on the bathroom floor and at this point, Sebastian just wanted him to leave. “Can I have your phone?” Jack asked, reaching his hand out. 

Sebastian mindlessly handed over his phone, not really thinking about what Jack would do with it. Before he could process what was happening, Jack was putting his number into Sebastian’s phone and sending himself a text so that either one of them would have the opportunity to contact the other. Clearly Jack didn’t understand what Sebastian wanted out of this interaction. “Call me sometime. We should go out.” 

Sebastian turned to look at him, feeling almost nothing as he fixated on Jack’s eyes. “I don’t really do dates.” 

Jack frowned as he listened to Sebastian’s rejection. “Not looking for something serious?” 

Sebastian tried to process the conversation, but the world felt like it was spinning. He didn’t want to get into the specifics with this stranger, not that he even thought he could when he could barely make sentences. “If I wanted something serious, I know who it would be with.” 

“Oh, I get it. You were pretending I was somebody else.” 

Sebastian shook his head and tried to stand up, but the blood rushing to his brain forced him to collapse back to the ground. “I need to get out of here.” He took his phone back from Jack and started scrolling through his contacts. “I hope I helped you get revenge, or get over your ex, or whatever your goal was in all of this,” Sebastian mumbled as he finally gathered the energy to stand up and stumble his way out of the bathroom. He could pass out at any moment so he knew he needed to call for a ride before it was too late and he was dead on the side of the road somewhere, not that that would be the worst idea in the world. 

He didn’t know how long he’d been walking on the sidewalk before he decided who to call. He wasn’t sure if his goal was to hurt Blaine or just to avoid calling his sister, but he clicked on Blaine’s contact and collapsed in the grass while he waited for it to ring. “Hello?” Blaine’s voice came through the speaker and Sebastian let out a sigh of relief. 

“Can you… I’m really drunk… I need a ride.” 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's another update unfortunately a bit later than I'd hoped. I felt the need to include Blaine's perspective on the events of the day after Christmas so I'm hoping this clears up some of the events from the previous chapter. Thank you for continuing to read! Any comments and kudos are always appreciated :)

Blaine woke up the morning after Christmas with a smile already plastered on his face. He had been looking forward to spending the day with Sebastian for a long time. His feelings for Sebastian escalated by the day. With all of the confusion of his relationship with Kurt and the potential future relationship with Sebastian, the only thing he was really sure of was that he wanted Sebastian in his life. 

When he picked up his phone for the first time that morning, he noticed a message from Sebastian from an hour earlier and realized he slept in way later than he intended to. 

_Hey Killer. What time should I come over? ;) -Sebastian_

Before opening the text, he was sure his smile couldn’t get any bigger. But reading those words and that wink at the end proved him wrong. Just as he was about to text back, that smile faded. Kurt’s name and image were lighting up his phone. At first, Blaine didn’t answer. He ignored the call and went back to writing a text back to Sebastian. But before he could hit send, he received a text from Kurt. 

_Please answer. It’s important. -Kurt_

Blaine wanted to keep ignoring it, but he wasn’t the type to abandon his friends in times of crisis. Sebastian’s words that night at his house ran through his mind as he contemplated answering Kurt’s call. You’re an incredible friend. You never hesitate to stick up for every one of them. That included Kurt. No matter what, he knew Kurt was his friend and would be a part of his life; they shared the same friend group and had similar career aspirations. Despite their relationship status, Blaine knew he’d inevitably continue to cross paths with his ex. He hoped Sebastian would understand that was the reason why he needed to answer the call. “Hey, what’s wrong?” 

“My dad has cancer.” Kurt’s voice sounded numb, like he didn’t even know what he was saying. 

He was taken aback by Kurt’s announcement at first. Burt was one of the sweetest people Blaine had ever met. In comparison to Blaine’s dad, Burt was a saint. Even through all of his problems with Kurt, Blaine had always found a support system in Burt. After all of the turmoil of Blaine’s relationship with Kurt, Burt continued to be a father figure in his life and offer him advice when no one else seemed to understand. “What?” Blaine asked, unsure of how else he could react. The shock of Kurt’s reveal put Blaine at a loss for words. 

“It’s prostate cancer. The prognosis is pretty positive, but I’m still really scared. I didn’t know who else to call. Rachel is on vacation with her dads and Mercedes already went back to L.A. Finn is here, but he’s obviously struggling with the news himself. Can you… can you please come over?” Kurt sounded weak, like he’d been crying for hours. 

After hearing the desperation in Kurt’s voice, Blaine knew he needed to do something to help. No matter what was going on with their relationship, he knew he needed to be a good friend. After all, he knew better than anyone what it was like to use one person as an entire support system. “Yeah, of course I’ll come over. I’ll be there in a few minutes, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

Blaine quickly threw on the first clothes he could find, being careful not to wear Sebastian’s sweatshirt that he’d been hiding in for days. He called Sebastian on his way to Kurt’s house to let him know they needed to cancel their plans and even though Sebastian’s reaction wasn’t as understanding as he’d hoped, he knew he could make it up to him. The worst part was not being able to explain exactly what was going on. He knew leaving out the exact details of Kurt’s emergency would seem suspicious, but he wanted to respect Kurt’s privacy. 

As he walked up to Kurt’s door, all of his memories of their time spent there together came flooding back. Most of them hurt now, but it was a comforting and familiar feeling. At least he knew what to expect from Kurt. 

It was Finn who answered the door. He looked like he’d been crying for hours but stopped a while ago, which Blaine could tell from his dry, tear-stained cheeks. Knowing Finn, it meant he was trying his best to put everybody else’s pain first and support Kurt and Carole rather than dwell on his own suffering. “Hi, is Kurt here?” He felt ridiculous for even asking. Of course Kurt was there. But he wasn’t sure what else to say. 

“Um, yeah. He’s in the living room,” Finn informed him. He turned a bit to let Blaine through the door and then waited behind to shut the door behind him. Finn quickly disappeared back downstairs where Blaine could hear Puck and Sam talking. 

Kurt’s eyes immediately turned to Blaine when he walked into the living room. “I’m sorry I called. I know things are weird between us right now.” Seeing Kurt with tear filled eyes and sobbing into the blanket wrapped around his shoulders was enough for Blaine to collapse next to his ex-boyfriend and embrace him into a hug. He didn’t know what was going on in their relationship, but he didn’t care. 

Blaine could have sworn he sat there in silence with Kurt for hours, just holding him and kissing his head while he cried. It broke Blaine’s heart all over again. He knew Kurt for a long time, but he had never seen him so sad. He’d only seen Kurt cry a few times, but those were pretty much limited to when Blaine cheated on him and Kurt’s meltdown after his rejection from NYADA. But neither of those instances compared to this. 

The hours of nothing to do but listen to Kurt’s quiet sobs gave Blaine much needed time to think. Through all of the chaos of Christmas and Kurt randomly showing up and asking to get back together, Blaine never sat down to really consider what his options were. Up until this point, there was never an option. It was just Kurt. And that was okay for the longest time because Kurt was all he needed. But somewhere along the way, he lost part of himself in their relationship. He didn’t know if it was when he transferred to McKinley to be with him, or if it started when Sebastian came into the picture. It could have even been one of the smaller moments, like when Kurt started talking to Chandler or when Blaine got the lead in West Side Story but Kurt didn’t. All Blaine knew was that by the time Kurt left for New York, Blaine wasn’t himself anymore; he was just Kurt’s boyfriend. 

Now, finally, Blaine felt like himself again. He was starting to earn back the trust of his old friends from Dalton and he finally felt genuinely happy for the first time in a long time. Even Sam noticed a change in Blaine’s emotions. He knew that newfound happiness wasn’t because Kurt broke up with him. No, that was one of the things that broke him in the first place. But he also knew that how he felt after finally getting over the breakup was happier than he had been in a long time, probably since he transferred to McKinley. 

Considering all of that, Blaine’s thoughts still revolved around his brother’s ideas. Cooper told him that Kurt only came back because he was jealous that Blaine was starting to move on. After everything that happened between them, Blaine knew the worst way to start their relationship over again was from a place of jealousy. Jealousy almost destroyed their relationship more times than Blaine could count. He definitely didn’t want to start another relationship that would only blow up after a few months. That blow up was inevitable so long as Blaine kept Sebastian, or any of the Warblers for that matter, in his life. And Blaine knew that there would be other guys in Kurt’s life as well that would always bother him. 

On top of everything else, he and Sebastian had untouchable chemistry; they had since the beginning. It felt almost electric when they were together. Even though Blaine knew better than to factor it into his decision, that blow job was more amazing than any sexual encounter he ever shared with Kurt. He reminded himself that this was because Kurt was a virgin when they first had sex. Meanwhile, Sebastian hooked up with a new guy practically every night. Still, Blaine wanted to feel that electricity again. 

By the time Kurt finally pulled away from him, Blaine still had no idea what to do about their relationship. He knew they couldn’t get back together yet, or at least he thought he knew that. But at the same time, they had been through so much. He couldn’t give up on him yet. 

When Kurt’s head lifted from Blaine’s chest, Blaine checked the time and noticed he’d been sitting there for four hours holding Kurt in his arms. It felt natural, but still distant. Something was broken between them, and it was something Blaine didn’t think could ever be fixed again, that jealous personality trait lurking inside both of them. Blaine made sure to note that when he checked his phone, he didn’t have any messages from Sebastian. This worried him given how they’d left things, so he decided to send him a quick text apologizing and trying to reschedule. Unfortunately, before he could even hit send, Kurt interrupted his thoughts. 

“Are you texting _him_?” The word him held so much anticipated anger that Blaine hoped to avoid. Kurt didn’t even need to include Sebastian’s name for Blaine to know that’s who he was talking about. 

Blaine wasn’t sure if he should answer honestly or not. He didn’t want Kurt to have yet another thing to be upset about after everything going on with his dad, but he knew Kurt already had his suspicions about them, so it was probably pointless to lie about it. “No… I’m not going to.” He decided he would set his phone on the coffee table and ignore the temptation to text Sebastian. It was just Sebastian; he would be fine. He wasn’t the type of person to need constant check-ins and updates. Besides, he might have been dismissive over the phone, but he definitely didn’t seem angry. 

Kurt’s mouth opened like he was about to say something else about that, but then it closed again. He didn’t say another word for a while, but when he did, Blaine wished he had stayed quiet. “Have you thought about what we talked about on Christmas Eve? Did you make your list?” 

As much as Blaine wanted to push this off for even longer, he knew he couldn’t do that to Kurt anymore. This was probably confusing for him after everything. And if Blaine was being honest, he had made a list on his phone of all of the things he needed to work out with Kurt if they ever got back together. “Yeah,” he replied after a moment. “Did you?” 

Kurt just nodded in response. “Let’s take turns. You can read one of your things and then I’ll read one of mine.” 

This seemed like a bad way to help Kurt process his father’s cancer. Blaine wanted to change the subject back to that so that Kurt was at least a little bit prepared to deal with the coming months of his father being sick. He knew this would somehow evolve into a fight. It always did which was the reason why Blaine never brought up any of his complaints in the first place. 

But instead, he decided he would let Kurt have his way. “Okay.” He glanced at his phone and a tear fell from his eye as he read from it. Reading all of this and thinking about their breakup brought back memories of how awful things were between them after Kurt moved to New York, and Kurt had no idea. “I know you’re busy in New York with your Vogue internship. And now that you’re starting at NYADA it’s going to get even more hectic. But I was miserable here without you. We would go days without talking sometimes and it felt like you didn’t even notice.” Even now, he felt like he needed to walk on eggshells to avoid upsetting Kurt and ruining all of this progress. Being completely honest about the events that led to the breakup was even harder than Blaine anticipated. It reopened a wound that Blaine thought had healed. 

“I’m sorry. I know that original transition period was hard for us. That’s definitely something I can work on. What if we have mandatory Skype dates twice a week?” Kurt asked, smiling at the idea. 

Instead of smoothing this over, this just made Blaine feel worse. They tried that already. “Kurt, we had mandatory Skype dates when you first left. You kept cancelling them.” 

This definitely put a damper on Kurt’s optimistic tone. Blaine watched as Kurt’s smile flattened and the light started to leave his eyes. “I promise I’ll do better.” 

Blaine wanted to believe him, but he knew better. Kurt always promised things that he couldn’t follow through with. Only a minute into the conversation and Blaine was reminded of how sick he was of fighting with Kurt. He just wanted to be friends and leave the past in the past, but Kurt wouldn’t let him. He needed to rehash every bit of their relationship. Even thinking about those months of feeling lonely while Kurt was in New York brought immense pain to Blaine’s chest. “You should just read your first one,” Blaine suggested, hoping he could at least help with whatever Kurt wanted from him. 

Kurt looked down at the list on his phone and then resumed eye contact with Blaine. “It should be an easy one. You can’t cheat.” 

“Of course.” 

“But it’s more than that. There can’t be anyone else,” Kurt continued. Blaine raised an eyebrow at the comment, confused at what else Kurt could mean. “I just want both of us to feel comfortable moving forward and for our relationship to get back to how it was before I left.” 

Blaine nodded, still not fully understanding. What Kurt didn’t realize was that some of Blaine’s problems with Kurt were things from the previous year that he never had the courage to confront. It couldn’t just go back to before Kurt left because Blaine knew he wasn’t happy then, either. “Me, too,” he mumbled, resting a hand on Kurt’s when he sensed hesitation in Kurt’s voice. It was only half of a lie, but Blaine couldn’t fight back that constant urge to make Kurt happy, even if he had to sacrifice his own happiness to do so. 

“Our relationship was at its best when there was no one else. You and I had each other, and we had the New Directions, but that was it. The double dates with Finn and Rachel, confiding only in people we knew we could trust… you talked to Mike, Puck, and Sam and I talked to Mercedes, Rachel, and Finn. It was perfect. But I needed it to be that way. I like to be able to trust your friends,” Kurt explained. His eyes narrowed as he looked at Blaine and that told Blaine everything he needed to know about what Kurt was trying to say. 

“Is this about the Warblers?” 

“One specific Warbler,” Kurt replied. “But yeah, I don’t know what to expect from them. And you don’t either.” 

Blaine’s blank expression shaped into a frown as he listened to Kurt’s words. “They’re my friends, Kurt. The Warblers were there for me long before Sam or Tina or even you.” 

“Where were they last year when one of their own almost blinded you?” Kurt asked accusingly. 

Bringing up Sebastian was never going to end well. It had always been a point of contention between Kurt and Blaine that they never fully worked out, even while they were still dating. After all, that argument didn’t end until Blaine completely cut Sebastian out of his life. “Kurt, I’m not going to cut out all of my friends again. It was really hard for me last year when I couldn’t talk to them.” 

“We agreed on you ending contact with all of them for a reason. It was driving a wedge between you and me,” Kurt justified. 

It was clear on Kurt’s face that he didn’t have any intention of caving on this particular argument. But this time, Blaine wouldn’t cave either. Those guys were his closest friends long before he even met Kurt. And Sebastian was part of that, even if he didn’t come along until later on. “Only because you let it. I never had romantic feelings for any of those guys last year; there was no reason for you to be concerned.” 

Kurt immediately jumped on the opportunity to find a flaw in Blaine’s statement. “Last year? So that’s changed?” 

Blaine’s cheeks turned red as he tried to think of a way to deny it. “No. Besides, this isn’t about that; it’s about you and me.” 

“That’s bullshit, Blaine. It’s always been about them,” Kurt argued, crossing his arms as he finally pulled his hand away from Blaine’s. 

Blaine shook his head, annoyed at Kurt’s sudden mood change. “I don’t get it. You knew I reconnected with them. There were pictures all over social media and someone from McKinley had to have told you that I knew about all of the steroid stuff before it came out. So why are you so shocked that I want them in my life?” 

Shock was the perfect description of Kurt’s expression as he listened to Blaine’s thoughts about the Warblers. His wide eyes and furrowed brow indicated that Blaine was definitely not following Kurt’s script. “I just thought that if we got back together, it would change things.” 

“Do you even want to get back together?” It was a simple enough question; Blaine thought Kurt would know the answer instantly. Yet, Kurt maintained a state of silence as he watched Blaine speak. “You don’t even trust me. Why would you want to get back together?” Blaine added the rephrasing of the question when he started to think Kurt might not respond. 

Kurt frowned at him, unable to explain his exact thoughts. “I think I could trust you again one day. I love you, but I don’t want to keep seeing you with all of these people who tried to tear us apart.” 

“So you were just going to get back together with me so that I would stop hanging out with all of them again? Or did you even intend to get back together at all while I was still talking to them?” Blaine’s tone started to shift as he became upset at Kurt’s expectations. He kept reminding himself why he was at Kurt’s house in the first place. His dad has cancer. He needs you. But that wasn’t enough to make all of the pain of the breakup and all of the other recent developments disappear, especially which Cooper’s words echoing in his mind. 

Kurt was offended by Blaine’s accusations and that pain was displayed across Kurt’s face for the entire world to see. “I guess I… if I’m being completely honest…” 

The words were struggling to leave Kurt’s lips, so Blaine took it upon himself to add some extra encouragement. “It needs to be said, Kurt. Just say it.” 

“I didn’t really want to get back together unless I knew it would be on the condition of you eliminating him from your life,” Kurt explained. He didn’t say Sebastian’s name, but it was there. “I felt like me coming back here and giving you another chance would show you that…” He paused, hesitating to admit what he really wanted to say. 

“Show me what?” Blaine asked, annoyed that Kurt hadn’t figured out he should just be upfront instead of all of these pauses and mumblings that didn’t make any sense. 

“I wanted to show you that you don’t need him, that you have me.” Again, Sebastian’s name was there even in the silence. Kurt’s cheeks were red, and his eyes were filling with tears. He knew that wasn’t the right thing to say right at he said it. 

Blaine resisted the temptation to roll his eyes as Kurt’s true intentions were revealed. He never wanted to get back together; he just didn’t like seeing Blaine move on with someone else. “Why did you even call me on Thanksgiving? Was it just to give me false hope? To lead me to thinking that you were actually willing to listen to what I want? Or to convince me you were ready to forgive me when you clearly aren’t?” Blaine asked, finally ready to start confronting the real issue. Kurt didn’t want to get back together; he was just jealous. This is exactly what Cooper said was happening. Kurt wanted Blaine all to himself, even if he wasn’t ready to give Blaine what he needed. 

“No, I… you stopped texting every day and that’s when the breakup started to feel real. I heard about you hanging out with him and I started to panic that I would lose you forever.” The tears started falling down Kurt’s cheeks and it took everything in Blaine to stay calm. He resisted the urge to pull Kurt into a hug and tell him it would be okay and that none of this mattered. At the end of the day, he knew he shouldn’t do that. This was for his own good. 

“So you only reached out to me because you didn’t want me moving on? Even though you don’t even want to get back together?” Blaine clarified, hoping Kurt would finally admit the truth. 

Kurt tried to shake his head, but he always had a hard time with lying. “Blaine, I love you and I wanted to get back together because I love you. But… I probably would not have forgiven you this soon if it weren’t for seeing all of your pictures with him and hearing the rumors from the glee club.” 

After all of this time, Kurt still wouldn’t say Sebastian’s name in a fight. He would always refer to him in an ominous way, just obvious enough that Blaine knew exactly what he was talking about while still avoiding Blaine’s inevitable defensive reaction. Blaine was so sick of Kurt using Sebastian against him, especially since at the beginning and up until very recently, there was nothing between them at all. But Blaine had enough of denying it and insisting there was nothing between them, only for Kurt to bring it up the next time they got into a fight. He would never believe it even if it was the truth. 

“Kurt, don’t you see that this is just you trying to control me? You heard about me spending time with him and you couldn’t handle it so you came back expecting you could get him out of my life again.” He was sick of playing games and letting Kurt dictate who he could and could not be around. The worst part was that Kurt really thought he could come back and convince Blaine to do anything to win Kurt back. Maybe a few months earlier that would have worked, but not anymore. 

Kurt immediately took offense at the statement and he started to move away from Blaine on the couch. Blaine didn’t even notice that his voice was raising, but clearly others in the house had. Finn was standing in the doorway about to intervene which just reminded Blaine of Burt’s cancer and how horrible this day had already been for Kurt. He knew he shouldn’t be doing this that day of all days, but he figured if he didn’t now, he never would. “I can’t just go on like how things have been. You cheated on me, Blaine. How am I supposed to trust you if you’re still spending all of your time in Lima with people who are trying to get you all to themselves?” Kurt was fighting back and clearly not understanding the point Blaine was trying to make. 

“You’re never going to trust me. I’m never going to be able to have friends that aren’t your friends. It’s not like any of the Warblers other than Sebastian ever hit on me, but you don’t want me hanging out with any of them,” Blaine explained. Finally, Sebastian’s name was said, and it felt as if everything was finally out in the open. Blaine never admitted how he truly felt when Kurt isolated him from the boys at Dalton, and now he did. Kurt didn’t want him to have his own friends and it was just another extension of Kurt’s control over him. 

“I can’t get back together with you if I can’t trust you to put our relationship first,” Kurt said as he threw his hands in the air and stood up. “Well I can’t get back together with you if you can’t forgive me. And it seems like you’re never going to forgive me.” Blaine glanced at Finn in the corner who was trying to figure out whether or not he should interrupt the conversation. This escalated much more than Blaine ever intended for it to. 

Kurt shook his head and started to make his way toward the stairs so he could escape the conversation. “I guess that means we’re done then.” He exited the room so that Blaine couldn’t see him anymore and soon, he was left standing in the living room alone with Finn in silence. 

Blaine didn’t notice the tears streaming from his eyes until silence filled the room and he had the time to think about what he was doing. “Wait…Kurt…” His confidence disappeared as he realized how final this all seemed. Maybe he wasn’t sure. Maybe he needed more time to think. He started to follow Kurt up the stairs until he stopped himself in his tracks. Not anymore, he told himself. He was done fighting for something he didn’t even want. 

It was freeing, really. As Blaine turned around, walked back down the stairs, passed Finn, and opened the front door, he didn’t look back once. It was done for real this time. No more feeling guilty about spending time with the Warblers, with Sebastian. No more thinking about Kurt all day every day wishing he would come home. 

He spent a good hour driving around, thinking about everything. He knew he shouldn’t jump on this opportunity to be with Sebastian. Now that things were over for real, he needed to take some time to himself to think and really establish who he was without a boyfriend. At the same time, all he wanted was to call Sebastian. But he resisted. 

When Blaine finally went home, it was late. His parents were in bed and the entire house was silent. The silence was draining for someone so full of adrenaline that he couldn’t possibly think about falling asleep. He got a text from Sam asking what went down with Kurt and inviting him to hang out, but he wasn’t about to go back to that house after leaving so confidently only a few hours earlier. All he really wanted was to talk to Sebastian, but he never got a reply to the message he’d sent apologizing for cancelling their plans and asking to reschedule, so he figured Sebastian was too busy and this revelation could wait for the next day. 

It was almost one in the morning when Blaine was still lying in bed wide awake watching the old episodes of Full House that ran every night. He didn’t feel anywhere closer to falling asleep but was sure no one would be awake to talk, so he decided to keep his focus on the TV. 

To Blaine’s surprise, his focus was interrupted by a phone call. Sebastian’s name and a picture of him popped up on his phone. As Blaine answered, he worried about what he might hear on the other end. It was so late that it could only mean two things: either Sebastian was very upset, or he was very, very drunk. “Hello?” Blaine asked. 

He could hear Sebastian let out a sigh on the other end, but there was a lot of noise. It sounded like he was somewhere with music playing in the distance and the occasional police siren. “Can you… I’m really drunk… I need a ride.” He certainly sounded drunk. It took Blaine a few moments to even understand that Sebastian was asking him for a ride because of how muddled all of the words sounded. 

Blaine’s heart sank as he spoke. He didn’t know exactly what he was hoping for, but he knew everything would be better if Sebastian was sober. “Where are you?” 

For a while, Sebastian was silent, and Blaine started to worry that he might have passed out or something. But he snapped back to consciousness and answered the question. “I’ll send you my location.” 

A few seconds later, Sebastian hung up and texted Blaine a map with his location on it. Blaine didn’t bother changing; he had already been wearing Sebastian’s lacrosse sweatshirt since he got home from Kurt’s house. It didn’t take long before Blaine was in his car and on his way to pick up Sebastian, nervous about what he would find when he arrived. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Unfortunately, this chapter is a little bit shorter than the others have been. If I were to do things differently, I probably would have added this to the end of chapter 11. But what's done is done and it doesn't make sense added onto the beginning of chapter 13, so here we are. 
> 
> Anyway, I really like how this chapter turned out despite being a bit on the shorter end, so I hope you enjoy! Kudos and comments always appreciated :)

Blaine had to admit he was happy to hear from Sebastian, even if he was wasted. He was trying so hard to put off this confrontation, the moment when he’d see Sebastian again and be unable to stop himself from confessing that he finally knew how he felt. It was too soon to start anything with someone else, of course, but why? Shouldn’t that be up to him to decide? And wasn’t he ready until Kurt walked back into the picture on Christmas Eve? Blaine decided he wouldn’t say anything to Sebastian about this epiphany until the morning. After all, he had no idea what condition he’d find the boy in when he arrived at the unknown location and he definitely didn’t want this memory to be spoiled by the smell of liquor on Sebastian’s breath or the inevitable exhaustion that would hit Blaine like a brick any minute. Still, he was so close to figuring out exactly what he wanted, and at this point, he knew that was Sebastian. Even seeing his name on Blaine’s phone gave him a glimmer of hope. 

A little less than an hour after their phone call, Blaine parked his car on the side of the road near the location Sebastian sent him. He looked around a bit, expecting to see the other boy in an obvious location waiting for him, but Sebastian was nowhere to be seen. It was a little outside of Columbus, so there weren’t many cars nearby or large buildings. Just lots of trees and browning grass. For a moment Blaine considered that Sebastian sent the wrong location, or that his phone brought him to the wrong place. But he double checked, and this was definitely right. He just couldn’t figure out how the hell Sebastian ended up in the middle of nowhere, wasted and with no way to get home. It was a troubling thought, and Blaine’s heart ached as he worried for the boy’s safety. 

After wandering around for a while, Blaine’s eyes finally landed on Sebastian lying against a tree about a block away from where Blaine parked his car. The entire area was covered in a thin layer of snow and Blaine was instantly concerned when he noticed Sebastian’s hand on the ground holding a flask and the other wiping sweat from his forehead. He’d been lying outside in the snow for over an hour in no condition to take care of himself. At first, Blaine rushed to his side, concerned that he might’ve passed out or gotten some sort of alcohol poisoning. But when he realized Sebastian was still mostly conscious and sipping out of the flask, he let out a sigh of relief and rolled his eyes. “I’ll take that,” Blaine said as he took the flask and reached for Sebastian’s hand. 

“Don’t you have a boyfriend to fuck tonight?” Sebastian muttered. He pulled his hand away from Blaine to stand up on his own, stumbling a bit in the process. 

Blaine frowned at the reaction. He turned around abruptly and started to walk back to his car. “I’m ignoring that because you’re way too drunk to have a real conversation right now.” He needed to stick to his plan: no serious talk, at least until tomorrow. 

Sebastian chuckled and helped himself into the passenger seat of the car. “And you’re way too sober to have any fun. Such a buzzkill.” 

Blaine tried his best to ignore him. He kept reassuring himself that Sebastian was just drunk and not intending to be mean, but he knew better. Normally, Sebastian was an obnoxious flirt after a few drinks. This was so much worse than that. In fairness, Sebastian clearly had a lot more than just a few drinks. “I drove an hour at one in the morning to pick you up so you could be a little bit more grateful.” 

Sebastian’s head collapsed against the window as he stared out of it and Blaine started driving. “Where are you going?” Sebastian asked when he noticed Blaine driving north. 

“I’m bringing you to my house. You need clean clothes and someone who will make sure you get some water and sleep,” Blaine replied, not bothering to look at Sebastian for approval. 

Sebastian’s head immediately turned to Blaine. “Take me home.” 

“Why? You hate it there.” 

“You know what I hate more? Being ditched so you can spend time with your ex-boyfriend,” Sebastian replied, bitterness in every word. 

Blaine’s frown grew larger with every word as he continued driving toward his own house. “We’re not talking about this right now. You clearly need someone who’s going to look out for you, and I’ve heard enough about your family to not trust them to do that.” He glanced over at Sebastian and noticed how terrible he smelled. It was like a mixture of sweat, tequila, and sewer water. “You smell like shit.” 

“I spent half my night in a bathroom, so that makes sense,” Sebastian replied. He ran a hand through his wet hair and Blaine couldn’t help but sigh a little at how attractive the motion was. Out of the corner of Blaine’s eye, he noticed Sebastian’s arm flex as he reached up to fix his hair. Despite the horrendous smell, he could’ve kissed him right there, giving up on his whole no moves until the morning rule. The sweat dripping from his forehead and his stupid cocky smile drove him insane. 

“Please don’t vomit in my car,” Blaine requested. He assumed Sebastian’s bathroom comment meant he’d been throwing up based on the awful smell and how wasted he seemed. Why else would he have spent the night in the bathroom of a bar? Unless… 

A smirk spread across Sebastian’s lips as he turned to Blaine. “That is not what I was doing in the bathroom.” 

As Blaine finally realized what Sebastian meant, he made a desperate attempt to conceal his disappointment. He reminded himself that he ditched Sebastian first. He bailed on the one day they’d been looking forward to for weeks. He left Sebastian to spend the day comforting his ex-boyfriend, someone Sebastian never truly believed Blaine was over. Even then, it felt horrible knowing that they were supposed to spend the day together for the first time in almost a month and yet, Sebastian spent the entire night in the bathroom of a bar with some other guy. He wanted to ignore it and pretend it didn’t bother him, but it clearly did. And Sebastian knew him too well. “What? Are you jealous or something?” Sebastian asked. But there was a suspicious hint of a scheme present in Sebastian’s voice, just hidden enough that Blaine probably wouldn’t have noticed it under any other circumstance. But the liquor and the tension in that car joined forces to tell Blaine exactly what he already suspected: Sebastian wanted him to be jealous. 

This realization upset him even more as he tried to shake his head. It either meant Sebastian was even more upset than Blaine anticipated, or, and this was the option Blaine preferred, Sebastian had real feelings for him that he didn’t know how to express. Or maybe both. “You’re insufferable,” Blaine mumbled under his breath, incapable of expressing how he really felt about all of it. 

“That’s not what John thought. Or Jack. Or the three other guys that bought me drinks tonight.” He glanced at Blaine to make sure he was listening. He knew exactly what to do to push Blaine’s buttons. 

Blaine tried not to react, kept his eyes on the road and turned up the music so that maybe Sebastian would stop talking. Every word the other boy uttered hurt, and Blaine didn’t have the energy to try to explain himself. He was overwhelmed with emotions and Sebastian was probably too drunk to understand any of them. 

It was one of the most uncomfortable car rides of Blaine’s life. He figured Sebastian eventually fell asleep after they stopped talking; it was a pretty long drive back to Lima. But after an hour of Blaine pretending to focus on the radio rather than this boy he liked, possibly loved, passed out in the seat next to him, he finally pulled the car into his own driveway. Somewhere along the way Sebastian must have woken up because he barely waited for Blaine to put the car in park before he unbuckled his seat belt and stumbled out. He almost face planted as he crawled his way out of the car, barely catching himself before Blaine grabbed his arm to help him get into the house. Sebastian reacted by lightly shoving Blaine away, causing him to stumble a few feet backward. “I’m just trying to help you,” Blaine justified. He stepped toward Sebastian again and tried to grab onto his arm one more time. 

At the hint of another touch, Sebastian stumbled backward a few feet and tried to stabilize himself. Any hint of a smirk disappeared from his lips as Sebastian stared back at Blaine. “Don’t fucking touch me,” he snapped. 

Blaine thought he was joking at first but as he looked at the expression in Sebastian’s eyes, he could tell this was serious. “What the hell is going on with you?” 

Sebastian looked into his eyes, his walls breaking down only for a moment. He looked like he was in physical pain as the bags under his eyes grew larger and the green hues started to fade. But just as quickly, he returned to refusing to let Blaine see any sign of weakness. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He turned around and walked toward the door to Blaine’s house. 

Blaine followed him, refusing to give up on finishing this conversation. “You’re getting drunk and yelling at me and hooking up with random guys. I thought we were friends.” It wasn’t exactly what he wanted to say since “friends” wasn’t exactly what they were at all, but it just came out. If Sebastian wouldn’t give him anything more, then they needed to at least have that. 

“If we’re just friends, then I can hook up with whoever I want,” Sebastian replied, leaning against the wall to Blaine’s house. 

Blaine could not accept that as an answer; it didn’t explain any of this. “We’re not just friends, Sebastian. Not anymore.” 

“Maybe you should tell your boyfriend that.” 

“He’s not my boyfriend anymore!” Blaine practically screamed. He was so sick of every part of their relationship revolving around Kurt. Kurt had nothing to do with this fight and he didn’t want Kurt stopping them from having something great. 

Sebastian didn’t seem phased in the least by Blaine’s anger. He crossed his arms, barely keeping himself upright as he supported himself with the wall. “Tell him that. Better yet, tell yourself that.” 

“What the hell does that mean? It’s over. It’s been over for a long time. You know that,” Blaine insisted, reaching out for Sebastian’s hand one more time. 

Like clockwork, Sebastian pulled his hand away. “It sure doesn’t look like it when you go on your stupid little ice-skating dates and share hot chocolate and kisses for the whole world to see. Or when you drop everything because he’s having a bad day.” Sebastian grabbed the keys from Blaine’s hand and searched for the one that fit the front door. “Jesus, Blaine, just open the damn door so we can stop having this pointless conversation.” He forced the key into the doorknob, aggressively shoving the door open. 

Suddenly Blaine was reminded of the Warblers who saw Kurt and Blaine together when they kissed on Christmas Eve. He could see the pain in Sebastian’s eyes as he listed off all of the recent events with Kurt. “It’s not like you’re not doing the same thing. You had sex with some guy you don’t even know in a public bathroom tonight.” 

Sebastian ignored him, refusing to take part in this argument. As much as Blaine knew there was no point when Sebastian was in this condition, he couldn’t help himself. He was too upset and worried and nervous about what this all meant. “I’m sleeping in your guest room,” Sebastian muttered, making his way upstairs. He’d probably only walked past the room once, but Blaine didn’t question how he could possibly remember its location. “Just leave me alone.” 

“I thought there was something going on with us. Something real,” Blaine explained, his voice breaking as he followed Sebastian upstairs and tried to get him to talk. So much for nothing serious that night. “It was just one day, and you hooked up with someone else.” 

Sebastian rolled his eyes and finally locked eyes with him. He was clearly still struggling to get words out. “You can’t tell me what to do. I’m not your boyfriend.” He took a step toward him and Blaine could feel the anger radiating off of his body. 

“Yeah, and you never will be if you keep having sex with everything that moves,” Blaine snapped back. He took a step backward when he felt Sebastian getting closer. He was a little bit afraid of what this Sebastian might be capable of. He didn’t think he would hurt him, but he knew Sebastian had a tendency to lose it and say things that he might later regret. 

Sebastian finally backed Blaine against the wall in the hallway outside the guest room, staring down at him with fiery eyes and clenched teeth. Blaine stared up at him, hopeless and completely at his mercy as Sebastian said his most coherent sentence of the night. “I’m not just going to sit around and wait until you wake up one day and realize you’re in love with me.” 

As soon as he finished speaking, he turned around and stormed across the hall and into the guest room, slamming the door behind him and ignoring any protests from Blaine, not that Blaine had any left in him. He stood alone in the hallway of his own home in shock. Tears filled his eyes as he tried to process what happened and how things spiraled out of control so quickly. His mouth hung open as he tried to wipe the tears from his eyes. Sebastian could come back at any moment and he wouldn’t let him see him cry. He couldn’t believe he screwed all of this up so quickly. He was finally free of feeling like he was tied to Kurt and now he couldn’t even do anything about it because he already messed everything up with Sebastian. 

Blaine didn’t know what else he could do other than leave. Sebastian was probably already passed out and there was no use trying to take care of him when that was obviously not what Sebastian wanted. He made his way back into his own room, wishing he could redo this day, make everything go back to how it was before. He remembered smiling as he woke up that morning, picturing how wonderful his day with Sebastian could be. Now that was all gone, and all that remained were the lingering tears in Blaine’s eyes and the feeling that he messed everything up. Even worse was the realization that Sebastian just might not want him anymore. 

As Blaine crawled into bed, unable to stop himself from spiraling into a place he hoped to never find himself in again after the breakup with Kurt, he finally started to drift off to sleep, searching for any glimmer of hope that the Sebastian he woke up to in the morning would be the one he’d grown to love. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thanks for all of the lovely feedback on the last chapter. This one is a bit on the longer side and is kind of a filler to put us where we need to be for the next chapter (feat. some of the New Directions that I never usually write for).
> 
> Also PSA- I changed my user so if you don't recognize it, I promise I'm still the same person.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Comments and kudos always appreciated :)

When he woke up the morning after his fight with Sebastian, Blaine dreaded leaving his room. He figured Sebastian would still be asleep after how much he drank the night before, but even the thought of resuming their conversation from the night before made Blaine want to go back to sleep, avoid his problems for another day. Sebastian’s words just kept ringing in his ears. _I’m not just going to sit around and wait until you wake up one day and realize you’re in love with me._

Was that what Blaine was doing? Just waiting, making Sebastian sit around while he procrastinated making a decision about what he really wanted? No, Blaine reminded himself, you know how you feel. He knew he wanted Sebastian. He wanted him more than he’d ever wanted anything. Why couldn’t he say that? But he knew why. It was the fear. Fear that he’d already screwed it all up. Fear that he’d made a mistake with Kurt. Fear that he’d make the wrong decision. Fear that he’d put himself out there only to be rejected. Fear that Sebastian would refuse to commit, and Blaine would end up hurt again. Fear that he’d lose one of his closest friends and the guy he maybe loved all at once. And worst of all, fear that Sebastian might not love him back. 

It was an hour of restless, all-consuming fear before Blaine dragged himself out of bed. He needed to check on Sebastian, even if he was terrified of picking up where they’d left off the night before. No matter how crappy he felt, he needed to make sure Sebastian was okay. The guest room was down the hall and around a corner, but it still took Blaine longer than he would ever admit to make his way to that door. Maybe if he could procrastinate just a little bit longer…

When he finally arrived, he was shocked to find the door was open. All signs of Sebastian were gone except for the slight stench Blaine was all too familiar with from the night before. The bed was made, albeit slightly messier than the way Mrs. Anderson liked it. It was almost as if Sebastian was never there at all, and for a moment Blaine considered that maybe he’d imagined the whole thing. In fact, he wished that was the case, that he could take it all back and never let Sebastian yell at him like that, never let himself yell back. Never let himself cancel their plans in the first place. 

After finding the guest room empty, Blaine decided to check downstairs. Maybe Sebastian woke up and decided to make himself some breakfast. How could he have possibly gotten home? Who would’ve given him a ride from Lima to Columbus? But Sebastian was still nowhere to be seen and a million possible explanations raced through Blaine’s mind. Maybe Sebastian left in the middle of the night and started wandering around the neighborhood. Maybe he left immediately after Blaine went to sleep. Maybe he was hurt somewhere or keeled over on the side of the road like how Blaine had found him the night before. 

_Where’d you go? Are you okay? -Blaine_

He knew he should check in, verify that Sebastian was at least alive and nursing his hangover. But he didn’t want to push it. After a while, he started to freak out. He tried calling a few times but didn’t get an answer, just Sebastian’s voicemail. He decided to let it be for a moment, desperately hoping Sebastian was okay. But an hour passed and still nothing. For once, he hoped that Sebastian was just ignoring him. Any other explanation was almost too scary to even consider. So he sent another text, this time letting Sebastian know he was worried and needed some sort of reassurance that he was okay. 

_I know things are weird, but will you please text me so that I know you’re okay? Or at least alive? -Blaine_

It might have been a bit harsh, especially if any of the worst-case scenarios in Blaine’s mind were actually true, but after the words Sebastian used the night before, it seemed appropriate. After all, he probably just got a ride and Blaine was freaking out over nothing. He started to let his mind wander again as he returned to his room, sitting on his bed to contemplate where he’d gone wrong. He started to imagine what Sebastian might say if he ever replied. Hopefully it was some sort of explanation, maybe even an apology. He knew he shouldn’t expect that from Sebastian. Sure, he’d gotten better at expressing his feelings over time, but Blaine was certain he’d only heard Sebastian use the words “I’m sorry” a handful of times, a majority of which were related to the slushy incident. But despite it all, Blaine wasn’t sure Sebastian should be the one apologizing. The way he’d spoken to Blaine was horrible, but maybe it was deserved. Blaine did abandon him without much of an explanation to spend the day with Kurt. 

After however long Blaine spent contemplating what Sebastian’s response might be, he was shocked to find a response to his text, not that it was the informative explanation he was hoping for. 

_I’m alive. -Sebastian_

Blaine had no idea what he did that meant now Sebastian got to be mad at him, but that was the tone implied in the message. He wasn’t the one who hooked up with some other guy, got wasted, and then screamed at him when all Blaine was trying to do was take care of him. His answer was short and something about it felt aggressive. But Blaine really wasn’t in the mood to put up with that. He clicked on Sebastian’s contact again and the phone started ringing as he waited for the other boy to answer the phone and say something, anything to make this all okay. 

He should’ve known Sebastian wouldn’t pick up. For someone as confident as Sebastian, he usually avoided confrontations like this, especially if it involved anything remotely related to his feelings. 

_Are you done being a dick to me? -Blaine_

He knew it was a little bit much, but he also knew that he needed to start doing things differently if he was going to avoid getting pushed around and controlled by guys. A lot of it was still about Kurt. Now, he wanted to make sure he would do things differently. 

_Have you ever considered that maybe I just am a dick? -Sebastian_

The text sent Blaine’s eyes rolling into the back of his head. There was nothing he hated more about Sebastian than when he reverted back to old habits. He should’ve known by then that Blaine didn’t think he was a dick. Sebastian couldn’t pretend he didn’t have a heart anymore. 

_You’re not. Are you ready to talk to me now or are you going to continue being an asshole? -Blaine_

This time, Sebastian didn’t respond right away. Blaine resisted the temptation to try calling him again, deciding it was better to wait for whatever response Sebastian would give next. Maybe he would call again in a few hours or something, but for now he knew he needed to figure out a way to distract himself for the day. What he really needed was some time with his friends to get his mind off of all of the drama with Kurt and Sebastian. Besides, with how mad he was about the situation, he really wanted Tina to tell him how stupid he was for letting Sebastian back into his life. He decided to start a group call in the New Directions chat to see if anyone was free. 

Sam was the first person to answer, and Blaine could see Brittany sitting next to him on the screen. “Hey, man, what’s up?” Sam asked as he smiled through the phone. 

“Hey, I’m just bored. We should do something fun today,” Blaine suggested. He hoped Sam didn’t have specific plans with Brittany already and that they’d be willing to accept a third wheel. Although, in all honestly, it usually felt like Brittany was the third wheel to the two of them, not that Brittany really cared. 

Tina got on the call almost immediately after Blaine finished speaking and Marley soon followed. They both seemed eager to hang out as well. “Please tell me you’re calling to make plans. I’m so bored and lonely,” Tina said with a sigh. 

“Same. Jake is still in L.A. and I’m desperate to get out of the house,” Marley added. 

As more of the New Directions joined the call, it started to seem like almost everyone wanted to get together. Jake, Unique, Sugar, Artie, and Joe were all busy with their families or out of town for the break, but everyone else was on board. Luckily, Sam was at Brittany’s house and she offered for everyone to come there. Blaine was not about to spend another day at Kurt’s house where Sam was still living. He didn’t want to deal with anymore drama; he just wanted it all to be done. 

After taking a quick shower and throwing on jeans and a sweater, Blaine got in his car and drove to Brittany’s house. He parked in the driveway and started to open his car door until he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Another message from Sebastian. 

_I thought about it, and I decided that I’m going to continue to be an asshole. -Sebastian_

It was annoying how much it felt like a big joke to Sebastian. As Blaine read the text, he realized that on any other day he would find Sebastian’s smartass comments compelling. But not anymore. He was devastated that Sebastian would ever treat him the way he did when he was drunk. The worst part was that he still didn’t really understand why. 

Just as Blaine’s mind started to run through everything that happened the night before, he stopped himself. He was not about to waste his time thinking about the meaning of each word that Sebastian said. 

_Fine. Text me when you’re ready to stop treating me like shit. -Blaine_

It was probably better to put the responsibility on Sebastian. Maybe then he’d come to his senses and actually realize it was okay to have feelings. Or maybe putting the ball in Sebastian’s court was a terrible idea and Blaine would never hear from him again. But either way, Blaine knew he needed to focus on something else. As soon as he hit send, he tossed his phone into the backseat of his car. No matter what, he was going to have a good day with his friends. 

Blaine knocked on the front door to Brittany’s house and then walked in, knowing Britt wouldn’t mind him letting himself in. He helped himself to the basement where most of the glee club was situated in predictable positions. Kitty and Marley sat together on the floor near the TV while Sam, Brittany, and Tina all sat close together on the couch. Ryder was in his own little world in a chair by himself, texting someone from his phone. “Blaine, I’m so glad you came!” Tina announced as everyone else greeted him. 

Blaine searched the room for somewhere to sit and settled on squeezing onto the couch next to Tina, but before he could sit down, Sam grabbed Blaine’s arm and pulled him toward the area where he was sitting with Brittany. “Dude, I haven’t seen you in like days. Update us on everything,” Sam insisted as Blaine took a seat next to Sam. 

Blaine shrugged and looked down, wishing they could skip this part. The last thing he wanted was to explain what the hell was going on in his messed-up brain to this group of people who hated Sebastian. “You know, same old. How’s everyone else?” 

“No way, you can’t avoid the question. Sam said you were fighting with Kurt yesterday,” Tina interrupted, turning her attention toward Blaine as she crossed her arms. 

“Tina,” Sam scolded before turning back to Blaine. “Sorry bro.” 

Out of the corner of his eye, Blaine noticed Kitty in the front of the room rolling her eyes. “How predictable. Tina blabbed everyone’s secrets again.” 

“Shut up, Kitty,” Tina said, glaring at the blonde as she turned to Blaine, still waiting for an explanation. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” 

Blaine sighed, wishing he could somehow avoid this subject forever. But even the newbies knew too much at this point for Blaine to just brush it off. Plus, Blaine would’ve rather had his friends hear his version of the story than whatever version Finn and Kurt would tell them. “Kurt didn’t want to get back together with me unless I agreed to stop talking to all of the Warblers. It just came down to a lot of bigger arguments that we never really dealt with when he was still at McKinley and when he left for NYADA. Turns out he only came back home for Christmas because he was jealous that I was spending time with Sebastian.” 

The rest of the New Directions nodded along, some of them clearly confused about some parts of the story. “Oh, I had no idea things got so bad between you two,” Sam commented. 

“Yeah, well,” Blaine started, but paused when he was unsure of what to say next. He was sick of talking about Kurt and letting the tension with him get in the way of his other relationships. He would’ve much rather asked Tina if she’d seen Mike over break or heard about Sam’s Christmas with Brittany’s family. “I think it’s a good thing. I actually feel okay about it.” 

Tina’s eyebrow raised. “So you think you might be ready to date other people?” 

The question caused Blaine’s mind to take a step back, shocked by Tina’s immediate attention to something like that. It wasn’t that he didn’t think he was ready but rather that he had no idea why Tina felt the need to ask about it. “I don’t know, maybe. Why do you ask?” This time Sam chimed in, clearly on the same page as Tina. “I was gonna ask the same thing. I mean know I’m kinda dumb, but I’m not dumb about this.” He narrowed his eyes as he looked at Blaine, daring him to admit the truth. 

Blaine stared at Sam like he was crazy. He honestly had no idea what he was talking about. “About what?” 

“Sebastian is totally into you. And you’re totally into him, too,” Sam explained, as if it was supposed to be obvious. “Why aren’t you spending your winter break with him?” 

Blaine rolled his eyes when Sam finally revealed the truth. Sure, he’d basically admitted to himself that he was falling for Sebastian. Maybe if Sebastian could get over this whole Kurt thing. And maybe if there was any possibility that Sebastian could be the slightest bit monogamous… no, it wasn’t even worth considering. Blaine knew it would never happen. He and Sebastian were always going to be something a little more than friends and a little less than something better. Plus, it definitely didn’t matter. Sebastian was done with him; he made that pretty clear with his attitude the night before and his text that morning. “He’s kind of being an asshole right now.” He decided that would be enough of an explanation. Hopefully everyone would understand. After all, most of them hated Sebastian and the Warblers. 

“Is that really a surprise?” Tina asked, prompting Brittany to shove her a little. 

“Hang on, why?” Sam asked, his attention still focused on Blaine. Blaine gave him a confused frown as his head tilted to the side like a dog. Did Sebastian ever need a reason to be an asshole? “He’s been really cool with you for months now. So why now?” 

As Blaine thought about it, he realized how stupid he’d been. He was so focused on how angry Sebastian was and how mad Blaine was in return that he never even stopped for a second to think about it. Of course there was a reason for all of this. Of course Sebastian wasn’t just being an asshole to be an asshole. Sebastian acted out because Blaine spent the day with Kurt. He cancelled their plans that both of them were looking forward to in order to spend the day with his ex-boyfriend, the person who Blaine promised Sebastian would never get in the way of their friendship. If he didn’t feel bad before, he definitely did now. 

Sebastian practically drilled it into Blaine’s head that he refused to be a rebound that would be rejected the second Kurt threw Blaine a bone. From an outsider’s perspective, that is definitely what this situation must have looked like. Sebastian had no idea how much Blaine was looking forward to spending time with him, even after Kurt told him he wanted to get back together. The only version of the story Sebastian knew was that Blaine cancelled their plans to rush to his ex-boyfriend’s side after kissing him only a few days earlier and sharing an admittedly romantic ice-skating date. 

“Oh my god, I’m an idiot,” Blaine blurted out, cursing himself for not understanding why Sebastian reacted the way he did. Sam waited for more of an explanation, clearly confused as to why Blaine of all people thought he was an idiot. “I cancelled my plans with him yesterday to go to Kurt’s house.” 

Sam hit Blaine’s arm and then grabbed his shoulder, getting closer to emphasize his point. “Yep, you’re an idiot.” 

“I didn’t even tell him why. I just said it was an emergency.” Blaine shook his head as he sunk to the floor, slamming his head against the wall. “How did I fuck this up already?” 

Sam sat down next to him and shoved him again, this time much more gently. “You haven’t fucked it up yet. Well, maybe you did a little bit. But you can still fix it. He clearly likes you if he would freak out this much from you hanging out with Kurt.” 

Blaine stared at the wall in front of him, trying to think of a solution to this problem. He felt so stupid for not seeing the truth when it was right in front of him. All he wanted was another chance to do the night before all over again. He would not have snapped so easily or forced Sebastian to talk when he clearly wasn’t ready. He would have fought for him; he would have followed him into the guest room or sat outside until Sebastian let him in. At least then Sebastian would know that he cared. 

“Even I can tell that guy likes you,” Ryder chimed in, looking up from his phone for the first time since Blaine arrived at Brittany’s house. “After Grease, he was looking everywhere for you. He stopped me in the hall and said something about how he needed to find you before he left. And you can just tell when someone’s really into someone, you know?” 

Blaine listened, a smile creeping up on his lips as he remembered that night. It was one of the longest nights of his life, part of it spent performing in the musical, the next drinking at Sebastian’s house and getting in a huge fight over an almost kiss and ending the night with a heart-to-heart in Sebastian’s room that finally showed Blaine the reason why they needed to take things a little bit more slowly than he originally thought. 

“Yeah, and I haven’t known you for very long and I’ve never met him,” Marley added, “but you’ve been a lot happier recently than when we first met.” 

Tina chimed in next, reaching for Blaine’s hand. “Even I’ll admit that it’s obvious you’re in love with him. I don’t think he’s a great guy, but if he’s the person who’s going to make you happy, then you should go for it.” 

Blaine nodded, looking around the room with a weak smile as he realized they were all right. He was in love with Sebastian and he was sick of pretending that he wasn’t. “I have to go,” Blaine abruptly blurted out. He was still staring at the wall when he said it, so completely focused on his own thoughts that he couldn’t bring himself to look at any of his friends. 

Sam gave Blaine a gentle shove to snap him out of his daze. “What are you talking about?” 

“I need to talk to him,” Blaine replied. He stood up and made a beeline toward the door with Sam yelling after him. 

“Good luck, bro,” Sam yelled as the rest of the New Directions echoed the sentiment from beside him. 

Before Sam or anyone else could say another word, Blaine was already in his car and driving down the street. Blaine didn’t even have the time to process it himself; he just needed to go. He was going to fix all of this. He would straighten things out with Sebastian and make everything okay again. There was no other way. 

The entire drive to Columbus for Blaine was spent contemplating what he would say when he got there. He didn’t even know how to get Sebastian to listen to him much less believe him when he told him how he felt, not that he even knew himself. Blaine contemplated turning around so many times. But every time he considered it, he pictured Sebastian towering over him the night before while he yelled at him, those same words cycling through his brain. _I’m not just going to sit around and wait until you wake up one day and realize you’re in love with me._ Every time he reminded himself of those words, he knew he needed to make things right. Because it wasn’t that Blaine was waiting to realize he was in love with Sebastian; it was that he was too afraid to admit it. It was like Blaine was watching himself from outside of his own body as he approached Sebastian’s front door. He couldn’t believe he actually made it there. He didn’t even turn on the radio in the car because he was too preoccupied with his own thoughts, which is why it surprised him when his fist reached up and knocked on the door. 

When someone appeared on the other side, he was shocked to see it wasn’t Sebastian. He never considered that maybe Sebastian wouldn’t be home, or someone else could be the first to the door. The girl on the other side was a little bit younger with long wavy hair not much darker than Sebastian’s. She had green eyes almost as striking as Sebastian’s, but younger with a hint of innocence that Sebastian’s eyes rarely revealed. “Who are you?” The girl, who Blaine assumed was Sebastian’s sister, asked. 

The sass in her voice told Blaine exactly why Sebastian didn’t like her. Ironically, it sounded oddly similar to Sebastian’s. “I’m Blaine. Is Sebastian here?” 

Sebastian’s sister rolled her eyes and stepped to the side, gesturing for Blaine to come inside. “He’s at lacrosse practice. You can wait here if you want.” 

Blaine thought about it for a while before making a decision. He could stay, or he could drive to Dalton and wait for Sebastian’s practice to be over. He wanted to see him as soon as possible, so that seemed like a good idea, until he realized that there would be others around, and he didn’t want Sebastian to freak out from the pressure. He figured things would go over best if Sebastian was at home. “Okay,” Blaine agreed as he stepped inside. 

“I’m Genevieve, by the way, but everyone calls me Evie. I’m Sebastian’s sister,” she said as she stuck her hand out for Blaine to shake. “So you’re the guy Seb’s been sulking over for all of winter break.” 

Seb certainly had a nice ring to it. Blaine couldn’t help but let out a short laugh at the nickname. It all seemed so wholesome and domestic. More than that, it made him wonder if there was ever a time where Sebastian was close with his sister. “He’s been sulking?” Blaine asked. The idea was somewhat shocking. He never pictured Sebastian sad over a guy, much less him. He knew they were friends now, but Sebastian was always one for random hookups, not caring for real. 

“I mean I haven’t seen him without a bottle of booze since before Christmas, and that includes when I picked him up from your house this morning,” Evie explained. She motioned her hand so that Blaine would follow her into the living room. Ah, so that’s how Sebastian got home. 

Blaine took a seat first, looking at Evie with his eyebrows raised. He was surprised that Sebastian was taking this so hard. There had to be something else to it. Evie was way off. In fact, it was much more likely that Sebastian’s parents were the reason for Sebastian’s drinking. “And that’s about me?” 

Evie’s eyes widened in response. “Wow, you’re just as clueless as him.” 

Blaine turned his attention away from her and fought the eye roll threatening to break through. He knew this couldn’t be about him. Sure, Sebastian might have been pissed at him, but it wasn’t the thing that was pushing him over the edge. “You just met me,” Blaine reminded her. He was somewhat insulted by the statement. Clueless? No. A little bit slow? Maybe. It took him almost a full day to realize Sebastian was upset that he spent time with Kurt. “That’s kind of rude,” he added defensively. Then he started to consider the comment for its other meaning. Did Sebastian talk to her about him? 

“You’re both idiots. You like him, he likes you. It’s rare that someone gets to him like you do. Even his fights with my dad don’t make him spiral like this anymore. And it’s even more rare that you find someone who actually cares about you and wants to be with you for more than just temporary satisfaction. I honestly never thought Sebastian would want to settle down. But it’s painfully obvious that that’s what he wants with you,” she explained, crossing her arms as if it was the simplest concept. It was becoming clear that Evie was either full of shit, talked to Sebastian way more than he let on, or she had that same ability to completely see through people that Sebastian always had. 

“What are you doing here?” An annoyed voice interrupted. Blaine turned to see Sebastian standing in the doorway. 

He had to admit he looked pretty hot in his lacrosse gear. Sebastian was still a little sweaty from practice and definitely needed a shower, but that made Blaine admire him even more. His hair was damp and hanging over his forehead while his cheeks were a little red from the exercise. Blaine had never paid so much attention to his arms which were completely exposed in his muscle tee. He actually was a lot more muscular than people gave him credit for. As he lifted a towel to his forehead to continue wiping himself off, Blaine felt himself melting to the floor. He never thought he had much of a thing for athletes until then. 

“Will you stop gawking and answer me?” Sebastian asked, snapping Blaine out of his gaze. The tone of his voice was different this time. There was no sign of his smoky, flirtatious undertones and instead, he just sounded mad. 

Blaine’s eyes immediately shifted from Sebastian’s biceps to his eyes. “I wasn’t gawking,” he tried to argue, but he knew better. He’d been staring at Sebastian’s body for god knows how long. He couldn’t believe he’d already embarrassed himself this much before he even started talking about their relationship. “I needed to talk to you.” 

At some point while Blaine was ogling at Sebastian, Evie must have left the room. It was just the two of them now, and nothing was stopping Blaine from saying everything he needed to say. The only problem was he had no idea what that was. “Well I need to shower so if you’re not leaving, nothing’s stopping you from following me upstairs,” Sebastian said with an eye roll, barely making eye contact with Blaine. 

Blaine let out a sigh and decided he would follow Sebastian, do everything in his power to convince him he was sorry and ready to be with him in whatever capacity he’d have him. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it finally is- the chapter everything has built up to. I was irrationally nervous about posting this and spent way too long editing which is why it's a bit later than expected, but here we go. I hope y'all enjoy.   
> Also warning- I'm not a smut writer at all and went back and forth as to whether to include that specific aspect, and eventually I did. Please bear with me haha, I'm new to this.   
> Comments and kudos always appreciated :)

They reached Sebastian’s room after a minute of wandering through the mansion. Blaine was careful to follow behind Sebastian, but not too closely that he would provoke another negative response. Still, he couldn’t help but admire the faint sweat stains on the back of Sebastian’s shirt, and the way the t-shirt clung to his back, daring Blaine to skip all of the feelings and the confessions and just kiss him as soon as he had the chance. 

Upon entering the room, Sebastian tossed his gym bag on his bed and then wrapped a towel around the back of his neck as he stared at Blaine and waited for an explanation. “So are you going to tell me why you’re in my house?” He asked, irritation in his voice. 

Blaine knew Sebastian wouldn’t be happy about seeing him. He’d screwed up more than he thought he could with a situation as casual as theirs. As Blaine tried to think of a way to explain what he wanted to say, his eyes wandered around Sebastian’s room. It was messier than the last time he was there, probably because Sebastian had actually been living at his house again for a few weeks. There was sheet music all over his desk and lacrosse gear piled up in the corner. The most notable item in the room was the half empty bottle of Courvoisier on his nightstand. It made him feel guilty, like he’d sent Sebastian over the edge and the drinking was his way of trying to cope, like Evie alluded to only moments earlier. “Are you okay? I’m worried about you.” Not exactly what he wanted to say, but after observing Sebastian’s condition, it felt like this needed to be said first. 

Sebastian’s eyes followed Blaine’s to the Courvoisier. “I’m fine. Stop pretending to care.” He stripped off his soaked t-shirt as he spoke, refusing to look at Blaine as the conversation continued. Leave it to Sebastian to carry on with his regular routine as if Blaine wasn’t even there. Still, Blaine couldn’t help but stare at Sebastian’s bare skin, wishing they could skip to the part where everything would be okay again, and Blaine could touch him without getting yelled at. 

“I’m not pretending,” Blaine insisted as he took a step forward, his eyes narrowing as he tried to show his genuine concern for Sebastian. His heart sank to his stomach as the guilt over his actions the day before consumed his thoughts. “I’m really sorry, Sebastian. I never would have cancelled on you for Kurt under any other circumstances. His dad is dealing with some health…” 

Before Blaine could finish his apology, Sebastian interrupted him. “This isn’t about you. You really think your predictable return to your ex-boyfriend is enough to send me into a downward spiral? Is your ego really that big?” 

“Please stop doing this, Sebastian,” Blaine begged. Sebastian’s eyes continued to avoid contact with Blaine’s, but Blaine had enough of the stupid games, constantly refusing to show each other how they were really feeling. He stepped closer once again and used one of his hands to lift Sebastian’s chin enough that he was forced to look at Blaine. “Stop acting like nothing can hurt you when clearly it can. It doesn’t make you weak, it just makes you human.” 

When he realized he wasn’t sure what else he could say, Blaine stopped himself from continuing. He didn’t want to mess this up even more. That’s when he noticed that Sebastian was letting him touch him again; Blaine’s hand remained on Sebastian’s chin. “What are you talking about?” Sebastian asked in a whisper. His voice came across in broken waves, like it was breaking every bone in his body to even engage in this conversation. 

“I came here to apologize to you,” Blaine started, still trying to force Sebastian’s eyes to look into his. “I wasn’t thinking yesterday. I should have at least given you a better explanation and I never should have kept the stuff that happened with Kurt from you.” 

Sebastian rolled his eyes at the apology, clearly not convinced that Blaine’s rhetoric would change anything. “It’s not like we’re like…dating, or something,” he mumbled. It was so quiet that Blaine had to fight to make out what Sebastian was saying. There was so much hesitation in his voice at the word “dating” that Blaine started to question everything. 

“It was still wrong.” 

They looked at each other for a long moment in silence. Blaine was afraid to break it after the way Sebastian had reacted to all of his earlier apologies. Sebastian just stared at him, desperately trying to conceal the pain in his eyes. It gave Blaine a moment to really look at him, to try to figure out how he was feeling. The dark circles around his eyes and redness in his cheeks revealed his exhaustion. His eyes slowly became watery, but Sebastian wasn’t going to let Blaine see him cry again. Once was enough. “You said you were never going to leave me behind again,” Sebastian replied instead, his voice on the edge of breaking into pieces with every word. 

Blaine could vividly remember the moment he uttered those very words as they were lying in bed together that night at Sebastian’s house when Sebastian finally admitted to not wanting to be a rebound. “I won’t,” Blaine replied as he reached for Sebastian’s hand. Even if he didn’t want to, Sebastian needed to give into the touch. He could never resist temptation when it came to the other boy, and Blaine knew that better than anyone. “It’s over between Kurt and me, for real this time. I told him that I wouldn’t cut you and the warblers out and that wasn’t good enough for him. It just made me realize that I shouldn’t fight to be with him if I don’t even want to anymore.” 

Sebastian stared back at him, his hand shaking ever so slightly in Blaine’s embrace. “It’s done,” Sebastian muttered. It was framed more as a question than a statement, but Blaine simply nodded in response. “How am I supposed to believe that? Nick and Jeff saw you making out the other day.” 

Blaine took a step closer, wishing they could just skip past all of this debate about Kurt and start falling in love again. He kept scolding himself for letting the hopeless romantic in him escape, but he couldn’t help it. Standing there in front of him with no shirt and his chest glistening from sweat, Sebastian was gorgeous. “I promise. That kiss just caught me off guard, but I stopped it,” he explained, hoping it would be enough to halt Sebastian’s curiosity. 

“So what does that mean,” Sebastian started, pausing as he took a second to read Blaine’s expression, “for us?” 

For a second, Blaine contemplated what he would say next. He wanted to have something real with Sebastian. But he didn’t know exactly what that would look like. Sebastian was never the relationship type and they were only six months away from graduation. “I want to be with you, Sebastian,” he finally said. It was easier than he thought to admit how he felt. After all of the fighting and tension and delays, Blaine realized how stupid he’d been for not saying this sooner. “In every way that you’ll have me. I think I’ve known for a long time, but I was scared.” 

“Scared of what?” 

Where could he even begin? Scared of Sebastian not feeling the same way, scared of him jumping ship the second they hooked up, scared of his feelings for Kurt resurfacing, scared of trusting and relying on someone else again. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not scared anymore.” 

He knew there would be problems. Defining the relationship and understanding what it meant to be together would always be hard; that was true of any new relationship. But any of that pain or struggle or heartache would be worth it as long as it was with Sebastian. Besides, none of that needed to be sorted out right away. 

There was the faintest sign of a smile spreading across Sebastian’s lips, so subtle that Blaine barely noticed it at first until he found himself staring at the other boy. All of the longing to touch him and finally be with him for real consumed Blaine’s every move as he finally closed the distance between them with a kiss. 

Sebastian hesitated for a moment, clearly afraid to indulge after so long of holding back. But it only took a moment before Sebastian used their locked hands as leverage to push Blaine back against the wall. His tongue gently grazed the shorter boy’s lips as their bodies pressed together in the most obvious expression of their desperation to hold each other close. It was like they needed every square inch of their bodies to be attached. 

Blaine was sure it was the best kiss he’d ever experienced. This felt so much more real than any of their previous kisses. There was an unmatched layer of desire and almost painful lust in every movement, a fact that drastically escalated the sensation of every touch. 

Blaine allowed himself to fall at the mercy of Sebastian’s touch. It was like his body was melting to the floor and the touch of Sebastian’s lips was the only thing holding him up straight. Everything about the moment felt somewhat demanding, like Sebastian’s lips couldn’t stand to be disconnected from Blaine’s anymore. 

All of that desire, all of that longing, and Sebastian still had the ability to pull away, if only for a second. “Blaine, are you sure this time? You’re not going to run off to lady face tomorrow and forget this ever…” 

“Yes,” was all Blaine could manage in response. He needed to be close to Sebastian again or he thought he might collapse. Their hands were still clasped together, and his free hand was still attached to the back of Sebastian’s neck, but it wasn’t enough. He wanted everything. “You’re the one I want,” he finally admitted. It felt like a weight being lifted off his shoulders. All this time he kept going back and forth, never really admitting that he felt anything at all for Sebastian. But now, at least some of it was out in the open, and that was enough for Sebastian to embrace Blaine in another kiss, gently supporting his body as they moved to Sebastian’s bed. 

Blaine’s body collapsed on the bed first. He tried to hold himself up, still sitting on the edge of the bed as Sebastian finally removed Blaine’s shirt and positioned his body between the shorter boy’s legs. Something about Sebastian’s control over the situation turned Blaine on more than he expected it to. It was another one of those things that he couldn’t help but compare to Kurt, who always wanted Blaine to be in charge, yet wouldn’t let things escalate beyond a boring level of comfort. The transition to the bed was made smooth by Sebastian’s swift motions. His still damp, bare chest pressed up against Blaine’s as he leaned down to kiss him, slowly starting to lift Blaine’s body off the bed just enough to pull him into a laying position. Sebastian kept his hand locked with Blaine’s, as it had been for the past several minutes, and used his free hand to unbutton Blaine’s pants. The shorter boy was thankful for the movement; his pants were starting to get a little too tight anyway. 

Thoughts of the last time they were in this position consumed Blaine’s memories as he felt Sebastian pulling down his pants, all the strength in his single hand as he maintained a powerful hold over their locked fingers. 

As soon as Blaine’s pants fell to the ground, Sebastian started to remove his own. It was an act Sebastian had clearly done plenty of times before because it happened so fast that Blaine barely even felt their bodies pulling apart from each other. Within seconds, Sebastian’s lips were on Blaine’s neck, and the curly-haired boy felt himself leaning his own head backward to grant Sebastian greater access to his somewhat damp skin. An insecure moan found its way out of Blaine’s mouth as he felt Sebastian’s lips against his body. He could tell this would leave a mark, but he didn’t even care. He wanted to experience everything with Sebastian. 

The next sensation pulsing through Blaine’s body was triggered by the gentle touch of Sebastian’s finger running slowly down his back and eventually ending up at the hem of his briefs. It was then that Sebastian started to pull the fabric away from Blaine’s body, down far enough on his legs that Blaine was able to kick them away himself. Sebastian slowly began to caress every inch of Blaine’s body, taking every spare moment to glance into Blaine’s eyes to gauge his reaction. 

It felt perfect, like everything was falling into place as Sebastian’s fingers wrapped around him. Blaine’s eyes kept fluttering closed as he tried to keep his cool under the heat of Sebastian’s body. When he opened his eyes again, Sebastian had removed his own briefs and was lowering himself on top of Blaine’s body once again, holding himself up with the strength of his muscular arms, which drove Blaine crazy as always. 

“You should turn over,” Sebastian suggested as he slowly lifted the side of Blaine’s body so that Blaine would get the hint and turn onto his stomach. 

Blaine grinned as he followed Sebastian’s proposal, holding himself up by his elbows as he noticed Sebastian reaching for a bottle of lube and a box of condoms positioned on his nightstand. It was only seconds later that Sebastian plunged himself into Blaine’s body with a sense of ease, so much so that Blaine let out a loud groan at the first feeling of the other boy. He started slowly at first, attempting to make Blaine comfortable while also making him beg for more. After the first few thrusts, Sebastian positioned his hands on Blaine’s hips to steady himself over his body. “Is this good?” Sebastian asked, his voice sounding breathy but simultaneously ready for more. 

Blaine let out a weak whine at the question, so turned on by Sebastian’s asking for verification that he couldn’t even make out a proper sentence. “Yes, please just… keep going,” he finally moaned in response. 

He didn’t need to ask twice. Sebastian obliged and continued to press his body inside of Blaine’s. “I’ve wanted this for so long,” Sebastian mumbled as he pushed just a little bit further. 

As much as Blaine wanted to admit the same thing, the words weren’t there. He was too focused on the sensations of Sebastian’s lips occasionally pressing against his shoulder blades and the top of his spine. The only sounds coming from Blaine’s mouth were the soft echoes of whimpers and choking on his own breath. 

Sebastian’s thrusts in and out of Blaine started to slow as he pressed his chest against Blaine’s back and positioned his lips next to Blaine’s ear. “Turn around,” he muttered into the boy’s ear. “I want to look at you.” 

Blaine quickly gave into his instincts and turned himself over again, gently lifting his legs enough so that Sebastian could comfortably push himself inside of Blaine once again. 

Somehow, this felt even better than every previous movement between the two boys. Their lips collapsed together as Blaine tried to keep himself composed enough to make it a proper kiss. Blaine quickly found himself melting into the new position as he moved one of his hands onto Sebastian’s back, gently scratching at the bare skin, and his other hand in the taller boy’s wet hair, grasping at any way to maintain control over himself. He focused on the taller boy’s clenched teeth, his soaking wet body, and the determination in his eyes as Blaine tried to control his own breath. 

“Go... go faster,” Blaine murmured as he felt a rush of sensations traveling through his entire body. Sebastian’s lips, only a breath away from Blaine’s, shifted into a smirk as he obliged, clutching onto Blaine’s thighs and pushing them just a little bit farther apart to build momentum. Blaine’s eyes were clenched shut as he let out a series of breathless moans. 

Only a minute or so after Sebastian started to speed up, Blaine came to the realization that he probably wouldn’t last much longer. It was every possible sensation all at once, and Blaine had no idea how Sebastian could possibly do so much with his hands at once, but whatever his secret was, it was definitely working. It only took another few swift movements before Blaine’s come stained Sebastian’s chest and his head was crashing backward into the pillows, feeling such a sense of pleasure he was certain he couldn’t possibly move again. 

Blaine could tell Sebastian was close as well, because he didn’t stop, he just continued to push himself inside of Blaine as fast as he could, chasing the orgasm he was already on the brink of. Blaine just let it happen, his entire body tingling as he let out several whines. It was almost painful now in combination with his entire body falling into a state of oversensitive panting. 

Sebastian was deep inside of Blaine when he came, finally falling from the strong hold of his arms and collapsing onto the smaller boy’s chest. 

Both boys were soaked with sweat as they lied there together for as long as it would take for one of them to gain enough strength to move. Sebastian’s chin fell onto Blaine’s shoulder, his face buried in the crook of Blaine’s neck. His quickened breaths were flooding into Blaine’s ear, but Blaine appreciated every little touch. 

For a while, Sebastian didn’t even pull out; he just laid on top of Blaine, trying to return to a steady breathing pace. But when he finally started to catch his breath, he pulled out, tied up the condom, and tossed it in the trash in the corner of his room. Blaine could still barely open his eyes as Sebastian handed him a few tissues from the box beside his bed. They both cleaned themselves off in a motion that should not have taken as long as it did but was overwhelmed with an exhaustion so extreme Blaine didn’t think he could ever overcome it. 

After cleaning off, Sebastian collapsed on the bed beside Blaine, his eyes staring at the ceiling. Blaine did the same, not even wanting to consider the implications of what they’d just done. He was suddenly nervous about what Sebastian really wanted out of this relationship. Did he even want a relationship? He always thought most of this was about sex for Sebastian. Obviously, that wasn’t the case. At the very least, they would be friends with benefits. But Blaine didn’t want to be just one of the guys Sebastian fucked when he needed to forget about the world; he wanted to be the _only_ guy Sebastian ever thought about having sex with. 

Clearly, similar thoughts were on Sebastian’s mind as he leaned over and pressed a soft kiss against Blaine’s lips. “Are you okay?” He asked, somehow noticing the anxiety in Blaine’s eyes. 

“I’m perfect,” Blaine muttered in response. “Just thinking about us and what all of this means.” 

Sebastian nodded, understanding the concern. “Stay over. We can talk tomorrow.” 

That sounded like the perfect plan. After all of the nights they shared together, Blaine wanted nothing more than to fall asleep naked in Sebastian’s arms, and that’s exactly what he did. The exhaustion from the sex meant he passed out relatively quickly, his mind racing with thoughts of what the next day would bring. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're slowly approaching the end! This is basically the last chapter with real plot so I hope y'all have enjoyed this work. The next chapter is just going to tie up loose ends and give more of an outlook on the future. Thank you for all of the feedback and continuing to read this story. Comments & kudos always appreciated :)

Blaine woke up to the feeling of Sebastian’s warm breath on his neck, maintaining a steady rhythm of consistent heart beats. It was soothing, really, listening to him sleep. Sebastian was one of the most relaxed and naturally charismatic people that Blaine knew, but he was never vulnerable like this. Blaine tried to soak it all in, hoping he’d remember this day forever. The air smelled of the morning after sex, an aroma of sweat and lube and maybe a little bit of latex with a hint of different kinds of cologne. He had to admit he loved it. Despite the usually unimpressive odor of bodily fluids, Blaine wouldn’t have asked for anything different. 

He suspected that the relaxed feeling of vulnerability is eventually what led to Sebastian’s eyes slowly flickering open and looking up at the boy he’d just spent the night with. Sebastian looked beautiful, as always, but there was a new sense of tranquility about him that added a fond layer of depth to his every move, his green eyes suddenly open to Blaine in a way he’d never seen before. 

For a while, neither of them said anything at all. They just lied there, staring into each other’s eyes, wondering what the other might be thinking, each with a sort of smile on their lips. Yet somehow Blaine knew. Sebastian was happy, sure, but he was terrified. He always was around Blaine. This was a fact that finally became clear to him as they kissed the night before. It became obvious that Sebastian wasn’t like this with anyone else, not even his own family, opening up and choosing to trust Blaine through an act as intimate as sex was truly a miracle. But it was a miracle that scared the shit out of him. 

Somehow with Sebastian, everything felt natural. It wasn’t that same autopilot feeling of driving to Kurt’s house for the millionth time just to repeat the same night they’d shared countless other evenings, but it produced a similar comforting euphoria. Unexpected this time, more spontaneous but domestic in the same way. Better, he decided. His hand slowly stroked Sebastian’s hair, taking in everything about the simple touch, the scent, the sound of Sebastian’s breaths. It wasn’t until Blaine’s fingers stopped moving that Sebastian’s lips finally opened to whisper a few words. “You should keep playing with my hair,” he muttered, his voice soft and warm, like he could never possibly feel more at home than he did in this moment. 

He certainly didn’t have to ask twice; Blaine had already resumed the calming touch by the time Sebastian finished speaking. This time, the touch was accompanied by Blaine leaning down and lifting Sebastian’s chin to take in his lips for the most amazing good morning kiss either of them had ever shared. The kiss was met with a smile from Sebastian as he repositioned his hand to pull Blaine’s body closer. Blaine’s mind immediately rushed to the conclusion that this was it. This was what happiness felt like. “You up for round two?” Sebastian asked, the words vibrating against Blaine’s lips. 

If Blaine was being honest, he could have spent the entire day doing exactly that. It was winter break after all, and his parents wouldn’t even know since they were out of town until the second of January. The first time with Sebastian was enough to prove Blaine didn’t make a mistake. Of course, sex wasn’t everything, but it was definitely something he didn’t realize how much he was missing. He knew they needed to talk, to figure out what all of this meant, but nothing sounded more appealing than a repeat of the night before. “Just once,” Blaine mumbled in response as their lips connected again. 

Okay, maybe not just once, but twice before they finally got out of bed and each took turns in the shower. Well, started off taking turns until Sebastian “accidentally” walked in before Blaine was done. 

After the shower, Blaine insisted that was the last time, at least until they figured out what was going on. “Let’s go talk over coffee or something,” he suggested as they were getting ready. 

Everything about it felt so domestic, which Blaine never thought he’d be saying about Sebastian. Spending the night with Kurt was always fun; they would wake up in the morning and make breakfast together, then pretend to read the newspaper together like an old married couple. But that was the past now, something Blaine thought he’d never feel again after the break-up. Yet, here it was, something so pure with the person he never thought could be capable of such an intimate act, and that almost made it more romantic. “Are you sure you can go in public without your gel helmet?” Sebastian asked with a smirk as he pushed Blaine’s hair back, ruining the little bit of gel that Blaine had already applied. With an eye roll, Blaine put away the gel and turned to face him. “You’re just trying to get me back in bed with you.” 

Sebastian slowly approached him, resting a gentle hand against his cheek, which Blaine leaned into with ease. “Is that such a bad thing?” 

Blaine’s eyes closed as he leaned his head back to welcome the touch. He could have just let it happen, round four right there in the bathroom before they even left the house. “We need to talk,” Blaine mumbled, trying his best to ignore the stimulating touch of Sebastian’s lips against his neck. “This is why we need to go somewhere public.” 

“You think that’s going to stop me?” 

“No, but it’s going to stop me,” Blaine laughed as he finally pulled away to give Sebastian a quick peck on the lips. 

Sebastian groaned and leaned up against the wall behind them. “Blaine Anderson, you’re going to kill me.” 

Blaine grinned and returned to Sebastian’s bedroom to get his keys. “Come on, let’s go to the Lima Bean.” It was a risk they probably shouldn’t have been so willing to take. Anyone from Dalton would have been able to see them, but even worse, so could anyone from McKinley. It would get back to Kurt in a heartbeat, the news that Sebastian didn’t even wait for the body to be cold before swooping in to steal Blaine. At least that would be the narrative spread around Lima by the New Directions. But part of him wanted that. It would get the job over with before Blaine would have to do it himself. 

They arrived at the Lima Bean after a 40-minute drive, one that was delayed by Sebastian continuously reaching over to play with Blaine’s hair, or kiss his neck, or reach for the zipper of his jeans, or do some other teasing motion that was sure to drive the other boy insane. Once again, Blaine found himself tempted to give up on the whole “that was the last time until we talk” thing right there, but luckily, Sebastian pulled away from the brief make out first. “Alright, let’s get this talk thing over with. There’s a pretty hot guy I’m trying to get back in bed with me,” Sebastian smirked as he gave Blaine a sweet kiss on the cheek and then got out of the car. 

Sebastian followed closely behind Blaine as they walked into the Lima Bean together. Something felt different about this particular visit to the popular coffee shop. They’d met here hundreds of times, but this time they had a secret, something no one there would know. Sebastian knew the barista by name, and most of the staff had memorized both of their orders by this point. But no one had any idea that today was different. And something about that was exciting. 

Both boys sat down with their coffees at their usual table a few moments later after several efforts by Sebastian to hold Blaine’s hand or touch his butt or give him a quick kiss. Blaine refused to give into the touches, not wanting to be caught by one of his McKinley classmates that was inevitably sitting somewhere in the café. He’d been ignoring texts from Sam and Tina all morning in favor of spending the day in bed with Sebastian instead, but he still wanted his two best friends to learn this news from him instead of some random person outside of the glee club. 

The silence when they sat together was comfortable, a feeling they’d shared often in this very place. But this time, Sebastian was staring at him with a knowing smirk, eyes that communicated the very sentence that Sebastian said first. “You’re cute.” The words seemed to release from Sebastian’s lips without any control. It brought back a memory for Blaine, one he didn’t even know he had. Sebastian said those exact same words that night after Scandals. Blaine thought he’d been too drunk to remember most of it, but suddenly he could picture the moment perfectly. His head on Sebastian’s shoulder, Sebastian’s fingers playing with his hair, Blaine gripping his sleeve like a little kid. He never thought he’d hear those words again. And now here they were, so easy, so natural. “God, I’m sappy.” 

“I like sappy,” Blaine said in response. After all, Valentine’s Day had always been his favorite holiday, a trait shared only among saps like him. “We should talk, though.” 

Sebastian’s smile faded a bit, but it was obvious he was trying not to let the talking bring down his mood. They were both on a high that nothing could destroy. “Okay, let’s talk,” Sebastian said in response, his eyes daring Blaine to say the first words. 

This signaled a shift in the tone of the conversation. Blaine no longer felt like they were on equal ground, but that Sebastian was towering over him, his arms crossed as he stared into Blaine’s eyes with a sense of mild distress. Talking about his feelings was never Sebastian’s forte, so he needed to dominate the talk with body language to show he wasn’t weak. “What do you want out of this exactly?” Blaine asked first, deciding not to beat around the bush. Sebastian’s deep green eyes were intimidating, and he didn’t want to risk his words getting misunderstood by failing to address what he wanted to talk about right away. “Sorry, I just mean what does all of this mean to you?” 

Silence. Sebastian hated these talks; it’s probably why he just wanted to stay in bed all day and avoid the real world. If they didn’t consider the implications of their newfound romance, or whatever it was, then they wouldn’t have to confront their own feelings. Plus, Blaine wasn’t completely convinced Sebastian had ever had one of these serious talks before. “I think it means we’re both hot, and we have good sex, so we should just keep being hot, and keep having good sex.” 

Blaine let out a disappointed sigh. He should have seen this coming. What more did he expect from Sebastian? “Just with each other?” He asked, hoping Sebastian would be the one to define the exclusivity of their situation. 

It wasn’t a subtle question; Sebastian knew exactly what Blaine was trying to say. He wasn’t cool with Sebastian sleeping around with random guys if they were going to be something. How could he be when the way he felt about Sebastian was so intense? “Sure, just with each other,” Sebastian repeated.

Blaine’s cheeks reddened at the reveal. Sebastian would give up his life as a wealthy Dalton playboy to have something real with him? It was too surreal of a possibility to consider. “What are we then?” He knew he was probably pushing too hard, but he wouldn’t let this go away. After all of the time they spent apart, Blaine wasn’t willing to spend any more time left in the dark. “Exclusive friends with benefits?” The sarcasm was hard to avoid, but he tried his best to prevent the snark from invading his voice. 

“Blaine, I know what you’re trying to do. I’m not good with the labels and stuff, and I don’t really think we need an exact definition or whatever. But if you insist, you’re probably better suited to come up with that sort of thing,” Sebastian said, shrugging as he leaned back in his chair and took a sip of his coffee. 

_Boyfriends_. Blaine thought to himself. The word could’ve slipped out of his mouth so easily that he was surprised when he noticed it was all in his head. It was probably obvious that’s what he wanted, but part of him was afraid that Sebastian wouldn’t want to use the label. 

The green-eyed boy stared at Blaine, waiting for an answer that he couldn’t quite figure out how to give. Even worse than the deafening silence between the two was the third-party voice that arrived uninvited. “Blaine, you should leave.” It was Finn. Of course, Finn was here. Of all the McKinley kids that could have showed up at the Lima Bean that day, it had to be Kurt’s brother. 

Spoke too soon. Blaine shuddered as he noticed the person following closely behind Finn looking even worse than his brother. Neither Kurt nor Finn looked like they’d slept since the last time Blaine saw them, which was alarming given how horrible they already looked two days earlier. Kurt’s eyes immediately landed on the warbler sitting across from Blaine, causing him to turn around and start walking toward the car. “Wait, don’t leave,” Blaine said as he started to stand up and follow after him. After all, if they couldn’t share a coffee shop in peace then how could they possibly move on from the breakup? Besides, Blaine would rather be the one to leave. Kurt was dealing with enough. 

“Of course,” Sebastian mumbled under his breath, just loud enough that Blaine could still hear him. 

Kurt shook his head in disbelief as he continued to storm out of the coffee shop with Finn following a few steps behind. “Why isn’t your hair gelled?” Kurt asked abruptly when he turned around to face Blaine again. They were outside now, Finn and Sebastian standing in the doorway, exchanging an awkward glance as they tried to figure out what the hell Kurt was talking about. 

“Kurt, what the hell does my hair have to do with…” 

“You didn’t even wait a week? You didn’t even give me a chance to deal with my dad before hopping into bed with _him_?” Kurt yelled, tears filling his eyes and his entire body practically falling apart. The lack of sleep and obvious emotional distress from his dad’s cancer was clearly getting to him. Still, he knew Blaine better than most people, and he probably assumed that the messy hair was an indicator of Blaine spending the night at Sebastian’s. 

Blaine couldn’t help but roll his eyes as he yelled back. “What are you talking about? It’s been months, Kurt. And we talked about this; it’s done,” the curly haired boy insisted, his hands slowly clenching into fists as he fought the urge to match his ex-boyfriend’s anger. “I’m sorry about everything that’s going on with your dad, but this just needs to be done, Kurt. It’s already been months. We can’t prolong it anymore.” “Why? Because your backup plan won’t wait forever?” Kurt snapped, glaring at the tall boy standing next to his brother. 

That’s when Blaine snapped. Sure, he’d spent years listening to Kurt refer to Sebastian as Blaine’s second choice, a backup option for when things with Kurt didn’t work out, or when they had a fight and Blaine needed to vent, or when Blaine needed an escape from the New Directions. But after everything, that was far from the truth. Blaine wanted Sebastian more than he’d ever wanted anyone. Maybe it was the years of quietly pining for the leader of the Warblers, or maybe it was Kurt forcing him to suppress those feelings for so long. Either way, Blaine was sick of Kurt standing in the way of something he wanted. “First of all, Sebastian is not my backup plan. He never was. Second of all, this isn’t up to you. You and I are done. I’m sorry that it had to end like this, but I can’t do it anymore.” 

Kurt stared into the boy’s eyes, searching for any humanity, any doubt. But it wasn’t there. Blaine was 100 percent positive that this is what he wanted, and anyone would have been able to tell in that moment. As Kurt’s eyes filled with tears, he took a second to process the conversation, desperately wishing that Blaine would change his mind and leave him. But it became painfully obvious that Blaine wasn’t leaving, and that he was more ready to move on than Kurt ever thought he would be. 

Blaine barely processed the other boy’s actions as Kurt turned around and got into his car with Finn. They pulled out of the parking lot before Blaine even had a chance to blink, and Sebastian continued to stand in the doorway to the Lima Bean in utter shock, his jaw forcing itself open as he stared into Blaine’s vacant eyes. Something about seeing it all in person meant that Sebastian could finally believe it. Blaine was his and only his now; and Sebastian didn’t plan on that ever changing. 

Neither boy felt like coffee after the incident with Kurt. They ended up in the car driving around Lima for a while, listening to music and avoiding deep conversation. Somehow, they could speak to each other without saying any words at all. Blaine knew it would be okay. Sebastian wouldn’t be mad about Kurt anymore; Blaine wouldn’t feel guilty ever again. The unexpected closure given by the confrontation with Kurt meant that they could really start something, and as time went on, it became clear that the something would be utterly amazing.

It was late afternoon when Blaine found himself parking his car on the side of the road near a gorgeous frozen lake somewhere between Columbus and Lima, past a couple of experimental turns and down a long dirt road that brought them to an undiscovered scenic overlook, exposing the young lovers to a perfect view to share with each other. 

Without saying a word, Sebastian unbuckled his seat belt and began to wander around the sight, searching for the best place to sit with the Blaine while still admiring the bright yellow sun that shined above the ice. There was a picnic table a few feet below the road that seemed like a nice place to sit, so Sebastian reached for Blaine’s hand and led him to the spot, sitting the other boy down right next to him and squeezing his hand to indicate that he never planned on letting it go. Sebastian didn’t used to be much for hand holding, but Blaine Anderson changed all of that. Soon Blaine found himself leaning into every little touch, his head falling onto Sebastian’s shoulder and his hand relaxing into his tight grasp. 

A few moments of silence passed, neither boy wanting to ruin the moment. The serious “talk” they tried to start earlier didn’t seem so appealing anymore. Kurt’s entrance ruined it all, and Blaine was terrified that if he brought it up again, it would ruin everything. He didn’t even look at the other boy, just found comfort in his arms, trying to focus on how amazing it all felt instead of freaking out about the implications of it all. 

“Okay,” Sebastian all of a sudden mumbled. The word startled Blaine enough that he jolted out of place a bit, shocked to hear the other boy break the silence. Sebastian was never one for speaking first. It was always on Blaine to start the conversation. But this time, something changed. He was finally ready to be honest. Not that the simple phrase “okay” revealed that honesty. 

Blaine immediately turned to face the other boy with confused eyes. What could he possibly mean? “Okay?”

“Okay, as in, you’re right. Exclusive friends with benefits, boyfriends, whatever. You can call me whatever you want,” Sebastian replied, refusing to make eye contact. Exclusivity was new to Sebastian, and it was evident from the tone of his voice. It wasn’t hesitance. In fact, Sebastian was anything but hesitant about his decision to date Blaine. His usual confidence, however, disappeared. Somehow, for some reason, Sebastian seemed nervous that Blaine wouldn’t return his feelings. 

Despite the nervousness in the other boy’s tone, Blaine was ecstatic. He could barely hold back a smile as he leaned forward and embraced Sebastian in a soft kiss, one that meant even more than all of the others. Sebastian couldn’t hold back a smile as he returned the sweet kiss, inching closer to the other boy as he embraced his cheek in his hand. 

The kiss didn’t last long before Blaine pulled away with a sudden expression of hesitance and anxiety. “Wait, are you sure? Because I know you’ve never really done the whole relationship thing before, plus I’m sure Kurt will be at your throat about this. I just want to make sure you’re really ready to do this.” 

Sebastian waited a beat before he replied, simply locking eyes with his new boyfriend and giving the boy a soft smirk. “Of course I’m sure. I don’t do anything half ass. And I can handle Hummel. You’re worth it.” 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are- the last chapter! I've enjoyed writing this fic so much. It's been so fun hearing everyone's thoughts and developing the characters. This chapter intends to tie up loose ends and maybe give some sort of an outlook on Sebastian & Blaine's future following this fic. 
> 
> I also just wanted to quickly include some plans for the future. I'm considering writing a sequel and have actually started some of the groundwork for that, although I'm not 100% sure what it'll look like yet. In the meantime, there's another Seblaine long fic I've been working on for a while that I think will be the next thing I publish. I hope you all will check it out when the time comes. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the last chapter & let me know what you think :)

Waking up in bed together was beginning to feel natural. Several days passed of pure domestic bliss in which Sebastian and Blaine rarely left Sebastian’s bedroom. They would order food or make the long journey downstairs to grab a few servings of whatever the Smythes’ chef was cooking. Despite living at home for the time being, Sebastian didn’t speak to his parents or his sister for almost the entirety of winter break. It was nice not having to explain their relationship to anyone; it allowed them to fall for each other without the interference of Sebastian’s nosy little sister or Blaine’s jealous ex-boyfriend or their gossiping rival show choirs. Inevitably, the fun would end and they’d both have to return to reality, only seeing each other outside of the confines of school and trying to make time on their busy weekends. But they were used to it by now. It’s not like Sebastian and Blaine didn’t have to jump through hundreds of hoops just to maintain a friendship. 

By December 31st, Blaine was convinced he’d fallen in love. When it was just the two of them, everything felt right. Not a single argument, just lots of sweet conversations and even more hot sex. It almost seemed like Sebastian had some sort of mission to fuck Blaine every chance he got, sometimes interrupting a conversation or a shower or Blaine’s thoughts just to have another go at it. It felt like he was trying to make up for lost time. Of course, this is kind of what Blaine expected a relationship with Sebastian to be like. He just hoped nothing would change when they had to return to the real world. 

Sebastian’s phone started blowing up by 10:00 A.M. on New Year’s Eve and after they finished their pre-breakfast quickie, Blaine decided he was sick of the text messages and reached for Sebastian’s phone. “Who’s trying to steal you away from me?” Blaine asked as he typed in Sebastian’s password and looked at the texts. It was sort of endearing how Sebastian already let Blaine have full access to so much of his life. It took Kurt months to share his phone password, and he never shared the new one after he changed it following the whole Chandler incident. 

“It’s the Warblers group chat. A guy from the lacrosse team is throwing a big New Year’s Eve Party tonight,” Sebastian explained, reaching for his phone to read the messages. “Just as I expected, the followers are saying they don’t want to go unless I go,” he said with an eye roll as he turned off his phone and then leaned closer to his new boyfriend. “Unfortunately for them, I already have plans.” He leaned in for a kiss to which Blaine just smiled and kissed him back, pulling his boyfriend closer.

But Blaine would not let Sebastian get away with ditching his friends just to spend another day in bed with him, even if it did sound amazing to both of them. “Come on, it’s New Year’s Eve. Don’t you want to drink some champagne, see your friends, start the new year right with a kiss from your boyfriend?” Blaine asked with a smirk, leaning in to give Sebastian another kiss. 

“Maybe just that last one,” Sebastian grinned as he kissed him again. “But we can do that here. The champagne in my parents’ wine cellar is way nicer than whatever crap the lacrosse team will come up with.” 

Blaine shrugged, leaning back on the bed and staring into Sebastian’s eyes. “You’ll regret it if you don’t. Plus, this could be how we tell all of them about us,” he suggested, making sure to look at Sebastian to see his reaction. “Unless you don’t want them to know?” 

“Of course I want them to know. They’ve been giving me shit about you for like a year now. This will finally shut them up and now I can say I told you so to Trent who said you’d never sleep with me,” Sebastian joked as he reached for the other boy’s hand. “It’s not really about them. It’s more…” He paused, clearly stuck on what he was trying to say. “It’s about us. We haven’t talked about how we’re going to tell people or what we’re going to tell them or who we’re going to tell or even who we want to know.” It was an odd thing to say for someone as confident as Sebastian, but Blaine was beginning to find out his boyfriend was full of surprises. “Jesus, I sound like a girl.” 

Blaine let out a short laugh at the last comment before reaching across the bed to rest his hand on Sebastian’s cheek. “No, it’s sexy. We should talk about that stuff.” 

Sebastian released a sigh of relief as he leaned into the gentle touch of Blaine’s hand. “I’m a little nervous.” 

“Nervous? Why?” 

Slowly, Blaine decided he would get Sebastian to open up. That’s exactly what he was doing. Over the past few months ever since they reconnected, Sebastian started to crack open little by little, letting Blaine see different sides of him. Some of them were good, some of them were sad, but all of them were bits and pieces of Sebastian that he loved. He just wanted to learn more. Sebastian could tell this is what Blaine needed from him, but after spending his entire life shutting off his feelings and never talking about them with anyone, it was understandably difficult for him to volunteer too many of his emotions. “Please don’t judge me.” 

“Have I ever judged you?” Blaine asked in reply.

“Maybe just the time you picked me up wasted on the side of the road and I told you all about the guy I fucked in the bathroom,” Sebastian joked, provoking Blaine to reply with a playful nudge. “Honestly, it’s kind of about Kurt.” 

Blaine sighed at the mention of his ex-boyfriend. He barely thought about Kurt anymore when he was with Sebastian, other than the occasional comparison in which Blaine realized how much more right all of this felt. “What about Kurt?” 

Sebastian hesitated again, his hand removing itself from Blaine’s as he turned to face the wall instead of his boyfriend. “What if it doesn’t work out? What if you change your mind? I’m not good at relationships; I’ve never even tried. So what if in a couple weeks, or a couple months, after we’ve been back at school and around our friends and we have to start committing to college and stuff, you decide you’d rather be with him?” He asked, clearly embarrassed by the thought. “I’ll just be left alone, looking like the idiot that got involved in someone else’s love story.” 

Blaine’s eyes sunk as he heard the fear in Sebastian’s voice. This was the most honest he’d been in a while, and even though Blaine was grateful for that honesty, it broke his heart to know Sebastian still wasn’t 100 percent sure of Blaine’s commitment. “Sebastian, look at me,” he said as he reached for the boy’s hand. “I care about you. I want you. From now on, I’m always going to choose you. I don’t know what will happen with college or school, but we’ll figure it out together. We’ve wasted so much time playing around, never admitting how we felt. Now that we have, I’m never letting you go.” It sounded like one of those cheesy romance movie confessions of love, Blaine’s very own Say Anything moment. But it needed to be said. If Blaine repeated it enough, maybe one day Sebastian would believe him. 

“I know I’m being stupid,” Sebastian admitted, his eyes roaming around the room. “But I’ve wanted this for so long. Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t chase after you for a year and a half just to sleep with you. And I’m so scared I’m gonna screw it up. I probably will screw it up.”

“Stop it,” Blaine said with a frown, leaning in closer to Sebastian. “Everyone screws up. But we’re going to figure this out together. And contrary to what you seem to think, I’ve wanted this for a long time, too.” That’s when Sebastian finally gave up and let Blaine give him a quick kiss, one that would help wipe away any of his doubts. 

“Does that mean you’re gonna make me go to this New Year’s Eve thing?” 

Blaine laughed as he stood up and started walking toward the bathroom. “The first thing you should know is that relationships usually mean sometimes doing things you don’t really wanna do. Besides, I have some things I want to say to the Warblers.” 

Sebastian sighed as he sat up on the bed, staring after Blaine as he left the room. “Does your plan for the day at least include me joining you in the shower?” 

“Are you kidding? Of course it does.” 

A few hours passed before either of them was ready to go in public. Blaine had to gel his hair and pick out the best outfit to welcome the new year, which meant driving all the way back to Lima to get a change of clothes. He figured he’d bring enough clothes to stay the night on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day, then he’d have to return to his house on the second day of the new year so his parents wouldn’t know he spent all of winter break crashing at his boyfriend’s house in Columbus, not that they’d care much. 

The New Directions were spending New Year’s Eve at Finn and Kurt’s house which is the main reason Blaine felt no obligation to go to the party. There’s no way he was bringing Sebastian to Kurt’s house immediately after finding out his dad has cancer. Plus, like he said to Sebastian, there was something he needed to say to the Warblers. While in the car, Blaine did have a chance to call Sam and apologize for being off the grid. Apparently, Sam already heard about Sebastian through Finn and Kurt, but Blaine finally got to tell his side of the story, which was obviously the side Sam cared about the most. And Sam promised to straighten out the story with Tina before everything got too out of control. 

Like usual, Sebastian spent the entire day trying to convince Blaine that staying inside in bed was the best way to spend New Year’s Eve, but of course, he didn’t succeed. They arrived at the lacrosse player’s house around 8:00 that night and everyone was thrilled to see Blaine. The Warblers barely even acknowledged Sebastian when he walked in, skipping straight to greeting their former lead soloist with open arms. “Blaine, I had no idea you were coming,” Trent said first as he welcomed Blaine with a hug.

“I definitely had to do some convincing to get Sebastian here, but it was worth it to see all of you again,” Blaine replied as he returned the hug and then moved to greet the other Warblers. 

While Blaine spent some time catching up with some of the Warblers, Sebastian disappeared somewhere to get drinks. Blaine decided this would be the perfect time for him to pull all of the Warblers aside to do what he knew he should have done a long time ago. “Hey, there’s something I want to say to all of you,” Blaine started as he gestured for everyone to take a seat and listen to him. The party was loud, but the group was able to find a spot where they could all stand and sit around together in the living room to find a nice moment of serenity before returning to the craziness of a New Year’s party. 

“I know it’s been a long time, and this is something I really should have done a year ago, probably before I transferred to McKinley. But I want to apologize to all of you. You guys were like my brothers for so long and you got me through one of the hardest years of my life and I took you for granted. Looking back, I wasn’t thinking when I decided to transfer schools and I definitely didn’t consider how it would impact all of you. I love the New Directions, but it’s never gonna be the same,” Blaine admitted, his eyes moving around the circle of Warblers sitting and standing around in front of him. “I hope you all can forgive me and one day you can all trust me again. I was in a dark place last year when Kurt asked me to take a step back from my friendship with all of you but I’m never going to let myself go to that place again. You’re my family and I hope things can go back to the way they were.” 

The Warblers all looked at Blaine with half-smiles and sympathetic eyes. Sebastian returned halfway through Blaine’s speech and when he finished, he handed him a drink and gave him a playful wink, indicating how proud he was of Blaine for having the guts to do something like this, especially when most of the Warblers had already forgiven him and this just meant reopening old wounds. “You had me at hey,” Trent admitted as he stood up and embraced Blaine in a hug. Nick and Jeff followed soon after, and before he knew it, the entire group was embracing Blaine in a tight hug. 

“Once a Warbler, always a Warbler,” Sebastian reminded Blaine as he joined the hug. It was cheesy and perfect, and Blaine felt a weight lifted off his shoulders now that he had the Warblers’ forgiveness and Sebastian by his side. 

Somehow, a bunch of the Warblers ended up doing karaoke with some of the girlfriends of the guys on the lacrosse team after that while Sebastian stood back and watched Blaine attempt a tipsy rendition of a Katy Perry song with some girl he’d never met. Several drinks later and it was an hour and a half before midnight. The countdown to the new year was on a flat screen TV in the living room and Blaine was getting ready to celebrate with Sebastian when he got an unexpected phone call from Sam. He picked it up, deciding it was important to celebrate with his best friend as well as his boyfriend. “Sam! I was just talking about you!” Blaine exclaimed as he picked up the phone, accepting another drink from Sebastian in the process. 

Sam laughed on the other end of the call, clearly sober and enjoying his friend’s drunken rambling. “The New Directions New Year party is a bust; none of the newbies showed up and Finn and Kurt really just want to spend time with family. Where are you?” 

“I’m at a party in Dublin; you should come!” Blaine suggested enthusiastically. It would be nice to see all of his friends getting along together for once. 

Sam laughed on the other end of the call. “I’ll barely make it in time for midnight,” he said with a sigh. 

“Just drive fast,” Blaine suggested, taking a quick sip of his drink. “I can’t start the new year without my best friend.” 

“Alright, fine. Text me the address. Can Britt, Tina, and Mike come?” 

“Totally, the more the merrier,” Blaine agreed as he hung up and found himself stumbling toward Sebastian. “Hey cutie. I’ve missed you.” 

Sebastian laughed, happily accepting Blaine into his arms as they came together in a warm embrace. “I just saw you 10 minutes ago, but thanks. I missed you, too.” 

“You know what we should do?” Blaine asked, leaning in as close as he could get to Sebastian’s ear.

“What?” 

“Fit in our last quickie before the new year,” Blaine said with a smirk, reaching for his boyfriend’s hand. 

Blaine’s slurred words and obvious horny exterior made Sebastian laugh, even if he was extremely tempted by the idea. Sebastian was never one to turn down any form of sex, so the two boys wandered off together, Sebastian a little bit more coherent than his wasted boyfriend. They ended up in a bathroom upstairs where no one would notice they were missing while Sebastian fit in a quick blow job and Blaine returned the favor with a sloppy hand job. Part of it made Sebastian laugh, how much Blaine wanted to make him feel good despite his drunken stupor. It was all pretty endearing in a horny kind of way. 

By the time they returned downstairs, Sebastian disappeared to get Blaine some water while Blaine looked around to see if his friends from McKinley had arrived yet. While left without Sebastian, Blaine found himself wandering outside onto the patio out the back door of the house. It was lightly coated in snow, but that didn’t stop him from leaning against the wall of the house and staring up at the stars, trying to find a constellation, something about the universe he could take with him to remember from this night. 

“So you and Sebastian?” 

The voice startled a drunk Blaine who wasn’t paying much attention to his surroundings. He nearly fell over as he turned around to find Trent standing near the door. He must have followed Blaine out of the house. “Yeah, me and Sebastian,” Blaine replied, finally settling down and turning back to face the sky once again. 

“I told him it would never happen,” Trent acknowledged with a laugh. 

“So did I,” Blaine agreed.

They both burst out laughing at the thought, remembering what things were like only a year earlier when Sebastian would obsessively flirt with Blaine and Blaine would subtly flirt back, never intending for it to go further than that. Now here they were, a couple, at a party, telling the world about their relationship. Despite Blaine’s concerns, Sebastian seemed so genuine about wanting to make it work that he was no longer paranoid about their fate. “You guys will be good together,” Trent eventually said when they both stopped laughing and resumed looking off into the distance. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Trent replied, turning to Blaine to give him a soft smile. “I mean, he’s an asshole. But he’s a lovable asshole. And you seriously bring out the best in him.” 

Blaine thought about it for a moment, reflecting on everything with Sebastian and trying to remember a time where he didn’t feel this overwhelming sense of admiration for the leader of the Warblers. “Yeah, he brings out the best in me, too, I think.” To someone who didn’t know what it was like to live in Blaine’s mind, it may have sounded crazy. Sebastian was a bad boy, someone who drank more than anyone should at 17 and hooked up with more guys than he could count, but he saw Blaine like no one else did. He recognized the individuality in him that no one had seen in a long time, maybe since Dalton, maybe forever. 

“There you are, Killer; I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Sebastian’s voice interrupted as he stepped out onto the patio with a glass of water. “Your groupies are here.” 

Blaine smiled and gave Trent a quick pat on the shoulder while he made his way inside. Sebastian gave him a kiss on the cheek and handed him the glass of water as they approached the New Directions. “Blainey Days, it’s been so long!” Tina exclaimed as she embraced Blaine in a tight hug. Sure, it had only been a few days. But when you’re used to seeing each other every day, a few days is a lot. Besides, so much changed in those few days that it felt like a lifetime. 

“Dude, we’ve missed you,” Sam said, joining the hug. Brittany was soon latching onto the three of them and Mike joined soon after, probably feeling awkward as the odd one out. 

As they pulled away from the hug, Sebastian stood behind Blaine, lingering a few feet back to allow him space to greet his friends. Blaine glanced toward Mike then leaned in closer to Tina, out of earshot of the others. “I hope you know you’re going to need to fill me in later,” he whispered, and he couldn’t help but notice the blush on Tina’s cheeks at the comment. 

Sebastian appeared behind the reunited group of friends a moment later, wrapping an arm around Blaine as he popped open a bottle of champagne. “Five minutes to midnight,” he reminded his boyfriend as he poured him a red solo cup of the bubbly beverage then proceeded to do the same for Blaine’s friends. 

It was a miracle, almost every one of the most important people in Blaine’s life getting along. Suddenly it felt like everything had fallen together. It happened slowly and Blaine didn’t quite realize how happy he’d become after so long of feeling lost. But now he had everything he’d ever wanted: a new promising relationship, a group of friends that clearly cared about him, and an amazing year of memories of an epic last semester of high school to look forward to. 

Blaine must have zoned out for a while because Sebastian gently squeezed his shoulder to bring everything back into focus. “Hey, Earth to Blaine, are you okay?” 

Blaine looked up at his boyfriend with a smile, gently pulling him in closer. “I’m just…I’m really happy to be here with you. I can’t wait to spend the new year with you.” 

Sebastian reacted as any boyfriend should, pressing a soft kiss to Blaine’s cheek and then clinking their glasses together just as the crowd surrounding them started to count down from 60. As Blaine shouted the numbers with the rest of the party guests, he was careful to recognize the little things he’d want to remember about this moment; Sebastian’s arm around him, Sam thrusting his fist in the air surrounded by a group of Dalton boys, Tina wrapped in Mike’s arms as they stared into each other’s eyes softly mumbling the numbers with the rest of the group, all of the little moments that weaved together to create Blaine’s happy place. 

Blaine and Sebastian locked eyes as the countdown from ten began. At ten, Sebastian held him close, looking into his eyes with an unprecedented passion and sense of belonging Blaine was sure he’d never seen before. At eight, neither Blaine nor Sebastian could contain the anticipation building up inside of them as they waited for that kiss, a kiss that would signify the beginning of a year of being in love. At five, it was almost here, and Blaine could taste the excitement in the air creating a refreshing outlook for their future, a sense of purpose fulfilling his entire group of friends. At three, Sebastian was leaning in, almost making Blaine drop his drink as he became unable to focus on anything but those gorgeous green eyes staring at his lips. Then suddenly, three, two, one, and it was midnight. Blaine closed the distance between them, locking their lips together in the most perfect moment, refusing to let go of this person that he was overwhelmed with so many feelings for. 

Others around them were doing the same. Sam and Brittany were practically making out only a few feet away while Mike and Tina were discreetly doing the same in the corner of the room. Almost all of the Warblers had somebody, too. It was a beautiful picture, but all that mattered to Blaine was this moment he shared with Sebastian, who he thought would always be the one that got away, a friend or something more than a friend that he would never be allowed to love, and suddenly became the person he planned to spend every future New Year’s Eve with.

As their lips disconnected, Blaine could tell Sebastian was thinking almost the same thing, but his eyes were swirling with millions of thoughts of what the future would hold. It could have been fears, dreams, wishes, anything. And that’s when a random thought occurred to Blaine, something he could have ignored but decided might actually be the perfect thing to say in the moment. “So did I prove it?” He asked, staring into Sebastian’s deep emerald gaze. 

Sebastian didn’t seem to understand the ambiguous question. “Prove what?” 

“That love is worth it,” Blaine replied simply. He thought back to that first kiss they shared on that late night after rehearsal in Blaine’s bedroom, consumed by feelings they didn’t know how to deal with and unable to picture a world where anything could ever be this uncomplicated. 

This wasn’t Blaine professing his love; it would take both of them a while to do that. Things would have to be slow. But for the first time in Sebastian’s life, this was exactly what he wanted, and he wasn’t terrified of what would happen in the future. A million thoughts sprinting through Sebastian’s mind, but only one that truly expressed how he felt in that moment. “You’ve proven me wrong again, Killer,” he replied with a smirk, taking a sip of his champagne and carefully watching as Blaine did the same. “Everything with you has always been worth it.” 

As Blaine embraced the taller boy once more in their second kiss of the new year, everything felt exactly the way it should. It was a new relationship, sure. He couldn’t predict whether it would result in more heartache or an epic love story, but he could certainly tell anything with Sebastian would be a fantastic adventure that he didn’t want to wait another minute for. 


End file.
